james0711 Posted September 6, 2018 Share Posted September 6, 2018 I'm a bit confused. Basically this girl was showing a lot of interest and even said she liked me, but when I asked her out she rejected me. Although I'm ready to move on from her, I'm just baffled to why she would show so much interest to the point she was acting like she wanted me to go talk to her. Link to post Share on other sites
ericw899 Posted September 7, 2018 Share Posted September 7, 2018 I'm a bit confused. Basically this girl was showing a lot of interest and even said she liked me, but when I asked her out she rejected me. Although I'm ready to move on from her, I'm just baffled to why she would show so much interest to the point she was acting like she wanted me to go talk to her. Define "showing interest". And just because she said she likes you, it doesn't mean it was in a romantic sense but more like a friendship. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted September 7, 2018 Share Posted September 7, 2018 I think there's a lot of misunderstanding sometimes because of the difference and how men and women think about being friendly. A lot of guys especially the younger they are, wouldn't even bother being friendly or being a friend to a girl unless they were romantically sexually attracted to them and hoping for something more, whereas women are perfectly content to be friends with both females and males on just a platonic level. they don't need to be physically attracted to you to accept you as a friend or be friendly and nice to you, but that doesn't mean they have any desire to have any physical relationship with you. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Zapbasket Posted September 7, 2018 Share Posted September 7, 2018 What Preraph said. Also, in what context did she say she "liked" you? If you asked her something along the lines of, "So, do you like me?", of course not knowing your intent behind the question she's just going to say yes, as in, "Yes, you seem like a nice person and I am enjoying talking with you." If you wanted to know whether she entertained romantic thoughts about you or thought she might in the future, you needed to communicate YOUR feelings towards her. As in, "Hey, you know, I really like you. I'd love to spend more time getting to know you. How about a date this weekend?" Only THEN will you get a better picture of how she feels towards you. I've gotten into trouble with men who take my friendliness for romantic interest when in fact that wasn't on my mind whatsoever where they were concerned. I tend to take a genuine interest in people I meet, but it's not necessarily because I want to become friends or certainly not because I want to date them all, just more curiosity that CAN turn to interest if what I learn about them intrigues me. A woman smiling and being friendly towards you does not mean she has romantic interest. It just means she is a friendly, open person with good social graces. I think many men are so anxious about being rejected by women that they can't get past the question, "Does she like me? Does she like me?", when interacting socially with a woman. And let me tell you that that kind of self-centered insecurity is really off-putting. And it ruins the opportunity to just have a pleasant social interaction. The more I sense a man runs on that kind of insecure spectrum, the more eager I am to curtail any interaction for fear of giving them ONE thing they could take as encouragement. Because with insecure men like that, often when they feel encouraged, they then come to feel entitled, and next thing you know you're faced with, "How dare you turn me down for a date?!?" Don't be that guy. Be clear about your interest and intentions, and when a woman is romantically interested in you, you will know. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted September 7, 2018 Share Posted September 7, 2018 What do you mean "showed interest"? Twirled her hair around her fingers? Touched your arm? That? That's being coquettish, not being interested. And she has every right to change her mind---just like you have every right to change your mind when someone that may have piqued your interest does/says something that drowns the interest and it's gone. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author james0711 Posted September 7, 2018 Author Share Posted September 7, 2018 I first met this girl a couple of months ago, when I use to see her on a train I use to catch. At first the interest came from her constantly staring at me. I started to notice she would stare at me when I wasn’t looking and whenever I caught her she would look away and blush. However, like you said I thought she was just being friendly and I was overthinking it. Anyway, after seeing her regularly I also started to notice she was always in close proximity to me. For instance, the train could be half empty, but she would still sit right beside me. So, in my mind I gathered she was somewhat interested and the best thing I could do now was to talk to her. Then, the day after I assumed she was interested I overheard her having a conversation with a friend of hers. They didn’t know I was near them, but their conversation was about me. The conversation was about her coming up and talking to me, but she was to shy to do so. So, after hearing this I decided I was going to talk to her the next day. However, the next few days she wasn’t on the train, but during those few days her friend came up and talked to me. She asked me whether I have noticed her friend (The girl I like) on the train and if I found her attractive. I said yes to both, which she then said I should ask her out. The day after I saw the girl, so I asked her out. I went up to her and said ‘Hey, I’ve noticed you around recently and I think you’re really pretty. I would really like to get to know you, so how about grabbing a coffee together this Friday. She then gave me her number, added me on social media to then only reject me. She said, although she really likes me, at this moment in time she had to say no. I was really confused, but I just let it be. Regarding rejection, I don’t mind it and every girl has the right to say no, but with this particular rejection I was baffled to why she did. She showed interest, which was confirmed by her friend, to only reject me. I was so confident she would say yes. Link to post Share on other sites
Garcon1986 Posted September 7, 2018 Share Posted September 7, 2018 The cruel reality of this business is that women will sometimes decide on a whim whether you are dating material or not without caring about what you have to offer, rather, judging you based on your first impression. The way to keep on moving while having the least emotional pain is to move on and keep making good impressions, and putting yourself out there. One girl rejected you, let her be meaningless to you, and don't ever ever try to ask for her attention again. The most powerful position of negotiation, is being able to say you are going to walk away from a deal, and mean it. Women sense weakness and unmanliness as clearly as dogs can find drugs at an international airport. Cut your losses and move on. Find a dude or a reliable friend girl, who will honestly tell you the reasons they think why you are not dateable. Then you have a rubric with which to improve yourself. That's the least painful of all the options to move forward with this. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author james0711 Posted September 7, 2018 Author Share Posted September 7, 2018 Like I said, I don't really mind rejection. I've been rejected before and I've moved on just fine. But, it's annoying because where I've asked out girls before and they've rejected me, I wasn't sure if they liked me or not before I asked. But with this girl it was even confirmed by her friend that she liked me so I was confident she was going to say yes. Regarding first impressions it might be the reason why she changed her mind, but why on earth would you give me your number, tell me you liked me, after I asked you out, to then reject. I've never been so confused over a girl. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted September 7, 2018 Share Posted September 7, 2018 I'm a bit confused. Basically this girl was showing a lot of interest and even said she liked me, but when I asked her out she rejected me. Although I'm ready to move on from her, I'm just baffled to why she would show so much interest to the point she was acting like she wanted me to go talk to her. girls always do this kind of mixed message stuff Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted September 7, 2018 Share Posted September 7, 2018 Maybe she saw something on your social media that put her off. Or maybe it has nothing to do with you personally. Who knows, she could have been on a break from a relationship and has since decided to hook back up with an ex or something. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted September 7, 2018 Share Posted September 7, 2018 Maybe she saw something on your social media that put her off. Or maybe it has nothing to do with you personally. Who knows, she could have been on a break from a relationship and has since decided to hook back up with an ex or something. or maybe he smelled? Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted September 7, 2018 Share Posted September 7, 2018 Look, sometimes girls have friends who meddle. When you overheard the conversation, I bet anything it was her friends saying she was too shy to talk to you and not her, but please correct me if I'm wrong and it was the girl who said "I'm too shy to talk to him" rather than her friend saying "Why don't you talk to him?" or "She won't talk to him because she's shy." And then it was her friend who approached you and told you she liked you. So unless you heard it from her own mouth, it may have all been cooked up by her friend. And the fact that her friend meddled may have made her decide she was at a disadvantage with you now and felt awkward. Or she might be dating someone or that might have been a no. I tend to sit by the safest and cleanest looking person on public transport so I don't appear to be alone and to keep someone unsavory from sitting by me. If you read what I wrote and realize you did not hear "I'm too shy" from her lips but only her friend's, then I would put two and two together and decide it is her friend who might be interested in you since she's who found an excuse to talk to you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author james0711 Posted September 7, 2018 Author Share Posted September 7, 2018 It was the girl I'm interested in was the one who said she was too shy to talk to me. I knew that because I heard her talk before and I recognised her voice. Plus, I was literally sitting right behind her. Basically, I overheard them talking about how the girl (the one I like) was interested in me. Her friend asked, ‘why don’t you go talk to him’ to which the girl I’m interested in replied ‘I’m too shy to ask, what if he doesn’t like me’. Then, a few days later her friend came and talked to me and said her friend (the one I like) was interested in me and whether I liked her. I said yes. Her friend told me the girl is too shy to ask, so I said I would ask her myself, which then led me to asking her out the next day Regarding whether she is dating someone I did ask her when I talked to her. Unless she was lying, she did say no. Also I would find it a bit strange if her friend told me she was interested in me, if she was dating someone else. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted September 8, 2018 Share Posted September 8, 2018 Well, I guess we can only conclude that she is too shy to go on a date, then. Too bad. But you know, we see people on LS once in awhile who are too shy to date. Who knows, maybe she'll keep seeing you and start functioning better. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted September 8, 2018 Share Posted September 8, 2018 Maybe start with just talking to her on the train, keep it casual, light. That might help her feel more comfortable with you. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
LuckyM Posted September 8, 2018 Share Posted September 8, 2018 What was her tone of voice? Polite or with feeling? Guys, including me, tend to over interpret comments and gestures by women. in our favor, flattering ourselves that she is into you. But it also depends on how you asked her out and exactly what you said. Did you ask her for dinner or what? A drink? That may be the whole issue here. Well, you could wait and try again with another approach. But if you are the type that is constantly getting rejected, let it go. Link to post Share on other sites
Author james0711 Posted September 8, 2018 Author Share Posted September 8, 2018 The problem is I know longer get the train, so I won't get the chance to talk to at least in person anyway. Link to post Share on other sites
Author james0711 Posted September 8, 2018 Author Share Posted September 8, 2018 I asked her out by saying ''Hey, I’ve noticed you around recently and I think you’re really pretty. I would really like to get to know you, so how about grabbing a coffee together this Friday'' When I said this to her she seemed genuinely happy and did not hesitate by giving me her number. But she then told me, although I really like you, at this moment in time I'll have to say no. Initially I was thinking of trying again later down the line. But I thought I've already let her know I'm interested in her, so if she's later interested she can get hold of me. Link to post Share on other sites
Versacehottie Posted September 8, 2018 Share Posted September 8, 2018 Personally if she was this shy, maybe she is young and inexperienced? I think sometimes girls in this category change their minds on a whim. They like you but are too scared to really move forward with anything. And when faced with the real possibility of dating/having a bf, they back off. Think about it like this she might be doing grade school/junior high type behavior even if she is 18 or 22, mainly because she is inexperienced, shy, immature or all three. I think you should go confidently on with your business. You are friends so continue to do that (social media wise) and if the moment seems right ask her out again. Good luck 1 Link to post Share on other sites
coolheadal Posted September 8, 2018 Share Posted September 8, 2018 I asked her out by saying ''Hey, I’ve noticed you around recently and I think you’re really pretty. I would really like to get to know you, so how about grabbing a coffee together this Friday'' When I said this to her she seemed genuinely happy and did not hesitate by giving me her number. But she then told me, although I really like you, at this moment in time I'll have to say no. Initially I was thinking of trying again later down the line. But I thought I've already let her know I'm interested in her, so if she's later interested she can get hold of me. Stay friends in a way try to learn more about her. Rushing to so much she had like you but still does. Saying no to going out can mean so much today. You never asked her if she was with someone else or seeing someone? Always find that out first before you attempt to ask them out. Less rejection blue face that way. Link to post Share on other sites
TheFinalWord Posted September 8, 2018 Share Posted September 8, 2018 Keep being friendly. In a few weeks, try one last time. If after that she says no, then you can keep being friendly, but don't go out of your way to talk to her and definitely don't ask her out again. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted September 8, 2018 Share Posted September 8, 2018 Keep being friendly. In a few weeks, try one last time. If after that she says no, then you can keep being friendly, but don't go out of your way to talk to her and definitely don't ask her out again. I don't agree with the being friends part Link to post Share on other sites
CollinW Posted September 9, 2018 Share Posted September 9, 2018 Sometimes women are more interested in the attention from men than the man himself. From now on just pretend like she doesn't exist. Don't do the pick me dance 1 Link to post Share on other sites
TheFinalWord Posted September 9, 2018 Share Posted September 9, 2018 I don't agree with the being friends part Being friendly, not friends lol I mean if he sees her on the bus, just say hi, don't act butthurt, but don't talk to her other than formalities. Link to post Share on other sites
Saracena Posted September 9, 2018 Share Posted September 9, 2018 Personally if she was this shy, maybe she is young and inexperienced? I think sometimes girls in this category change their minds on a whim. They like you but are too scared to really move forward with anything. And when faced with the real possibility of dating/having a bf, they back off. Think about it like this she might be doing grade school/junior high type behavior even if she is 18 or 22, mainly because she is inexperienced, shy, immature or all three. I think you should go confidently on with your business. You are friends so continue to do that (social media wise) and if the moment seems right ask her out again. Good luck Agree 100% 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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