LilySun Posted August 31, 2018 Posted August 31, 2018 Started to chat with a decent looking guy on Pof. After chatting very briefly he was forward and said look, if you don't like this it's ok. But I sordof want a meet and **** and if we vibe I would it only be you from now on". Because he hasn't been with anyone in 1 year. Well I felt his pain so I expressed interest. But said I don't know when, because I have a busy week and weekend. He was cool there, gave me his number and he really wants to talk more. I really was busy, so a couple days later just said I didn't forget him just busy. I said my friends leave Sunday so he says what about after they leave? At this point I'm a little aggitated because I warned him I'm busy and I'm not lying, my weekend is jam packed with plans. I said maybe but I don't know what time I could. Anyway his next note says he has been fantasizing about "serving me".... I'm not turned on by this... In fact I'm losing interest now. But why? Is this weird to anyone else or just me
rightondude Posted August 31, 2018 Posted August 31, 2018 It's a unique approach to say the least (I think?), but I like the cut of this guy's jib. Except for the "serving you" part, he kinda blew his cool with that stupid line. I do kinda doubt if you say "yes" that it will be "only you from now on." 2
d0nnivain Posted August 31, 2018 Posted August 31, 2018 The whole thing is gross to me. If the passage of time has made you less interested, tell him that then never speak to him again. Don't ghost him but certainly don't feel obligated to cure his drought. 1
Author LilySun Posted August 31, 2018 Author Posted August 31, 2018 It's a unique approach to say the least (I think?), but I like the cut of this guy's jib. Except for the "serving you" part, he kinda blew his cool with that stupid line. I do kinda doubt if you say "yes" that it will be "only you from now on." I agree he blew it there. It's one thing to fantasize about someone but it's not a good idea to tell them so? Unless we're talking an established partner and your trying to spice things up... He said if meeting up goes well, then it would be only me. I get that... I need it too so no big deal if it kinda flopped and we move on. But I really didn't care to about his "fantasy". Now he comes off as desperate. Just wondered if other people saw it that way also. Thanks.
OatsAndHall Posted August 31, 2018 Posted August 31, 2018 Either the guy is in a seriously sorry state (there's a reason he hasn't gotten laid in a year..) or this is a game he's playing for awhile. Bad news, either way.
Lotsgoingon Posted August 31, 2018 Posted August 31, 2018 You felt his pain. Forget his pain! You're not doing social work here. Hook up with him if you want to do it and if it feels right. This guy was clearly burning to hook up ... You are open to hooking up. There's a big difference. You might well consider why he's also not busy at all ... and consider that he might not be a good fit for you. He seems way too desperate ... and he doesn't have a life. And yes, he's chasing other people as well--you'd better believe that.
bathtub-row Posted August 31, 2018 Posted August 31, 2018 Every single thing that you said he wrote to you was a big red flag. He’s trouble. 1
glows Posted August 31, 2018 Posted August 31, 2018 Sounds like he just wants sex and a bit of pillow talk. There's no relationship in there unless it's a sexual relationship and emotional depth is lacking in his approach. That is a red flag if you're looking for emotional depth. I don't know what you both are talking about but it can't be very deep. Intellectual discussions are usually not of much substance without passion or spark or some emotion or background. It's what makes us human, fallible and also inspiring. It depends what you are looking for.
PRW Posted August 31, 2018 Posted August 31, 2018 Because he hasn't been with anyone in 1 year. Can't imagine why. No you aren't that busy. It is your smarter side telling you to stay away from the freak. 1
smackie9 Posted August 31, 2018 Posted August 31, 2018 Ya I was going to say there's a reason why no one has touched him in over a year. Ick.
kendahke Posted August 31, 2018 Posted August 31, 2018 (edited) look, if you don't like this it's ok. But I sordof want a meet and **** If the whole idea of meeting to smash turns you off, then you should have ditched him when he first stated this. It really doesn't sound like you are all that interested in him to begin with. Your interest level is no where near his. I said my friends leave Sunday so he says what about after they leave? At this point I'm a little aggitated because I warned him I'm busy and I'm not lying, my weekend is jam packed with plans. I'm not seeing where the agitation is coming from. He asked to see you once your friends are gone on Sunday, not while they're still there. Presumably, Monday you've got the holiday off, so what's up? But yeah, if you're that busy, you shouldn't be trying to start a new relationship because it's natural to want to spend time with you to get to know you. If you haven't got that time, then you're being unfair. Edited August 31, 2018 by kendahke
Author LilySun Posted August 31, 2018 Author Posted August 31, 2018 if you're so "busy" why are you dating? I am having a very busy WEEK in general and this is not typical there is just more going in than usual, I already explained things will slow down after the holiday weekend.
Jethro Posted August 31, 2018 Posted August 31, 2018 Classic pump and dump setup. Unless you are into that I would steer clear.
PRW Posted August 31, 2018 Posted August 31, 2018 If you are DTF,...didn't sound like that part of it bothered you that much, it wasn't the part you really complained about that much,...they why not do that with someone you know and that you "know where it's been",...rather than some strange freak you know nothing about from some OLD web site? This just seems really raunchy to me.
Author LilySun Posted August 31, 2018 Author Posted August 31, 2018 If the whole idea of meeting to smash turns you off, then you should have ditched him when he first stated this. No... I initially liked this idea. I told him I was interested and just didn't know when. But as days went he started to sound a bit too desperate about it. THAT is when my interest dissipated. And I have now told him I'm no longer into it, so that's done. And AGAIN as I said in original post I am only having a busy WEEK and told him this upfront. I also kindly asked him to be patient because my life is not typically busy like this. But he was NOT patient after that.
Author LilySun Posted August 31, 2018 Author Posted August 31, 2018 If you are DTF,...didn't sound like that part of it bothered you that much, it wasn't the part you really complained about that much,...they why not do that with someone you know and that you "know where it's been",...rather than some strange freak you know nothing about from some OLD web site? This just seems really raunchy to me. I do not know anyone that I can just hook up with... I am open to FWB but currently there is no one in my life that qualifies. Nor have I met anyone that is a potential relationship. He is probably in the same boat so I get that. But I would never admit to anyone I was fantasizing over them even if it was true... Lol. That just ruined it for me I guess.
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