Breakup question: Do some cheaters use rape as a cover for infidelity?

[BillPaxton2424]

I also agree that it's uncommon to use rape as a cover. If she was cheating, she could have just straight up denied it all.

 

Basil she did deny it for 3 weeks.

 

And the only time she cried was when I caught her.

[Thingsfallapart]

When a girl as crazy as your ex was gets caught multiple times cheating and when they’ve run out of all excuses, yes they will play the rape card. Because they know that’s a great excuse to avoid anymore accusations and questions.

For some crazy women the rape card is there last get out of jail free card.

My ex used it twice. Twice! And later when we got back together she admitted the truth and said that she said that because she didn’t want to lose me and she thought it was the only way to make me stay with her after I caught her cheating.

 

Anyway, dude, why are you still asking questions like this? At the end of the day the way she treated you was awful, don’t start doubting yourself now. You’re still in the FOG but it’ll become a lot clearer with time that you were right and you made the right decisions

[CantTakeMySmile]

It seems like you have made your decision and you are satisfied with it.

 

You just have the question as to if this is a common occurrence. I don’t have the statistics but I am sure there are some available to answer your question. I would assume that YES, this does happen and NO, it is probably not common.

 

Like I said, I have not researched the stats (maybe you should since this is of interest to you), but as a woman, I can’t imagine I would ever say I was raped, as horrible as that is, just to cover up a one night stand.

 

At least you are moved on and accepted your decision. Now you BOTH can heal. Not responding to her advances is the kindest thing you are doing as it does not give her false hope.

 

I am sure there are studies out there to help you research your answer. We, here, only speculate. May I ask your interest in the question as to if it is common or not?

[marky00]

Oh and also the last time I confronted her she said.. And I quote..

 

"You're not gonna believe me, but I was raped.. But I must have wanted it."

 

?? what does this even mean

 

OP, i'm sorry but your take on this sentence is wrong.

 

She was being sarcastic. Essentially pointing out to you that you were taking the view that society takes sometimes when a woman claims she was raped. Society might come out and say she deserved it because she was flirtatious or wearing a skimpy outfit etc.

 

That is what she meant by the part in bold. It's just so obvious to me. I'm not sure how you could have interpreted it any other way.

 

She said she was raped and could very well have been. By all means you can compartmentalise and treat the possible rape as separate from the fact she cheated on you.

[BillPaxton2424]

If you were raped would you refuse to get tested for STDs? lol

[ExpatInItaly]

OP, why does this even matter anymore?

 

You have decided she was not raped. You two are no longer together. What is the point in rehashing this all over again? What are you trying to prove to yourself?

 

Time to start accepting that it's over, I would think.

[CantTakeMySmile]

If you were raped would you refuse to get tested for STDs? lol

'

 

 

 

 

I don't see how, from any perspective, you could find this funny. What do you see humor in?

[Orokotikki]

Hey Bill,

You trusted your gut and the evidence as you were given or discovered.

You do not need to justify or defend yourself from people who disagree.

 

See my other posts and see if you think I am heartless or hard-nosed, I don't think I am, and I think you were entirely reasonable in your conclusion and actions. And I don't think you are heartless or hard-nosed either. Nor do I think you are "blaming the victim" or other such things.

 

You should accept that you will never know the truth about that specific incident and move forward. Fact is her poor boundaries should/is dealbreaker enough to leave.

 

Rape is a sensitive issue, so do not be surprised by other's biting remark's or insinuations. The only further engagement you are likely to garner in this thread is from people who have been hurt by others' disbelief or similar situations and is not to your benefit.

 

@ CantTakeMySmile - I am pretty sure his 'lol' comes from exasperation and feeling backed into a corner and pressured to justify his altogether reasonable decision, a hysterical laugh if you will, which indicates disbelief and other emotions rather than actual humor.

[marky00]

If you were raped would you refuse to get tested for STDs? lol

 

How is that funny? And actually rape victims do find follow-up action like tests or legal action very hard to deal with which is why most don't end up acting on it.

[marky00]

I am pretty sure his 'lol' comes from exasperation and feeling backed into a corner and pressured to justify his altogether reasonable decision, a hysterical laugh if you will, which indicates disbelief and other emotions rather than actual humor.

 

Backed into a corner? Huh?

 

He is the one posting here. I think we are just confused as to what he is trying to gain from his thread. If he was so comfortable with his decision and the way he handled things, why is he even here trying to justify something to us?

[William]

Back to the topic folks. The question is pretty clear and I've already repeated it once for any who choose not to exercise reading comprehension. Leave mind-reading the thread starter out of it. Thanks!