Normal or Lazy

[LostInLimbo]

Hi Everyone, been a long time since I have posted.... (49yrs of age)

 

I am dating a lady 47yrs of age and have been for approx 6yrs at first things seemed fine then as time went on it seems she has become lazy and doesn't care (my perception) I will try and sum it up in a nutshell

 

 

She gives me $250.00/Month (she works)

- I pay all the bills and Mortgage

 

- She will buy Groceries/pays for her own car and insurance

 

 

The thing I am going through and have been after several years even after confronting her many times is this.

 

 

Her routine is come home from work (days) has a shower sits and watches TV until its time for her to goto Bed (may do her laundry

 

I work Afternoons and in the day I am continuously cleaning up after her, I try not to but it will sit for days if I don't (eg. leaves dishes on the counter, or opened food packages placed aside for recycling, uses last bag of milk puts the empty bag back in fridge, combs hair left all over the toilet seat until I clean it.)

 

sorry for the long list, thats just some of the things I deal with, if I had to sum it up, doesn't like cleaning up after herself and gets mad at me when I even call her name with a sarcastic response, thinking I am going to ask her something or will watch me do the chores and or struggle with heavy things unless I ask

 

Im hoping for advice from the outside world

 

 

Thanks Everyone

 

 

LiL

Edited September 6, 2018 by LostInLimbo
Spacing

[smackie9]

She maybe at the start of menopause. I've been going through it for 6 years, and yes the house work has slid a lot because I have no energy, I feel like crap most of the time, and I'm just mentally numb from the lack of sleep. And yes menopause effects your moods. I have spells where I am just snippy due to the dips in hormones....comes in waves.

[LostInLimbo]

She maybe at the start of menopause. I've been going through it for 6 years, and yes the house work has slid a lot because I have no energy, I feel like crap most of the time, and I'm just mentally numb from the lack of sleep. And yes menopause effects your moods. I have spells where I am just snippy due to the dips in hormones....comes in waves.

 

 

Thanks Smackie9 glad a female actually answered as that thought never entered my mind

 

 

LiL

[smackie9]

Menopause can start as early as age 45, and Peri-menopause can start in the mid thirties. BUT if this has been going on since your time together, she's just a lazy slob or she is suffering from depression.

[d0nnivain]

She may be a lazy person who doesn't care about house work. I am like that. Dishes in the sink don't bother me. I'm not dirty but I'm not fastidious. If she has always been like this, it's not going to change. You either need to accept it, hire a house keeper or break up

[Happy Lemming]

Two Words...

 

"Chore Wheel"

[preraph]

Well, Ward, not everyone is June Cleaver. Especially working women.

 

Instead of making a big issue of it, ask her if she will chip in half to hire a maid to come in once a week or so to keep the house neat. On something like the hair on the sink, similar to leaving the toilet seat up, just mention that to her. Tell her, I'm not ragging on you, but hair on the sink grosses me out and I don't like to see it or touch it. Do you think you could just wipe up after you do your hair in there? And then tell her it's kind of like guys leaving the toilet seat up. No one but the guy should have to touch it.

 

But then if dirt is building up, just hire a maid once in awhile. It's better than fighting over it. Talk about that. Maybe if she knew a maid was coming to do the deep cleaning even once a month (mopping, sweeping) she would be willing to do more of the small stuff in between. Even once a month would be money well spent and cost you maybe $100-$150 depending where you live, how big your home.

[guest569]

How long were things fine at first?

 

I vote lazy. I don't know how she can live like this and expect you to do everything.