iash101 Posted September 2, 2018 Posted September 2, 2018 Hi I could do with some advice I don’t know what to do for the best . I’ve just broke up with my girlfriend of 7 months we practically lived together . A couple of months in I bacame very snappy with her we put it down to me being under a lot of stress and pressure in work . Anyway she broke it off Friday so I had to call and collect my stuff yesterday , it was so emotional with lots of hugs even a kiss and her telling me she still loves me but just wishes she could have the old me back but didn’t want to risk trying again . We spoke this morning she said she thinks we need a break and she didn’t know what she wants I’ve told her I’m going to see a doctor tomorrow about the stress but can’t stop messaging her and starting to become a pain Do you think I should leave her alone absence makes the heart gonfonder sort of thing or keep trying to convince her ? I’m at my wits end I think iv ruined its Regards ian
d0nnivain Posted September 2, 2018 Posted September 2, 2018 Leave her alone until after your doctor's appointment. However, you don't need an MD to manage stress. You need to learn mediation & mindfulness. Popping a pill isn't going to help. Read some books on managing stress. Do you get enough sleep -- 8 hours? Do you eat a balanced diet? Do you exercise? Do those things & meditate, learn to be still & quiet. Once you get a handle on your emotions, then you can see if she's still available to date but not yet.
Author iash101 Posted September 2, 2018 Author Posted September 2, 2018 Up until recently we both done lots of exercise and had a reasonably ballanced diet , the work thing has gotten to me and I sort of shut down as for sleep I have a very early start and she would like to stay up late so guessing 6 hr max . I have to try and leave her alone I guess as I know she loves me and don’t want to push her away any more . Thanks
Author iash101 Posted September 2, 2018 Author Posted September 2, 2018 Also she’s been telling me to go to the docs for a while but haven’t so hoping if she sees I’m making positive steps some good will come out of it . Do you think I should tell her iv made an appointment or try and stick to the no communication thing ?
ExpatInItaly Posted September 2, 2018 Posted September 2, 2018 You could tell her you're finally going to the doctor. Just don't pin a lot of expectations that it will change how she feels right now. 1
Author iash101 Posted September 2, 2018 Author Posted September 2, 2018 My ex of 2 days has a mri scan shortly (nothing too serious) but I’m trying the no contact thing my question is do I text her to see how it went , I don’t want her to think I don’t care but don’t want to break the rule ..
hippychick3 Posted September 2, 2018 Posted September 2, 2018 There’s no reason to text. It’s just a scan. It’s non-invasive, and she won’t know the results today.
Author iash101 Posted September 2, 2018 Author Posted September 2, 2018 It’s to do with migraines that she suffers badly with
Author iash101 Posted September 2, 2018 Author Posted September 2, 2018 Yeah I’m not pinning much hope on it , I text her this morning and ah hasn’t replied
d0nnivain Posted September 2, 2018 Posted September 2, 2018 You can text if you like but since you are broken up you are not obligated to do so. If you broke up with her, she will take that text to mean you want to reconcile. Please don't give her false hope.
Author iash101 Posted September 2, 2018 Author Posted September 2, 2018 It was her that broke off , I want to show I care however I’m trying to give her space and also not come across as being needy, trying to make her think I’m doing fine when I’m not
d0nnivain Posted September 2, 2018 Posted September 2, 2018 NC is a healing tool. It is to be used to help you get over the break up. If you want to move on, stop interacting with her. If you want to reconcile of course you have to talk to her. In light of your other thread about her upcoming MRI, if you do hope to get back together with her, you must call & inquire about the test results. She broke things off with you because you have been short with her due to your stress. She has convinced herself you don't care. So if you fail to show her how much you care by at least asking about the MRI you will never get her back. Stop bombarding her though. In your shoes, I'd back off but reach out after her MRI. At that point you can also tell her you have done things to address your issues. If she sees positive changes she may reconsider her decision but understand real change takes time, not a few days & a single doctor's visit.
d0nnivain Posted September 2, 2018 Posted September 2, 2018 Read my answer to your other thread. She broke up with you because she thinks you don't care. You inquiring about her health is you showing her you care. Failing to inquire means she will never consider taking you back. Why would you think that you doing a kindness for her -- being concerned about her health -- makes you needy? That makes no sense. A needy person is all about themselves. Somebody caring about another person is not needy.
ExpatInItaly Posted September 2, 2018 Posted September 2, 2018 Read my answer to your other thread. She broke up with you because she thinks you don't care. You inquiring about her health is you showing her you care. Failing to inquire means she will never consider taking you back. Why would you think that you doing a kindness for her -- being concerned about her health -- makes you needy? That makes no sense. A needy person is all about themselves. Somebody caring about another person is not needy. OP, this advice is spot-on.
Author iash101 Posted September 2, 2018 Author Posted September 2, 2018 Thanks for the good advice d0nnavin I’m gonna drop her a text later, just telling her I hope it went well and to let me know what the results show , may slip in I’m going to the doctors tomorrow
ExpatInItaly Posted September 2, 2018 Posted September 2, 2018 Yeah I’m not pinning much hope on it , I text her this morning and ah hasn’t replied What did you write?
Author iash101 Posted September 2, 2018 Author Posted September 2, 2018 Well i sent her a text just saying I hope the mri went well and for her to let me know what the results come up with , she just replied saying the results take upto 7 weeks , not even a thanks for the concern lol
d0nnivain Posted September 2, 2018 Posted September 2, 2018 MRI results are instantaneous. They take a special picture & look at it. It doesn't take any longer than looking at a photo on your phone. It may take a few days if the radiologist is on vacation but it doesn't take 2 months to get the results. Something is not right there.
Author iash101 Posted September 2, 2018 Author Posted September 2, 2018 May be just a excuse so hasn’t got to contact me then
Author iash101 Posted September 2, 2018 Author Posted September 2, 2018 Just that IÂ’m working on the stress thing to get myself back to my old self going to the docs tomorrow starting back exercise, eating healthy etc. I text just now saying I hope the mri went well and for her to let me know what the results come up with she just replied the results take upto 7 weeks , I replied 7 weeks ah not good ... she hasnÂ’t replied
Author iash101 Posted September 2, 2018 Author Posted September 2, 2018 Really struggling at the moment can’t sleep or eat I’m convinced it’s over for good
William Posted September 4, 2018 Posted September 4, 2018 Two threads on a breakup merged for context. Some overlap and duplication may occur.
Marc878 Posted September 4, 2018 Posted September 4, 2018 Geese man you can't leave it alone. You are now a text pest. If you chase they move farther away. I just had an MRI. Got the results before I left the office.
Author iash101 Posted September 4, 2018 Author Posted September 4, 2018 After a week of break off it all came to a head last night she called it off good we’ve severed all communication, she said she loves me and would have liked it to work but can’t take the risk of me not getting back to my old self ..iv deleted her number etc so I can’t contact as I feel the urge to plead with her. I don’t know what to do with myself , I’m really struggling to cope and function .
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