N Sufjan Posted September 8, 2018 Posted September 8, 2018 Hello, I am back to the dating scene after many one night stand experiences. Got bored and tired of those experiences and i am convinced today that at my age, its time to build real connection with someone for a stable relationship. So i have been texting that girl i like for some weeks now. Actually, we met already 9 months ago and for some reason we stopped texting regulary. Weeks ago, we started to text very regularly and making plans for a second date. Connection started to build by texting ( she has been calling me honey for example.. i dont know how to interpret this but well lol) So yesterday was the day, i took her from her place to a nice restaurant and we had really good time talking for 4 hours and getting to know each other more... i tried to get more closer to her with some touches or a kiss but i hesitated... i only touched her twice and no good night kiss. The date went really fine and she was glad spending time with me it seems ( she told me that btw ) Now, i am trying to make the good moves and no needy attitude. I dropped her off yesterday and drove back home... well i was expecting some texto asking me if i arrived well since i had to drive 13kms back home but it s okay we were both tired. This morning, i sent her a sms ( we usually use whatsapp but i preferred sending a texto ) asking her if she arrived well at the dentist. She replied yes and asked me if i arrived well yesterday and then i told her i thought the dentist was in another town and she replied no, pay attention to what i say with a laugh emoji. I believe i am starting to make things more complicated than they should be and i am afraid i will end up being needy asking about her and showing more interest than her. I need plz your advice to gain confidence and let the game on without being needy: i dont wanna freeze our conversations. What should i do next? ask her for the movies, so we can be more closer or wait and keep the conversation routine? I know that i need to be myself but i usually ask too much post-date questions with some one i liked and things end up collapsing... I am planning to ask another girl for a date this weekend so i can stop worrying abt what comes next with the first one. Any advices ? How not to lose her ? How to stay wanted and desired in this game ? I am sorry about my bad English. Thank you
d0nnivain Posted September 8, 2018 Posted September 8, 2018 Your English is fine. Stop thinking you can build rapport or a relationship through text. You can't. The way to maintain her interest is keep up with regular dates. Be interesting & more importantly be interested in her. Really listen when she speaks. 1
Gretchen12 Posted September 8, 2018 Posted September 8, 2018 You should initiate more physical contact. After hand holding and/or arm around her, you should kiss her on the second or third date. If she responds well, go for french kiss. Then stop, end the date there and give her some time to process.
lovebitme Posted September 8, 2018 Posted September 8, 2018 Hello, I am back to the dating scene after many one night stand experiences. Got bored and tired of those experiences and i am convinced today that at my age, its time to build real connection with someone for a stable relationship. I'm not so sure it works that way. People meet and go on a dates. If there is chemistry they go on another date. I think the one night stand aspect is rather irrelevant. If you want a stable relationship try to choose people early on who fit your standards of what you want. If you meet some hot girl but you know it wouldn't work out long term then don't even date her. This helps you not waste time and focus your attention to more relationship worthy women.
smackie9 Posted September 8, 2018 Posted September 8, 2018 OK your conversation/messaging was BORING! Here's a tip: a lady likes to be desired. You should have told her something like, she looked ravishing last night, amazing or some compliment. Then tease her with a comment "hah you couldn't take your eye of me lol". Have some funny banter going to make it interesting and show that your interest is building. You need to be more spontaneous, relaxed, fun....and no more conversation about how she made it to the dentist. 1
Author N Sufjan Posted September 8, 2018 Author Posted September 8, 2018 OK your conversation/messaging was BORING! Here's a tip: a lady likes to be desired. You should have told her something like, she looked ravishing last night, amazing or some compliment. Then tease her with a comment "hah you couldn't take your eye of me lol". Have some funny banter going to make it interesting and show that your interest is building. You need to be more spontaneous, relaxed, fun....and no more conversation about how she made it to the dentist. I believe you are right... it s been 24hours since the date and its getting colder: boring conversation about our day routine. I complimented her smile and said thank you. I believe i am already facing what i was fearing and trying to avoid at the end date. I dont know how to bring back some action to this game. I am struggling here with my ego and with a girl i liked i might lose.
basil67 Posted September 8, 2018 Posted September 8, 2018 I agree with what has been said already. But unless there's actual reason for concern (dangerous neighbourhood/storms/inexperienced driver) I'd also ease off on the sending and expectation of receiving the "did you arrive safely?" messages. I think it's a mark of respect to assume our partner is competent enough to arrive at their destination safely. With this in mind, I like that she assumed you were quite able to get home safely and didn't need to check on you.
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