himynameis253 Posted August 30, 2018 Posted August 30, 2018 She initiated everything. I had been crushing on her for months, but considered her out of my league so didn’t do anything. She started flirting and eventually came onto me hard one night over FB messenger, confessed her attraction to me and begged me to date her. I deflected her at first, but a few weeks later agreed to go out with her. Over about seven weeks we had an off-and-on dating relationship but did not have sex, although toward the end she inducater that she was willing. The problem was that this was my first dating experience and I had no idea what I was doing. I was always too damn timid around her to show sexual interest and acted like a friend. She was patient for a while and said she was willing to do me, but I kept acting sexually neutral and making a bunch of other mistakes in dealing with her. About six weeks ago she went cold and friebdzoned me, and three weeks later hooked up with someone else, which devastated me utterly. Lightening struck with this one...she was very attracted to me... and I ****ing blew everything, lost her respect by acting weak and sexless. In the aftermath I started acting weird, distant, immature, and bitter and I doubt she wants anything to do with me anymore even as a friend. after everything went south did I start studying how the **** I should have acted. But now it’s too late, she is no lunch longer attracted. F***
d0nnivain Posted August 30, 2018 Posted August 30, 2018 You didn't get friend-zoned. You got dumped. There is a difference. If she only saw you as a platonic friend, she would not have begged you to go out with her. When you failed to step up to the plate, she took that as you rejecting her & she moved on. Don't beat yourself up. Nobody gets their 1st relationship right. You don't say how old you are but if this was your 1st relationship & you were only dating her for less than 2 months, that is too fast to move to intimacy. Even if you are bombarded with external messages from the media & your friends about having sex, you just weren't ready & she was actually unfairly pressuring you. With any new activity you need to learn at your own pace & be comfortable. You weren't yet but you will be there. Now that you have a little experience, use what you learned to find another woman to ask out. When the time is right you will find the right partner. 1
Rocker71 Posted September 2, 2018 Posted September 2, 2018 I did the same fricken thing last year. Your experience is very similar to mine. On the forth date she was giving me hints that she wanted sex that night and I missed them due to inexperience cuz of just coming out of a 6 year relationship. After I realized my mistake, I tried to make it up to her on subsequent dates and came off as desperate. I really liked her a lot. Everything I always wanted in a gf as far as I knew her. Great looking arm candy too! You have to realize about 40% or more of the women that go out with us just want sex to start out. So it is imperative to strike while her iron is hot! Because when her 'iron' cools off from us being to 'respectful' or timid to make the move we get dumped like what happened to us both. Pull away from her. Go No Contact ASAP. The reason you go NC is so you don't over pursue and creep her out. Also, it gives her space to maybe think about giving you another chance. Most likely she won't. This woman hasn't heard a peep from me going on 5 months. I'm dating other women and not making the mistake of being too timid and respectful to lead things into the sexual realm. You need to get this experience under your belt too. When I think about how I didn't give this woman what she wanted it unsettles my very soul. When I think about how into me she was and how badly I messed up by being the nice guy and missing out on potentially great sexual experiences with her or even a possible relationship, it feels like Bruce Lee kicked me in the chest. You have to push through and try to date other chicks. Leave this girl alone. If she was crazy for you she'd be contacting you for sex. She'd make it easy. My guess is she isn't. Move onto other women. And for god sakes DO NOT contact her to explain anything. It'll only make you look worse. Hope I could help. 1
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