coolheadal Posted September 10, 2018 Posted September 10, 2018 New girlfriend, everything seemed to be going well until last weekend when we ordered a lunch item to share. The waitress offered another plate which I accepted, then I proceeded to put a portion of food onto it. The new girlfriend got upset that we didn't share the same plate. Her logic was that it showed that we weren't a couple and I explained that it was a matter of convenience and I couldn't possibly imagine someone getting upset for something like that. As the discussion (or argument) progressed, I said she shouldn't be upset over something this silly. She responded by telling me not to tell her what to do with with such an angry look in her eyes. I was totally disappointed in what I thought was a promising relationship, this incident took me totally by surprise. Any thoughts out there on a decision to end this relationship now? Clear case of toxic woman, she has anger issues and you just triggered it by a simple additional plate. She's bipolar (sudden burst of anger) high strung also. What would happen to you if you continue to date her. More of the same could lead her becoming more aggressive in behavior. She could hit you or use harsh verbal rude attacks. She already said "not to tell her what do" Plus you see how the anger eyes looked. Boy your in for a roller coaster ride into the unknown. I have such a relationship myself I like to see where it can lead and where it can end up with. I've known so much about such a woman. If your not a strong man or confident one you might want to let this one go. Because I have enough advise to say it just won't be easy to live with such a woman on a daily bases. But the bright side is you could if she really loves you enough if you get to that point. Oh yes one more thing they like to do is blame you for everything under the sun.
MaleIntuition Posted September 10, 2018 Posted September 10, 2018 Argh. No idea why this thread is still going on (or for the matter why I feel a strong desire to add nuances to this). OP. Never. Said. She. Got. Angry. About. The. Plate. She got upset about the initial disagreement which was probably rooted in a a much deeper feeling that she wanted OP to show her more affection in public ie. she was insecure about the status of their relationship. She got angry because op neglected her feelings and used Logic to explain why her feelings where wrong: that would piss off a lot of people, especially feelers. Anyway; what happend?
smackie9 Posted September 10, 2018 Posted September 10, 2018 I would love to hear from the OP as to what has happened since he posted this thread.
Author cre8r Posted September 10, 2018 Author Posted September 10, 2018 I would love to hear from the OP as to what has happened since he posted this thread. We're long distance (about 1.5 hours away when we meet in the middle) and we've only communicated by texts since our last meetup. As some of your posts have mentioned, I think there's something more at play there. My guess is that she's trying to express her desire for a serious relationship, as I might appear nonchalant about it. Up until the plate incident I really enjoyed spending time with her and thought the relationship looked promising. Although I haven't verbally expressed anything romantic-like, I thought we were having a pretty good time. I really felt bad about the plate incident as she rushed into the restroom crying. However I can't get over that angry look she had in her eyes. We had another day to spend together after that with no incidents. That was a week ago and it's all been minimal texts since then, to date neither of us has mentioned anything about meeting up since. But I'm guessing she plans on meeting again since she forgot a few items she left in my hotel room. I'll update any progress. Thanks all for inquiring. 2
thefooloftheyear Posted September 10, 2018 Posted September 10, 2018 We're long distance (about 1.5 hours away when we meet in the middle) and we've only communicated by texts since our last meetup. As some of your posts have mentioned, I think there's something more at play there. My guess is that she's trying to express her desire for a serious relationship, as I might appear nonchalant about it. Up until the plate incident I really enjoyed spending time with her and thought the relationship looked promising. Although I haven't verbally expressed anything romantic-like, I thought we were having a pretty good time. I really felt bad about the plate incident as she rushed into the restroom crying. However I can't get over that angry look she had in her eyes. We had another day to spend together after that with no incidents. That was a week ago and it's all been minimal texts since then, to date neither of us has mentioned anything about meeting up since. But I'm guessing she plans on meeting again since she forgot a few items she left in my hotel room. I'll update any progress. Thanks all for inquiring. She actually ran to the restroom and cried over this??? Dude....You don't want that type of a woman...I mean, I feel kind of bad for her, but there is no way I could navigate that ...I can only imagine what else she'd fall apart over...Like maybe she'll make you dinner and you don't like onions and she'll throw all the food out the window and lock herself in the bedroom...No effing way... TFY 3
smackie9 Posted September 10, 2018 Posted September 10, 2018 Thanks for the update. What I see is a horrific lack of ability to communicate.....that's not good. I suggest you have a conversation about what had happen and discuss where everyone stands/expectations, etc. If she can't be an adult about it, then it's not really going to work.
alphamale Posted September 10, 2018 Posted September 10, 2018 She actually ran to the restroom and cried over this??? Dude....You don't want that type of a woman...I mean, I feel kind of bad for her, but there is no way I could navigate that ...I can only imagine what else she'd fall apart over...Like maybe she'll make you dinner and you don't like onions and she'll throw all the food out the window and lock herself in the bedroom...No effing way... TFY that sounds like my ex-wife
Lotsgoingon Posted September 10, 2018 Posted September 10, 2018 Thanks for the update OP. This thread has legs, I think, because we've all been there ... out ... with someone and then boom ... we get the crazies thrown at us ... the first instinct is often to minimize ... to think you missed something ... you misinterpreted something ... But every time I have ignored early on crazy ... I paid the price later on ... and often not too much later on. So I think I'm working out all those initial crazy moments that one randomly experiences in dating. Reminds me of another thread that got huge feedback. A woman wrote about her bf ... She had told her bf that he didn't need to visit her on Christmas Day when she was with her family about an hour away. Then she got mad at him for not over-ruling her and insisting on a visit. This thread reminds me of that one.
preraph Posted September 11, 2018 Posted September 11, 2018 Oh, come on, she CRIED???? I'm sorry, she's a crazy little drama queen who is verrrry immature. I'd run if anyone even mentioned Disney on an earlyish date because I've seen how nutty some of the arrested development Disney nuts can be. 1
guest569 Posted September 11, 2018 Posted September 11, 2018 So, the plate is your long distance relationship. She wants to share it with you and become closer to you but you think that her feelings are silly. How long have you been together?
Logo Posted September 11, 2018 Posted September 11, 2018 Ok. Time out. You mentioned hotel room. Is it possible she feels that you guys are just meeting for the sex? ARE you having sex every time you meet midway? Perhaps she feels used and it’s been building up. I’m not discounting the fact that she could simply be melodramatic, but maybe it’s an opportunity to pause and try to see things from her perspective. Like it’s been mentioned, the plate issue could be her way of communicating her feelings. Still, it’s not a healthy or mature way to express them. You two should be having open and candid conversations with each other, not guessing what the other person feels.
Author cre8r Posted September 13, 2018 Author Posted September 13, 2018 Ok. Time out. You mentioned hotel room. Is it possible she feels that you guys are just meeting for the sex? ARE you having sex every time you meet midway? Perhaps she feels used and it’s been building up. I’m not discounting the fact that she could simply be melodramatic, but maybe it’s an opportunity to pause and try to see things from her perspective. Like it’s been mentioned, the plate issue could be her way of communicating her feelings. Still, it’s not a healthy or mature way to express them. You two should be having open and candid conversations with each other, not guessing what the other person feels. She's really enjoyed the sex from the get-go, sometimes I wonder if that's all she's in for. But we have a good time outside the bedroom as well. But as you mentioned, she could be hinting that she wants to take the relationship to a new level. As for the plate incident, I went above and beyond trying to communicate and explain that it wasn't anything negative from my perspective. I wasn't discounting her feelings by saying it was something silly to get upset over, the intent was to reassure her that we're good, what more could I do?
smackie9 Posted September 13, 2018 Posted September 13, 2018 She's really enjoyed the sex from the get-go, sometimes I wonder if that's all she's in for. But we have a good time outside the bedroom as well. But as you mentioned, she could be hinting that she wants to take the relationship to a new level. As for the plate incident, I went above and beyond trying to communicate and explain that it wasn't anything negative from my perspective. I wasn't discounting her feelings by saying it was something silly to get upset over, the intent was to reassure her that we're good, what more could I do? Sounds to me that isn't what she wanted to hear.......and it went over your head. She expects you to read her mind and just KNOW she wants some kind of exclusivity. Man up and talk to her about it. 1
bathtub-row Posted September 13, 2018 Posted September 13, 2018 I’ll say it again - the whole incident was ridiculous and just a preview of more to come. Sit back and watch the show. 2
preraph Posted September 13, 2018 Posted September 13, 2018 I would run so fast from that kind of shenanigans. Just over nothing. Can't even imagine how she'd deal with a real actual problem. 1
preraph Posted September 14, 2018 Posted September 14, 2018 For those who still think this is okay, imagine for a moment if it had been him instead of her that did this. Threw a hissy fit that she didn't eat off his plate because of a Disney movie and then he ran to the bathroom crying. Is that okay? 2
smackie9 Posted September 15, 2018 Posted September 15, 2018 For those who still think this is okay, imagine for a moment if it had been him instead of her that did this. Threw a hissy fit that she didn't eat off his plate because of a Disney movie and then he ran to the bathroom crying. Is that okay? Ya but women are so emotional, just the way it is. No comparison.
preraph Posted September 16, 2018 Posted September 16, 2018 ^ Okay. Men just show emotion differently. Let me fix it. So for those who still think this is okay, imagine for a moment if it had been him instead of her that did this. Threw a hissy fit that she didn't eat off his plate because of a Disney movie, and then ran to his car, slamming the door, peeled out and didn't say a word the rest of the trip home. Is that okay? This heifer has mad cow disease. 1
guest569 Posted September 16, 2018 Posted September 16, 2018 I don't think the behaviour is ok. I just don't know if I would break up with someone over the first argument. OP keeps referring to the furious look in her eyes though, and I'll take his word that it was unsettling and rings alarm bells, enough to consider an evacuation plan. How are you doing OP?
preraph Posted September 16, 2018 Posted September 16, 2018 I don't think the behaviour is ok. I just don't know if I would break up with someone over the first argument. OP keeps referring to the furious look in her eyes though, and I'll take his word that it was unsettling and rings alarm bells, enough to consider an evacuation plan. How are you doing OP? Yes, the fury in her eyes. She wasn't just pouting and putting on being offended. She was actually completely furious with him. Cra-cra.
shellybing Posted September 16, 2018 Posted September 16, 2018 If she cannot express her feelings in a rational manner and explain them for what they are, he doesn't have to give an answer or explanation to anything. People are not psychics. 1
Author cre8r Posted September 16, 2018 Author Posted September 16, 2018 I don't think the behaviour is ok. I just don't know if I would break up with someone over the first argument. OP keeps referring to the furious look in her eyes though, and I'll take his word that it was unsettling and rings alarm bells, enough to consider an evacuation plan. How are you doing OP? Still haven't meet up but still texting at a minimum. My inclination is to overlook the situation and give it another chance. Also aware that I need to tread with caution, thank you for asking. 1
d0nnivain Posted September 16, 2018 Posted September 16, 2018 Since you are willing to continue trying to make this work, send her some flowers. The clichés work.
MidwestUSA Posted September 16, 2018 Posted September 16, 2018 Since you are willing to continue trying to make this work, send her some flowers. The clichés work. Flowers? Nah. Take her out for spaghetti and get it right this time. 2
thefooloftheyear Posted September 16, 2018 Posted September 16, 2018 Flowers? Nah. Take her out for spaghetti and get it right this time. And bring matching Mickey/Minnie Mouse ears for the event...:laugh: TFY 5
Recommended Posts