Chloefrost Posted September 3, 2018 Posted September 3, 2018 Or in a relationship itself. I'm just wondering, because sometimes, I think that I should not be dating or ever in a relationship again. Because I've done some preeeetty crazy stuff in a few breakups.. Usually though, I realise the triggers are when the SO screws up, begs for forgiveness, does the same thing, swears never again, wash repeat, and I'd be a doormat up until I can't take it anymore, and I...well. Explode. For e.g., when I found out my ex-husband had cheated and was leaving me, wow. I definitely lost it. I actually *wince* screamed, "I'm going to KILL you!" and after a bit more fighting, started throwing stuff in his direction. Only saving grace - did not aim any to hit him. But man, I even broke a ceramic cup I really liked. Things like this make me think that if being in a relationship can drive me that crazy, perhaps I shouldn't ever be in one. Not a proper one, anyway. Just wondering... how crazy have you gone when you found out your partner cheated, or some other rage-inducing stuff happened?
ExpatInItaly Posted September 3, 2018 Posted September 3, 2018 Honestly? I don't explode and rage when I am angry. I go ice cold and cut the person off. And yes, I have had good reason to lose my mind, including infidelity. It's just not in me. I prefer to employ the Vladimir Putin-Stare of Calculated and Unnerving Calm. 2
guest569 Posted September 3, 2018 Posted September 3, 2018 Do you ever go into violent rages in other areas of life? I don't think this is OK. No I've never done that. You can learn to manage anger in a safer way
preraph Posted September 3, 2018 Posted September 3, 2018 This was in no way a serious relationship or hardly a relationship, but I had helped this guy I'd gone out with in another state a time or two when he moved to town and his truck was in the shop. I had seen his girlfriend out at a gig in another state we just both happened to be at, so I knew he had one. But I also knew they had a lot of drama with him trying to duck her and stuff. They were both still young enough to have a lot of drama. So after he got settled in his new apartment in my town, his friends were ratting him out to me about one thing or another. But then I'm home one day and his girlfriend calls my phone, which was unlisted and she could only have gotten the number from him. It was before Caller ID. It was just at the beginning of when you could forward calls somewhere else but there was no Caller ID. So she called me. I had a scary King Diamond song on my answering machine (a horror music artist), so she left a message calling me psycho, etc. So I forwarded my phone to his apartment so that the next time she called, he'd answer the phone and she'd assume he was at my house. Then of course I blew him off. He kept calling me and had a hard time figuring out what was going on.
Author Chloefrost Posted September 4, 2018 Author Posted September 4, 2018 Vladimir Putin-Stare of Calculated and Unnerving Calm. Ahhhh. Now this is something I should learn, ExpatinItaly. Do you ever go into violent rages in other areas of life? Nah. Just in relationships. Of course I know it's not acceptable behavior, hence my current decision to not date until my emotional regulation strategies have improved. I'm just wondering if anyone else has rage modes especially when it comes to repeated lies and infidelity. So I forwarded my phone to his apartment so that the next time she called, he'd answer the phone and she'd assume he was at my house. OMG this is BRILLIANT.
ExpatInItaly Posted September 4, 2018 Posted September 4, 2018 Vladimir Putin-Stare of Calculated and Unnerving Calm. Ahhhh. Now this is something I should learn, ExpatinItaly. It is something I didn't even realize I did, until an ex pointed it out. He'd done something that knew was really going to upset me, and when he came out with it, all I could do was stare at him until he said something like, "Why are you sitting there staring at me like Vladimir Putin on the cover of Time??!" I had to google that specific Time magazine cover to see what he was talking about (he was Person of the Year, no less) and it was spot-on. He said later the icy glare and lack of any other reaction unsettled him and threw him off. Can't say I wasn't pleased to hear that.
alphamale Posted September 4, 2018 Posted September 4, 2018 I gave this woman oral sex and made her orgasm. Right after I broke up with her. For some reasons she wanted to have a baby with me and I was like F**K that!!
Author Chloefrost Posted September 5, 2018 Author Posted September 5, 2018 It is something I didn't even realize I did, until an ex pointed it out. He'd done something that knew was really going to upset me, and when he came out with it, all I could do was stare at him until he said something like, "Why are you sitting there staring at me like Vladimir Putin on the cover of Time??!" I had to google that specific Time magazine cover to see what he was talking about (he was Person of the Year, no less) and it was spot-on. He said later the icy glare and lack of any other reaction unsettled him and threw him off. Can't say I wasn't pleased to hear that. I GOOGLED THAT IMAGE HAHAHAHAHA. omg it's really an icy death stare. I think you should be proud of it! I'mma practice in the mirror
Arieswoman Posted September 5, 2018 Posted September 5, 2018 Chloefrost, When I found out that my exH was cheating I smacked him in the mouth a couple of times hard. I never did that again to anyone because a) they weren't worth the effort, and b) it hurt my hand. So when a guy I was in a relationship with admitted he was cheating I just calmly told him to put his clothes on and get out. (The fact that he told me after the sex and not before only reinforced what a selfish a-hole he was ) 1
fromheart Posted September 5, 2018 Posted September 5, 2018 To answer that question, I think you have to imagine if it were the man throwing stuff at you threatening to kill you. In this hypothetical situation you would be wrong to cheat on him, but his behavior would put him in jail whereas yours wouldn't. If your threatening to take someones life and throwing objects that could cause injury, you need some anger counseling before entering into an intimate relationship.
fromheart Posted September 5, 2018 Posted September 5, 2018 Chloefrost, When I found out that my exH was cheating I smacked him in the mouth a couple of times hard. I never did that again to anyone because a) they weren't worth the effort, and b) it hurt my hand. [/quote Hitting someone is a criminal assault, and could result with you being prosecuted. Your ex was wrong for cheating on you, but you assaulting him was just as bad.
Dis Posted September 6, 2018 Posted September 6, 2018 Honestly? I don't explode and rage when I am angry. I go ice cold and cut the person off. And yes, I have had good reason to lose my mind, including infidelity. It's just not in me. I prefer to employ the Vladimir Putin-Stare of Calculated and Unnerving Calm. I'm like this too I'm normally a very warm, affectionate, loving person but once I'm hurt enough, I shut off like a switch. I go completely cold. I've never done anything crazy during or after a break up. I'm too over it to care anymore. I've always grieved the loss of my past relationships while still in them. I always broke up with my ex's in a very respectful manner (even though they didn't deserve it) packed up their stuff for them, arranged a time for them to pick it up while I wasn't there (usually 2-3 days after the break up) and never spoke to them again. I'm grateful my mind works like this. I kept my side of the street clean while they tried to grovel to get back with me. Nope. Bye.
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