james53sj Posted September 3, 2018 Posted September 3, 2018 james53sj online Registered User Join: about 2 hours ago Posts: 2 6 minutes ago · #2 I'll try to leave this short. girl has a ****ty past...but so do I and I'm faithful to her. she is into women and I enjoy girl on girl so she set guidelines if another couple present and we are messing around she doesnt touch the guy and I dont touch other girl. basically the guys watch the girls do their thing. well fast forward my best friend and his girlfriend come to our house. we all hang out a few times. and I say to my ol lady you have a crush on him she denied it all together. either way I trusted them both especially her cause she seems crazy about me, and they both said nothing like that would ever happen. he admitted to being attracted to her but it was no big deal...well we are hanging out couple months before mine and her wedding. drinking involved. and friend mentions us watching girl on girl thing I said yeah. and went to garage. then wife comes out and asks me if we can swing and just swap off. I told her I really dont know how I feel about that. I've tried before (before her)and it was to uncomfortable. and I was so appalled that she would even ask that and suggest I screw another girl. she gets jealous of a girl takes a second look at me goes through my phone constantly and anytime I go out alone she thinks I'm messing around on her. so I said I dont know and went outside. came back and talked to her and she just kept on and on about it so I agreed frustratingly (and honestly to see how it played out, how far she would go) then friend asked me and i said yeah sure that's fine. but he knew I was uncomfortable cause he asked are you sure several times...I trusted my wife and even though she asked I figured she would have thought about it and saw my unsureness (and the fact we were soon getting married) in this and wouldnt do it she was in my position in a 3 way before with an ex of eight years and same stuff happened to her and she left him over it so she knows how messed up it can be. so it's all happening wife starts with other girl then comes to me...I'm uncomfortable so I cant get it up then wife says well i dont care who it is I want a ****...I stood in the corner and she looked at me while getting ****ed she told other girl to suck my ****..friends girl came over tried to suck my **** I pushed her off said I cant and left. my girl comes out and gets mad, and shes mad that we didn't DP her and frustrated and said "so your just gunna hold this over my head" and just quits talking to me and we lay on living room floor. so after all this I pushed her and my friend away. they both told me there would never be anything like that wife said she never desired another man (ehich I know is untrue its human nature) but that i was all she wanted and both kept begging even though they saw I was unsure and appalled. so me and friend reconnect girl and I stayed together shes away planning wedding we hang out a bit. talk about it she gets pissed we are hanging out. why? I questioned her on why she would even ask me that....why she broke her own boundaries...how she felt...and everything. we had big fight said I couldn't get it up she wanted sick and she was messed up and didn't remember asking that..said sex is just sex. like it was no big deal. and she said that I agreed to it so I couldn't be upset. to which I replied yes that's true but I didn't agree at first and that should have been enough to make you realize I was unsure and leave it alone...and that she should have never asked in the first place if I was truly all she wanted in that way...and ot was easy for her to just jump to him and forget me...but she kept blaming me cause I couldn't get hard. and night before wedding we have huge fight. she says shes sorry for asking and sorry for ****ing him. she always said I dont remember even having sex or asking you to do that. she said I was messed up (which she was) so we move on. but her counter argument was when we first got together I was torn between her and my ex I texted my ex cause I still loved her we talked a couple days and I agreed to leave my now wife. but when my wife saw the texts she said cut it off or I'll leave I chose her. but she said that was cheating to which i agree but she said because I loved her it was way worse that her just ****ing my best friend. again sex is just sex. so night before wedding we have big fight I try to prove a point I text my buddy and she ask to go through my phone. cause she was saying i should trust her still that it's not right to lose trust over that. I'm texting my buddy not giving her phone and it is reading her apart...then she starts saying I was lying and cheated on her for revenge...but I didn't...and she didnt believe me. I said sec is just sec so I asked her best friend right in front of her if I could **** her. which obviously wasnt gun a happen but later she told me she would have been furious because that's her best friend but it's okay to **** mine? all I want is for her to stop acting like it wasnt a big deal and for her to stop justifying it...and saying she did nothing wrong..because if I did that she would have left me
jenkins95 Posted September 3, 2018 Posted September 3, 2018 Paragraphs are your friend. and ****s aren't! 1
Vivir Posted September 4, 2018 Posted September 4, 2018 Wow, James. So, basically you posted about a swinging event/threesome gone wrong in the OM/OW section of LoveShack. Now, you and your now-wife are experiencing major trust issues. There seems actually to be more than one or two things going on here, but I will focus on the event for brevity... You're angry. The two of you decided long ago that in threesome situations that you two would only fool around with the person of the same sex. This meant that she was only supposed to allow the female to interact with her sexually. She was never supposed to have sex or make out with another man. But she did... You two are arguing from different viewpoints, even though it seems like you're arguing about the same thing. I mean, you don't see it her way, and she doesn't see it your way. I do believe that she uses things you said in the past in order to argue that she did nothing wrong. For instance, in your frustration, in the heat of the moment, you gave her the green light to have sex with your friend AFTER you two previously agreed not to do that. You were expecting her to read your mind and facial expressions and KNOW beyond a shadow of a doubt that you really didn't want her to do that... You're arguing that she should have known not to do that... but if she argued from your point-of-view, she would have to admit that she hurt you and that she did something wrong in your relationship. You have asked for thoughts. This is spilt milk. You two agreed to one thing yet you both did another; you told her she could have sex with your friend and she did it! How do you want to resolve this major issue? I mean, you went through with the marriage... Will this continue to be an issue? Is it going to fester?? What do you want? In the future, perhaps you two should not engage in threesomes. I don't know, but it seems that when the hormones get going, people are willing to do whatever and work out the details later... Also, you should say what you mean AND mean what you say! If you two agreed not to have sex with the opposite sex during threesomes, and she asks you if she can do it, you need to put your foot down and say YOU KNOW I WOULDN'T LIKE THAT... ...you DID give her consent... even though you didn't want to! Now, you're upset... She had sex with your friend. Who knows whether or not she wanted to do that in the first place... This is a mess. I'm sorry.
Recommended Posts