Jaimsie Posted September 4, 2018 Posted September 4, 2018 (edited) My girlfriend said a very strange thing to me today. The background is as follows. I'm a 39 year old man. She's 34. We met on Tinder 5 months ago. Four months into the relationship i did a despicable thing. I got drunk and visited a prostitute. Yes, I know it was despicable. Anyway, i immediately broke it off as i couldn't deal with the guilt. We were still talking after a few weeks so i felt the right thing to do was be completely honest and confess what i did. So i told her what i did. She said to come visit her and we can chat. So I have been here 3 days and she came out with this strange statement today: 'I want to have a baby by you whether we are together or not. you can still be part of the baby's life if we are not together and if you don't want to be part of the baby's life if you are gone before the child is three they wont miss you.' Now bear in mind i only know her 5 months and after 4 months i broke it off. What do people think of what she said???????? Edited September 4, 2018 by Jaimsie
BaileyB Posted September 4, 2018 Posted September 4, 2018 (edited) I think she is 34 years old, she wants to have a baby, and she has no other available prospects on the horizon... So, you are it. This is not a declaration of love and affection. It is a woman who is counting the candles on her birthday cake, and is desperate to have a child... She has NOT indicated that she wants to have a relationship with you. She has pretty much told you that you don't have to stay and be a part of the child's life. She has not said that she would not hold you financially responsible for this child. Only, that they wouldn't miss you if you left when the child is young. Do you want to have a child with a woman that you barely know and with whom you are not in a committed relationship? Do you want to potentially be financially responsible for this child for the next 18 years of your life? Think carefully about your answer... And, if you have sex with her again... wear a condom. Edited September 4, 2018 by BaileyB 3
Larry56 Posted September 4, 2018 Posted September 4, 2018 Woah... I guess she just thinks since you cheated you won't stick around. She wants to get knocked up by you cause she's all out of options 'there mate. Don't worry. The communist/socialist state will be the dad if you don't want to be. But seriously, I wouldn't go there if you're totally not interested. Let her find some average guy to settle down with. 1
preraph Posted September 5, 2018 Posted September 5, 2018 Oh, yes, you'll be financially responsible. If you can't live with knowing you snuck and saw a prostitute, you certainly can't live with knowing you have a child and aren't doing anything to contribute to its wellbeing. So don't do it unless you want a child and want to be in a child's life and can afford child support.
shellybing Posted September 5, 2018 Posted September 5, 2018 My girlfriend said a very strange thing to me today. The background is as follows. I'm a 39 year old man. She's 34. We met on Tinder 5 months ago. Four months into the relationship i did a despicable thing. I got drunk and visited a prostitute. Yes, I know it was despicable. Anyway, i immediately broke it off as i couldn't deal with the guilt. We were still talking after a few weeks so i felt the right thing to do was be completely honest and confess what i did. So i told her what i did. She said to come visit her and we can chat. So I have been here 3 days and she came out with this strange statement today: 'I want to have a baby by you whether we are together or not. you can still be part of the baby's life if we are not together and if you don't want to be part of the baby's life if you are gone before the child is three they wont miss you.' Now bear in mind i only know her 5 months and after 4 months i broke it off. What do people think of what she said???????? Well she could just want your sperm and be in her prime and prepared to raise a child on her own. Or she could just want to use a baby to get back at you. People can be vindictive like that. That is my only thought. I would personally think she's nuts for saying that, but getting preggo like that is alot less than finding a donor and a clinic.
RecentChange Posted September 5, 2018 Posted September 5, 2018 She wants to use you as a sperm donor.... Only, you wouldn't have any legal protections that a sperm donor would - you would be liable for child support, care of the child etc etc. To me, she sounds crazy.... Do not have sex with this woman unless you want to sign up for 18 years of child support. 1
ExpatInItaly Posted September 5, 2018 Posted September 5, 2018 She wants a baby and doesn't appear to care with whom. She's known you all of 5 months and is telling you she doesn't give a crap if you hang around or not. This is not a woman who thinks things through, in my opinion. Don't do it. There are too many serious risks with this request. Do not assume that she would not eventually take you to court for child support.
coolheadal Posted September 5, 2018 Posted September 5, 2018 My girlfriend said a very strange thing to me today. The background is as follows. I'm a 39 year old man. She's 34. We met on Tinder 5 months ago. Four months into the relationship i did a despicable thing. I got drunk and visited a prostitute. Yes, I know it was despicable. Anyway, i immediately broke it off as i couldn't deal with the guilt. We were still talking after a few weeks so i felt the right thing to do was be completely honest and confess what i did. So i told her what i did. She said to come visit her and we can chat. So I have been here 3 days and she came out with this strange statement today: 'I want to have a baby by you whether we are together or not. you can still be part of the baby's life if we are not together and if you don't want to be part of the baby's life if you are gone before the child is three they wont miss you.' Now bear in mind i only know her 5 months and after 4 months i broke it off. What do people think of what she said???????? Your just a sperm donor for her. What you said comes from a woman who wants to have a baby she won't trust you again because you cheated with a hoe who knows why you did that act. If I was you forget this woman as you will not be the one for her and you should just dump your sperm in her lap because she wants to make non-loving magical baby in her eye's. Unless you want her to pay for your sperm drop off that's up to you. Got real deal there if you know what I mean. Be careful with that one she's not on all fours just yet!
Author Jaimsie Posted September 5, 2018 Author Posted September 5, 2018 Thanks for the posts. They are interesting. One further piece of information : just 4 weeks after meeting her 5 months ago, she said one morning that she wanted to try for a baby 8 months later. She was very specific about the timing as she said it would suit her work schedule. I didn't think much of it at the time as we had only met just weeks earlier and thought she couldn't possibly be serious. Nothing was mentioned about a baby until now 4 months later. Remember we are only dating 5 months. What do people think of everything?
BaileyB Posted September 5, 2018 Posted September 5, 2018 (edited) Thanks for the posts. They are interesting. One further piece of information : just 4 weeks after meeting her 5 months ago, she said one morning that she wanted to try for a baby 8 months later. She was very specific about the timing as she said it would suit her work schedule. I didn't think much of it at the time as we had only met just weeks earlier and thought she couldn't possibly be serious. Nothing was mentioned about a baby until now 4 months later. Remember we are only dating 5 months. What do people think of everything? We told you what we think. She wants a baby, more than anything else... and, she is asking you to be the sperm donor. In my humble opinion, it shows poor judgment but it certainly shows you what her priorities are... BABY. She wants a baby badly enough to forgive your poor judgment and indescretion. But don’t kid yourself, you will probably be gone as soon as she gets pregnant. Then, your relationship with her is likely to be financial. RC was right - if you say yes to her plan, you will have none of the protections of a sperm donor... which means, the relationship may not last but you will be paying for this child for the next 18 years of your life... Edited September 5, 2018 by BaileyB
stillafool Posted September 5, 2018 Posted September 5, 2018 Why did you need a prostitute? What were you missing from the relationship that made you seek one?
BaileyB Posted September 5, 2018 Posted September 5, 2018 Indeed, there are drunken mistakes and then there is - "I got drunk and had sex with a prostitute!" No disrespect OP, but the fact that she is willing to "take you back" after this kind of "mistake" after only a few months of dating tells me how very desperate she is to have a baby... Her desire to have a baby seems to be overriding her better judgment.
kendahke Posted September 5, 2018 Posted September 5, 2018 'I want to have a baby by you whether we are together or not. you can still be part of the baby's life if we are not together and if you don't want to be part of the baby's life if you are gone before the child is three they wont miss you.' Now bear in mind i only know her 5 months and after 4 months i broke it off. What do people think of what she said???????? She can go to a sperm bank if this is all she wants out of a man. Hell, she can go hire a male prostitute if that's all she wants. The more important question is: what do YOU think of what she said? Now that she's tipped her hand, are you cool with a potential child somewhere in the world that you don't know about? That child isn't going to remain 3 yrs old in how he comes to understand the world and once old enough to figure out what you two have done, it could impact them negatively. Is that a chance you want to take with half of your dna? As to this situationship you're in: I can't see any good coming from continuing to be with her when she really wants a baby at all costs and could care less if it's you or someone else siring her offspring. I'd let this one go.
alphamale Posted September 5, 2018 Posted September 5, 2018 cut her loose, she's a whack-o nut case 1
kendahke Posted September 5, 2018 Posted September 5, 2018 Thanks for the posts. They are interesting. One further piece of information : Changes nothing anyone has said. Why are you so thirsty for this chick? 1
smackie9 Posted September 5, 2018 Posted September 5, 2018 Cray cray comes with other cray cray, which will make your life cray cray. You want nothing to do with cray cray? run the other way way. 1
Author Jaimsie Posted September 5, 2018 Author Posted September 5, 2018 To the poster who asked why did I visit a prostitute, the true answer is I don't know. There is never any excuse for such despicable behaviour. I am thoroughly ashamed of myself. I broke up with my girlfriend because of this and then confessed everything as I just had to be 100% honest. I guess I did what I did because one I have some underlying issues. I am a lonely person and don't really have friends. Another is that I was very very drunk and I have an enormous drink problem. They are not excuses. Just trying to explain. I don't know. But I know I will forever be ashamed of myself. On the subject of what this woman said, I think the overwhelming theme of poster's replies is that she is desperate for a baby and that I should be very careful . If anyone has any further impute please post it.
alphamale Posted September 5, 2018 Posted September 5, 2018 To the poster who asked why did I visit a prostitute, the true answer is I don't know. There is never any excuse for such despicable behaviour. I am thoroughly ashamed of myself. I broke up with my girlfriend because of this and then confessed everything as I just had to be 100% honest. I guess I did what I did because one I have some underlying issues. I am a lonely person and don't really have friends. Another is that I was very very drunk and I have an enormous drink problem. They are not excuses. Just trying to explain. I don't know. But I know I will forever be ashamed of myself. On the subject of what this woman said, I think the overwhelming theme of poster's replies is that she is desperate for a baby and that I should be very careful . If anyone has any further impute please post it. there is nothing wrong with visiting a prostitute
kendahke Posted September 5, 2018 Posted September 5, 2018 . If anyone has any further impute please post it. I'm curious as to what more input is needed for you to make a decision, or is that you're not here to make a decision but to talk about her plans? 2nd time asking: what do YOU think of what she's said to you?
Gaeta Posted September 5, 2018 Posted September 5, 2018 Thanks for the posts. They are interesting. One further piece of information : just 4 weeks after meeting her 5 months ago, she said one morning that she wanted to try for a baby 8 months later. She was very specific about the timing as she said it would suit her work schedule. I didn't think much of it at the time as we had only met just weeks earlier and thought she couldn't possibly be serious. Nothing was mentioned about a baby until now 4 months later. Remember we are only dating 5 months. What do people think of everything? It's crazy and I am not sure what other answers you are hoping for. Give her the address of a sperm bank.
Author Jaimsie Posted September 5, 2018 Author Posted September 5, 2018 What I think is that it is a crazy thing for her to say. It's bizarre. I think she has only one thing on her mind. How could anybody say such a thing just months after meeting someone? I came here just to get some third party opinions. Thanks
kendahke Posted September 5, 2018 Posted September 5, 2018 What I think is that it is a crazy thing for her to say. It's bizarre. I think she has only one thing on her mind. How could anybody say such a thing just months after meeting someone? I came here just to get some third party opinions. Thanks And you said this to her, right? What was her response?
Author Jaimsie Posted September 5, 2018 Author Posted September 5, 2018 Yep. I said it was a crazy thing to say. And she just replied no it wasn't a crazy thing to say. There was no long chat. Anyway I have made up my mind.She only wants one thing, a baby. She is so desperate for one at 34 that she doesn't really care if the father is around or around or not. It was a bizarre thing to say. I think her hormones and age are dictating to her. I should extricate my self from this potentially very messy situation. All agree??????
Author Jaimsie Posted September 5, 2018 Author Posted September 5, 2018 And for her to say it is not crazy just demonstrates how crazy she is. She doesn't even realise the madness of what she said. Best to dodge this bullet 1
Orokotikki Posted September 5, 2018 Posted September 5, 2018 Yep. I said it was a crazy thing to say. And she just replied no it wasn't a crazy thing to say. There was no long chat. Anyway I have made up my mind.She only wants one thing, a baby. She is so desperate for one at 34 that she doesn't really care if the father is around or around or not. It was a bizarre thing to say. I think her hormones and age are dictating to her. I should extricate my self from this potentially very messy situation. All agree?????? Seconded. Be careful if you don't extricate yourself could get worse - I once had woman warn if I waited to long to marry her she would "Trick me into getting [her] pregnant". I was 21 and she was 35 or so. It honestly never occurred to me before that, that there was a risk someone might do so. So... just saying that may occur to them if she changes her tune and wants to make it work or something similar and appears to drop the baby issue. P.S. Don't worry that relationship didn't last and I didn't get her preggo.
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