conure Posted September 7, 2005 Posted September 7, 2005 I know, my problem is insignificant, I should deal with it alone and get a spine..But I need advice, I'm 19 years old and I've been with my girlfriend 2 years, for 3 years I've been friends with another girl, total friends, I gave up my friendship with this girl and cut down from seeing her nearly every other day, to twice in one year, I cut down because I knew it was a sacrifice I had to make for my relatinship with the girl I love. Now heres the 'drama', last night she left my house at 11pm saying she was tired, and wanted to go home to bed as she had to be up at 6am, she turned up this morning at 9am, and informed me that last night she went to another guys house, whom she met about 1 week ago, and has been contacting via MSN Messenger, I'm 90% sure nothing happened between them, as she claims they are just friends.. She was in bed with me when she told me this, and my only reply was 'go home. get out of my bed now' Then I sent her a text message informing her we were over, she replied saying 'How do you think I could ever love anybody but you?' I replied with 'Get a clue, piss off, and leave me alone.' Problem now is, I still love her, infact I threw up with anger/upset, I don't usually get upset, I'm in the armed forces and would consider myself strong minded. The problem I now face is, how can I forgive her, and how can I beat the urge to find this guy (I know where he works) And beat him within an inch of his life, for essentially, ruining my relationship.. Thanks, I'd appreciate any advice given.
upsetnhurt Posted September 7, 2005 Posted September 7, 2005 Conure, What did the guy do to you again that makes you want to beat him up? This issue is simply between you and your girlfriend. He did not hold a gun to her head and direct her to go to his house that night did he? She has a mind I hope and was very capable to do what she had wished. And let me tell you, please don't think that nothing happened. If she was there from 11 - 9....definitely something happened and you need to live with that assumption and make decisions based on it.
Author conure Posted September 7, 2005 Author Posted September 7, 2005 you're right, something probably did happen, and what did he do? he kept phoning her knowing she was with me, what better way to disrespect a guy? I'm a very aggresive person towards some aspects of life, never towards women, but the aggression comes from my line of work, I should keep it strictly for work, but now I think Id like it to crossover into my civilian line of work. Right, thats sorted, beat him within an inch of his life it is.
Author conure Posted September 7, 2005 Author Posted September 7, 2005 ugh, Look, I know thats not going to help me at all, but I don't know what to do, I was physically sick with upset, I know everybody goes through but what do I do, drink myself sick, continue punching the wall, they wont stop bleeding now...sit and meditate to cool off?
Candy Cane Posted September 7, 2005 Posted September 7, 2005 Well, if you say it's over then I guess it's over. I have guy friends and sometimes I hang out with them late at night. If I had a boyfriend I'd want him to trust me and to appreciate my honesty. And even if I did flirt with the idea of being with another man, the thing that would make me want to do it less is how secure he felt in our relationship. I really think that she gave you an opportunity to discuss your relationship on a deeper level and you blew it. You could have expressed concern and asked her why she felt the need to do that without getting angry and throwing her out. So long as you were nice about it, she probably would have told you the truth and perhaps you two could have grown in your relationship. So she did a dumb thing. People do dumb things for a lot of reasons. Perhaps she wanted to see how you would react...perhaps needed some reassuring. Perhaps she just wanted to spend time with another man so that she could reflect on her feelings for you. Personally, I think if anyone put the finishing touches on your relationship, it was you. Sorry.
Author conure Posted September 7, 2005 Author Posted September 7, 2005 My fault..okay, maybe it is, doesn't change the fact I do actually need some help as to what to do , but whatever, I'm sorry for wasting your time.
upsetnhurt Posted September 7, 2005 Posted September 7, 2005 You sound so much like my ex's prior ex. He blamed me for all of his misfortunes and when it comes down to it only wanted to beat me to a pulp in order to gain the attention of his girl.......your gf should be your primary target here as she was the one taking all those phone calls...she could have hung up on them or told him she was dating. Do yourself a favor and calm down and chill. The only place you are going to wind up if you continue is at the police station....you really want to ruin this great career you have over this? Be a man and deal with it as we all have too....you are not the only one out there going through this. When you calm down, talk to your gf and find out why she lied to you, went to this guys house so late at night........she must have been real tired if she didnt sleep with him cause if she went there at 11 and stayed up talking till 9......god I would be tired .
Candy Cane Posted September 7, 2005 Posted September 7, 2005 You're not wasting our time. Chill. What should you do? Calm down. Thank God for your blessings. Put a smile on your face and then call her up. Tell her to come over and discuss your relationship with her in a calm and caring manner. See what happens. Could it get any worse? Well, it could but probably not so long as you are kind and calm with you discuss things with her. What do you think of this idea?
Candy Cane Posted September 7, 2005 Posted September 7, 2005 You sound so much like my ex's prior ex. He blamed me for all of his misfortunes and when it comes down to it only wanted to beat me to a pulp in order to gain the attention of his girl.......your gf should be your primary target here as she was the one taking all those phone calls...she could have hung up on them or told him she was dating. Do yourself a favor and calm down and chill. The only place you are going to wind up if you continue is at the police station....you really want to ruin this great career you have over this? Be a man and deal with it as we all have too....you are not the only one out there going through this. When you calm down, talk to your gf and find out why she lied to you, went to this guys house so late at night........she must have been real tired if she didnt sleep with him cause if she went there at 11 and stayed up talking till 9......god I would be tired . Great minds think alike!!
pippen_2k Posted September 7, 2005 Posted September 7, 2005 Dont jump to conclusions just yet! Find out what happened first... Trust me you will know if she is telling the truth or lying... but the above post is right..acting insecure is a HUGE turn off. If nothing happened then its all cool, but if she did sleep with some other dude.. yeah go destory the MoFo! ha..
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