ExpatInItaly Posted September 8, 2018 Posted September 8, 2018 But is it cringworthy if I'm not asking for another chance or expressing my love or affection for her. How come my friends are saying the letter is a good idea? Good heavens, yes. Do not send that letter. Your friends are probably not bold enough to tell you that it will make you look desperate. But it will. She is not interested in you anymore. Writing a letter is not going to help your cause. It's also a pretty arrogant assumption that she broke up with you and went though with it because she didn't know what she wanted. You don't know her mind better than she does, OP. Just because you don't agree with her decision does not mean she is confused. She seems anything but, to be honest. Look, you want to portray yourself as confident, yeah? This letter will have exactly the opposite effect and will probably do nothing more than make her pity you and roll her eyes. I don't mean to be harsh, but I don't want you to make a fool out of yourself. 2
Author CubaSleeve Posted September 8, 2018 Author Posted September 8, 2018 Good heavens, yes. Do not send that letter. Your friends are probably not bold enough to tell you that it will make you look desperate. But it will. She is not interested in you anymore. Writing a letter is not going to help your cause. It's also a pretty arrogant assumption that she broke up with you and went though with it because she didn't know what she wanted. You don't know her mind better than she does, OP. Just because you don't agree with her decision does not mean she is confused. She seems anything but, to be honest. Look, you want to portray yourself as confident, yeah? This letter will have exactly the opposite effect and will probably do nothing more than make her pity you and roll her eyes. I don't mean to be harsh, but I don't want you to make a fool out of yourself. She's the type of girl that takes everything to heart, I know someone who has said mean things to her, eventually she forgave this person quitter quickly. Knowing her as well as I do, a letter would make her cry, even though it's not about asking for a chance. I would call her and say the below, but she said she's not ready to hear my voice yet, and man text is meangless these days. A few friends think it is a non-invasive, respectful and thoughtful gesture; the mere fact that I'm have gone through this process in itself will show her a great deal about me as a man. In the letter I'm going to say that I actually agree with her decision, as for some reason she wanted to end it. She was pretty adamant that she didn't fully no why, but was adamant that her gut told her that something wasn't right. After all, she'll know more than me. I'm going to tell her that it's a shame we didn't try having a break, as that may have helped us as it's something we never tried before. Then I'll mention about how London went. Then end it with saying that I understand she needs space or to talk
ExpatInItaly Posted September 8, 2018 Posted September 8, 2018 Go ahead if you insist. Just don't say we didn't try to warn you. 1
Author CubaSleeve Posted September 11, 2018 Author Posted September 11, 2018 Hi everyone, I thought I would give an update. So yesterday after telling my ex how my trial in London went (as she said she wanted to know). She opened up to me and said "I’ve been finding the last few days it’s taken a lot of willpower to not send you a message, and wanting to know what you’re doing". I told her to do what makes her happy, if she wants to message, then do it. In other news, I sent her a letter. Once I wrote it, I realised that I actually performed actions in the relationship that probably made her feel neglected some what and unrespected. This is it. When we first met, I said from the start that I was like no other guy you would ever meet, but unfortunately later in in the relationship, I became I guy that even I had never met before. While you opened up your life to me, giving me a chance to meet the important people in it, I never did that. Theres no excuse for it, you must of thought I was ashamed of you, not wanting to show you to my friends and social circles. You mentioned several times about doing something with my friends, but I didn't act on it, you must of felt ignored, which is one of the worse things to feel. It may have saddened you, I know reflecting on it has saddened me. I became dependant on you. This letter isn't to try and get you to change your mind, I just want to say some things that may help you process it all. You looked to me for support at times, telling you everything would be find when events or upcoming occasions could potentially test us. But instead of being that strong pillar of support, I lost my emotional control, first thought being "will we last". You must have felt suffocated and smothered by my actions, asking about how you felt towards me, seeking validation, and becoming codependent, when I should have showed independence and confidence in whatever came our way. You probably questioned yourself if I was the man you wanted and needed in your life. I was questioning your affection which must made you feel hurt. I questioned what you were doing on nights out, you must of been asking yourself "why can't this guy trust me when I've put all my trust in him". Many times I focused solely on the future, the unknown, and if I could survive away from you, instead of focusing on what was important; the present with you, spending time seeing my friends and involving you with them. I abused your trust. Times where you felt targeted or felt that you were being blamed, I should have stuck up for you, defending your kind nature and how you would never hurt someone, but instead that night in shining armour you once knew disappeared. You were hurt, and I should have been in your corner, fighting for and defending you. You still stayed with me for so long, despite seeing the guy you liked and felt feelings for become a different guy than that you first met. You must of disliked me when I refused to let things end when you wanted to end things, I came across as making you doubt yourself and I wouldn't blame you if you thought that.
ExpatInItaly Posted September 12, 2018 Posted September 12, 2018 I suppose all you can do is wait and see if and how she replies to that
Ddog Posted September 12, 2018 Posted September 12, 2018 Well i think it's a good introspection of yourself at least! I'm not sure if it could change her mind but you showed that you grown up for your time apart and she told you that part of her missed you. Because of that you're lucky that the timing with your letter was good. Most of the time when you send those type of letter you look needy but because she told you she miss talking to you it's another thing. You pass from needy to the good guy that wanted to make it work and took the time apart to do thing that will help himself in the future. Still i got no idea what she will say about this but let see.
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