MJGUK Posted August 30, 2018 Posted August 30, 2018 By persistence I don’t mean a guy constantly asking you out over a short period of time after you rejected him. I mean a guy who respected your decision, backs off, but maybe comes back after a few months and asks If you're interested. In my case this girl initially showed a lot of interest. After asking her out she offered me her number, added me on social media and she seemed keen to go on a date. However, a few days after I asked her, she said she had come to realise she is not ready to be dating someone. Although I was confused, I just let it be, and told her I understood and it was great meeting her. So I moved on dating other girls. However, as this was a few of months ago and there was interest on her part initially I was thinking of giving it another shot. So, would it be ok to ask her again or should I just move on.
Lotsgoingon Posted August 30, 2018 Posted August 30, 2018 You could send her a "hello" and ask how she's doing ... and see if she shows some interest. If her interest isn't strong and obvious (saying hello back to you isn't enough) move on. In either case, don't prioritize this person. Focus on others you want to ask out.
glows Posted August 30, 2018 Posted August 30, 2018 More importantly, why are you backpeddling? I don't think it's particularly negative or creepy if you want to give it another shot. If you think she's a good fit for you and you're not just operating based on bruised egos and boredom, yes, give it another shot. If not, please don't make a fool of yourself. 1
Radarsat Posted August 30, 2018 Posted August 30, 2018 You could always send her a message just to see how she is doing and then pay attention as to whether she wants to engage. But I wouldn't spend too much energy or expect much. If she starts to flirt and seems like she wants to chat more with you, then go for it. But again, keep dating others and don't waste your time.
alphamale Posted August 30, 2018 Posted August 30, 2018 if you were interested in a girl would you reject her and then hope she would ask you out again? probably not. just move on and date other chicks. 1
Author MJGUK Posted August 30, 2018 Author Posted August 30, 2018 The reason I want to ask her again is because she did initially show a lot of interest, which was the reason I asked her out in the first place....and as it's been a few months on I thought if I ask her again, I would get more of a definite answer. Usually, I don't like being persistent, but this girl ticks every box for me and I don't really want to miss a chance with her if there is one.
Ruby Slippers Posted August 30, 2018 Posted August 30, 2018 Usually, I don't like being persistent, but this girl ticks every box for me and I don't really want to miss a chance with her if there is one. Then do as Lotsgoingon suggested - send her a short message saying hello. This takes 10 seconds, so not a big deal. If her response is enthusiastic, proceed. Anything less, don't waste your time. 1
d0nnivain Posted August 30, 2018 Posted August 30, 2018 You will never know unless you ask. That said, "not ready" is usually a white lie, nice way to let somebody down. It's easier to say that then to specify some unattractive quality that makes you not want to date someone. You can reach out ONCE. If you don't get a response, leave it alone. Generally what the pursuer (you) sees as persistence, the prey (her) sees as annoying, failure to take no for an answer. 1
Larry56 Posted August 30, 2018 Posted August 30, 2018 By persistence I don’t mean a guy constantly asking you out over a short period of time after you rejected him. I mean a guy who respected your decision, backs off, but maybe comes back after a few months and asks If you're interested. In my case this girl initially showed a lot of interest. After asking her out she offered me her number, added me on social media and she seemed keen to go on a date. However, a few days after I asked her, she said she had come to realise she is not ready to be dating someone. Although I was confused, I just let it be, and told her I understood and it was great meeting her. So I moved on dating other girls. However, as this was a few of months ago and there was interest on her part initially I was thinking of giving it another shot. So, would it be ok to ask her again or should I just move on. Nope. You didn't tick enough boxes. She was probably just initially excited to have someone like her. But she never felt over 50% attracted to you so don't bother. Unless you became rich and famous since then.
Simple Logic Posted August 30, 2018 Posted August 30, 2018 If she had 2nd thoughts, she would reach out to you. Move on.
rightondude Posted August 31, 2018 Posted August 31, 2018 I've done it and it's worked a couple of times to varying degrees. Most times it hasn't resulted in anything though. Good point AlphaMale, but sometimes life doesn't quite work out how people want, and they don't get exactly what they want, and something comes back up, and they either appreciate it more with a change of heart/mind .... or they just decide to settle for less (because something's better than nothing!). And just for the same reason they don't approach men cold, I think some women won't go begging you for a 2nd chance. At the time I reached out, I wasn't concerned with the reason. Either way, you may be able to get something real or at least something physical (FWB).
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