icarus tenshi Posted August 30, 2018 Posted August 30, 2018 (edited) Hi. I'm new to the forum. I broke up with my ex around 4 months ago and a week after the brake up I started getting closer to this older lady whom I've been talking since the beginning of the year. I invited her to eat outside and that same day she took me to her place. We talked for hours until I left. Since then I've been going twice a week,she always cook dinner for me and sometimes we've been cooking together. By the time I leave she gives me bags with food,fruits and more so i don't need to buy next day on my job. We went to the movie theater and we got really close with each other like touching and holding hands for a bit . I was hoping something else could've happen but i just can't find myself trowing the first rock at her because I'm a little confused as to what are her feelings for me . Lately ,we've been texting pretty much everyday and she started calling me names like sweetie,sweetheart,honey,darling cutie and when I called her honey she said she loved it. She also told me that she feels very comfortable around me, that she does not invite people like that to her house and she doesn't know why she did it with me. I asked her why and she said because I'm caring,gentle,honest and cute lol but when I go to her place she keeps some distance and calls me by my name. When I tell her how gorgeous she looks she starts blushing immediately but also always reminding me how old she is lol. I've been with older women before but she is way to nice of a person and I don't even want to loose her as a friend . Does she have feelings for me or she's just being super nice? Edited August 30, 2018 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Paragraphs 1
FMW Posted August 30, 2018 Posted August 30, 2018 What are your ages? It sounds like she probably does have interest in you beyond just friendship, but if the age difference is great enough she may be uncomfortable about making her interest clear. Just ask her how she feels about you and how she sees your relationship. 1
d0nnivain Posted August 30, 2018 Posted August 30, 2018 Try kissing her hello or goodbye next time. On some levels she seems interested but there is a lot of care giving that is bordering on mothering going on here so from what you wrote it's hard to tell.
Author icarus tenshi Posted August 30, 2018 Author Posted August 30, 2018 (edited) She's 49 and I'm 35.She's from southern Asia. She takes good care of herself and looks mid 30s,well educated,divorced and mother of 3.She also has high family values and is very active at the church on sundays. She's also very traditional to her home country culture which i like a lot. She does seem to express more over the phone text rather than in person. Edited August 30, 2018 by icarus tenshi
Redhead14 Posted August 30, 2018 Posted August 30, 2018 (edited) There isn't one single thing you've described that indicates that she isn't interested in you. She's an older woman and likely isn't going to become too intimate with a man without clarity about his intentions with her. Open a casual conversation about what you each are looking for out of your dating journeys overall and then how you each feel about this scenario at this point. If she says, she's interested in moving forward to see if this can progress into something more, you give her a kiss and go from there. Stop trying to be in her head. Communicate! Edited August 30, 2018 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Redact full quote of starting post
Author icarus tenshi Posted August 30, 2018 Author Posted August 30, 2018 Thanks. We will meet this weekend and i will try my best! 1
PRW Posted August 30, 2018 Posted August 30, 2018 By the time I leave she gives me bags with food,fruits and more so i don't need to buy next day on my job. We went to the movie theater and we got really close with each other like touching and holding hands for a bit . I was hoping something else could've happen but i just can't find myself trowing the first rock at her because I'm a little confused as to what are her feelings for me . Lately ,we've been texting pretty much everyday and she started calling me names like sweetie,sweetheart,honey,darling cutie and when I called her honey she said she loved it. She sounds co-dependent, and you are the lost puppy. Co-dependent people are dependent on people being dependent on them, that is they get validation from "fixing" others. Or maybe she is just lonely,...or all the above,...who knows. She also told me that she feels very comfortable around me,Because she knows you will never try anything,...you're a "nice guy",..."safe". Does she have feelings for me or she's just being super nice?Answered above 1
preraph Posted August 30, 2018 Posted August 30, 2018 She may only be giving you fair warning that she's older -- as if you hadn't noticed. But it may not be a "no." I think you should maybe just tell her, "I don't care that you're older. I really like you. Is it a dealbreaker for you?" and see what she says. I mean, it's true she is being a BIT motherly, so not sure what she's thinking exactly, but you have a right to ask and find out. I think since neither of you are young inexperienced people, you should just ask her about it. That way, if she says "just friends," well, you've got someone to cook for you and hang out.
smackie9 Posted August 30, 2018 Posted August 30, 2018 You are both adults so age shouldn't be an issue...it's ok to throw the first rock...be a man so to speak....she's been serving her interest in you on a silver platter for f sakes lol GO FOR IT! 1
Author icarus tenshi Posted August 31, 2018 Author Posted August 31, 2018 I will try my chances again this weekend. i already make a choice and i'm gonna tell her how i feel about her! 2
Logo Posted September 1, 2018 Posted September 1, 2018 Why did you write that she's the "right person" for you? Beside inviting you for dinner and being nice, what do you like about her?
Author icarus tenshi Posted September 1, 2018 Author Posted September 1, 2018 Why did you write that she's the "right person" for you? Beside inviting you for dinner and being nice, what do you like about her? The way she talks and think. Self made independent woman. Never takes NO as an answer. Long black shiny hair with a nice body and that looks that only an asian women can have.... What's not to like !!! 1
preraph Posted September 1, 2018 Posted September 1, 2018 May I suggest that since she's been very giving and cooking for you and all, you take her out on a date and pay and all that just to show you are dating and not just having dinner at her house! 2
Author icarus tenshi Posted September 1, 2018 Author Posted September 1, 2018 May I suggest that since she's been very giving and cooking for you and all, you take her out on a date and pay and all that just to show you are dating and not just having dinner at her house! I have done it many times! 1
preraph Posted September 2, 2018 Posted September 2, 2018 Well, you have only to find out if your age difference really matters to her or not -- but do not lead with that. Lead with "Our age difference doesn't bother me." Because if you lead with asking if it bothers her, she will assume you're asking because it bothers you. So start with that it doesn't bother you and see if she feels the same. I bet she does.
Author icarus tenshi Posted September 25, 2018 Author Posted September 25, 2018 (edited) Back from the death. We spent saturday night together again . I asked her if she believes in love and we went back and fort about our past experiences ect ect. She said "trust" is a must in a healthy relationship. I waited for the right time and I told her how much I like her and she said she feels the same way towards me. I ask if she wants to be my date. She said if she had my age she would do it right away , I paused for a second and i told her I have deep feelings for her but she said does not share the same way for me (she said it nicely) She keeps asking me how my parents would feel about me bringing and older gal into the picture. i said as long as they see me happy they don't care and it doesn't bother me at all,age is just number! Next thing I grabbed her hand and I kiss it, I looked at her eyes deeply and I told her I love her and she turned red like an apple!! She said she was very surprise and wasn't expecting me to feel that way for her. She grabbed my hand also and wouldn't let me go lol She ask me for time to think about it! We huged for like five minutes and I tried to reach her lips but she wouldn't let me... ahh my classy lady! Well it is just a matter of time to see how this goes. I think she likes me but is a bit concerned about the age difference! Edited September 25, 2018 by icarus tenshi 1
preraph Posted September 25, 2018 Posted September 25, 2018 Well, I guess this came as a surprise to her, so yes, she needs time to think about how she feels about it. She has age reservations, but maybe she will think about it. Let us know what happens!
Author icarus tenshi Posted September 26, 2018 Author Posted September 26, 2018 She also mentioned that I was the slow, patience, no rush kind of guy, like implying that I took forever to lay a finger on her or something like that. That was weird lol
Scarlett.O'hara Posted September 26, 2018 Posted September 26, 2018 Some people find age differences really difficult to deal with. Personally, I don't really see the problem once someone hits 35 dating someone older. If she is genuinely interested but just a little hesitant, it might just take her some time to get used to the idea of dating a younger man, and potentially what others, including her children will think of her. If you are really interested, it might require some time and patience on your side. Just don't friend zone yourself by backing off completely. Continue to be tactile and romantic when possible. No need to go overboard, just let her know you are interested in her romantically as a woman, not as a platonic friend. I hope things work out.
Author icarus tenshi Posted September 27, 2018 Author Posted September 27, 2018 Some people find age differences really difficult to deal with. Personally, I don't really see the problem once someone hits 35 dating someone older. If she is genuinely interested but just a little hesitant, it might just take her some time to get used to the idea of dating a younger man, and potentially what others, including her children will think of her. If you are really interested, it might require some time and patience on your side. Just don't friend zone yourself by backing off completely. Continue to be tactile and romantic when possible. No need to go overboard, just let her know you are interested in her romantically as a woman, not as a platonic friend. I hope things work out. Exactly,patience is key!
Author icarus tenshi Posted October 29, 2018 Author Posted October 29, 2018 Back from the death! I told her how much she meant to me and she also feels the same for me and we kissed. Once again she asked me to take it sloe and we agree. I can not be happier than this
smackie9 Posted October 29, 2018 Posted October 29, 2018 Well I don't blame her for being a bit guarded...at first. She asked the right questions to be sure. Sounds like she's starting to "trust" your intentions.
Author icarus tenshi Posted March 28, 2019 Author Posted March 28, 2019 It has been a long time since my last post. I just want to let everybody now that she is my girlfriend now and we are having the time of our lifes
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