jake2495 Posted September 3, 2018 Posted September 3, 2018 not sure this is the right place but still, so this weekend went to a party with my friend, we are a boy and a girl friendship and have always been very close nothings ever happened before anyway, got drunk and we had sex, if this had been it would of been fine. however we then woke up the next day and had sex again, she said that shes thought of it for a while and wanted it. does this make it easier for us to slip into this again, will it be strange when we hang out again, in peoples experience can we keep being friends?
BaileyB Posted September 3, 2018 Posted September 3, 2018 Are you sure she wants to be friends? Or does she want to date you?
Author jake2495 Posted September 3, 2018 Author Posted September 3, 2018 ive only ever wanted to be friends, yeah ive thought about sex with her but never wanted to act on it, well not sober anyway
BaileyB Posted September 3, 2018 Posted September 3, 2018 ive only ever wanted to be friends, yeah ive thought about sex with her but never wanted to act on it, well not sober anyway Well then, you shouldn't have slept with her. If she wants to date, it's going to be hard to go back to being "just friends" now that you've seen each other naked... If she thought this was the next step toward a romantic relationship, she's probably going to be pretty upset... If she is agreeable to being FWB, you may get a bit more time... But, chances are that your friendship will end when one of you finds someone else to date.
preraph Posted September 3, 2018 Posted September 3, 2018 So you had thought about sex with her and now you've done it and you're friends. I'm just curious why you don't want to just date and have an exclusive relationship with her. Not as attractive or something?
BluBell Posted September 4, 2018 Posted September 4, 2018 Of course it will change your friendship. You both clearly have deeper feelings for each other or this wouldn't have happened- can't blame alcohol for every mistake. The question is, why don't you want something more with her? Friendship and sex are a great start to a relationship...
snowboy91 Posted September 4, 2018 Posted September 4, 2018 In my experience there are never any hard and fast rules with this. That being said, most of the time one (or even both) of you will develop feelings for the other. If you want to remain friends with her, the first question you need to ask is of yourself. Can you be comfortable remaining friends even though you've had sex? Could you see yourself wanting to again? Next you need to find out where your friend is at. Does she want a relationship? Would she be comfortable just being friends or will she find it frustrating to be friend zoned, knowing she won't be able to sleep with you again? If you both want this to remain a friendship then it's definitely possible. It might feel weird the first few times but you'll settle into a pattern. The problem is that it's unlikely she will want to keep it as a friendship. You won't know for certain unless you discuss this with her.
KatCha Posted September 9, 2018 Posted September 9, 2018 If A LOT, and I mean A LOT, of time has passed, I could probably be friends with a crush of mine who didn't want me after screwing me, as long as we parted on good terms and he had let me down easy...otherwise, nope-no chance in H-E-double hockey sticks would I want to hang around with him again. It completely depends on how deep the waters run for each of you in this situation. And how it gets handled. While you are not responsible for her feelings, you call yourself a friend, so if you truly are one, you will have her best interests at heart and she will be considerate of how you feel as well. If nothing meshes there, if you talk with her about what you want or how you feel about the situation, and leave her assuming, the friendship could be lost. Since you seem to know exactly what you want--being friends--if you want to indeed, stay her friend in the future, I would suggest letting her know, in no uncertain terms, what you would like things to be like between the two of you now. Expect she may have deeper feelings and if you are not on-board for more, then simply, but kindly tell her the truth. It is kind of hard to not respect someone's honest opinion. It doesn't mean you do not care, it simply means that you like her, appreciate her friendship, had a nice time, but value a friendship more with her.
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