SevenCity Posted August 29, 2018 Posted August 29, 2018 It’s not uncommon for men, or women for that matter, to smell. It could be a variety of reasons from laziness, not knowing (“nose blind”), time issues (hygiene takes too much time for them to be worth it), medical, what you eat, etc. My gf freaked me out initially because she kept grabbing body parts of mine and taking deep inhales with he nose. I was worried I smelled (I make a huge effort not to) but she explained to me that she loved the way I smelled and was just enjoying it. Turns out her ex husband would go days without showering and even changing socks as he had more important things to address with his time.
smackie9 Posted August 29, 2018 Posted August 29, 2018 Anytime I had a date come over or going out, even if I had a shower that morning, I had another one and put on fresh clothes, etc without a thought...I just did it. No excuses. 1
Chilli Posted August 29, 2018 Posted August 29, 2018 Yeah it's pretty common with some women too. l often noticed some seemed to think it was all cool to shower that morning or the night before , work all day chuck on fresh make up and some body spray or something , nice clothes and all was well. No thanks , not for this boy. l think some people just have no damn idea and lucky you, you got yourself one .
LurkerXX Posted August 29, 2018 Posted August 29, 2018 Out all day on the trails with each other in an area with no showers---ok...but even then there are some emergency measures you can take. Just at home...no. When you are expecting situations of close proximity, a little bit of thoughtfulness is called for. And this is coming from someone pretty rough around the edges. 1
Lorenza Posted August 29, 2018 Posted August 29, 2018 Some people don't realize they stink. And to be honest, I've known some who would start stinking the moment they got warm or slightly sweaty. I'm guessing it wasn't an issue with their hygiene, just their natural odour. And I've also known guys who'd smell soooo good when they were a little bit sweaty. They had this sexy earthy smell. Or maybe we were just physically and chemically compatible. I'm among the lucky ones who don't really stink after a day of not showering (it's well documented by people who have been with me and them claiming I smell nice after a hot day). But some people just naturally stink despite being completely clean. Although I'm guessing that OP's guy is just lazy and way too comfortable way too early, but who knows 2
GoreSP Posted August 29, 2018 Posted August 29, 2018 I know two guys who have strong BO fresh out of the shower. Not sure why but if you can’t handle his smell, don’t date him.
mortensorchid Posted August 29, 2018 Posted August 29, 2018 There have been times I have been around people whose stench is overpowering. And I tell them this. I have also been around people who have a very pleasant smell about them, and I tell them that it's a pleasant smell. Smells are something that you don't realize are what they are until you experience them - either very good ones or very bad ones. If you have a bad smell, people are standoffish and treat you differently.
glows Posted August 29, 2018 Posted August 29, 2018 Thank you for your thoughts, but I am not and never have been an "easy" girl. And as an over-thinker, I always stay aware of the vibes and "read between the lines" of a date (if I didn't I wouldn't ponder this date's issue in the first place). I could never enjoy a "netflix/booty call" type of relationship with a man as I strongly dislike sex with men I don't know well. I have not had sex with this man in the month since I've started seeing him and I have told him I do not want to have sex before knowing him better. (Note I did not say "the girl you're having sex with" but rather "the girl you're trying to seduce.") I do think it more has something to do with the man - the more I get to know him, the more I notice other negative qualities (DUI, heavy smoker, heavy drinker, etc). Based on responses, I think this poor hygiene may just be part of this whole package... and may also be the last straw. You're listing a lot of items that would be dealbreakers to many. Did you make a decision yet whether to see him again?
alphamale Posted August 29, 2018 Posted August 29, 2018 if he is good in the sack then you can overlook his stinkiness
FMW Posted August 30, 2018 Posted August 30, 2018 if he is good in the sack then you can overlook his stinkiness Nope. <Ten characters> 2
Arieswoman Posted August 30, 2018 Posted August 30, 2018 dranoel, I think you are looking at this the wrong way, his choosing to smell like goodness-knows-what is not a reflection on you, it's his choice. So there is no need to feel insulted. Some pepole haven't a clue abut personal hygiene. They put clean clothes on - but don't wash themselves. Or they wash themselves and put the same clothes back on again. Sometimes they don't do either If you don't like his 'manly odour' it's time to cut and run, because it isn't going to get any better. There is a medical condition called 'Bromidrosis' which is characterised by copious foul-smelling sweat. If your date suffered with this I doubt if you'd have wanted to enter the room never mind sit with him, believe me it's baaaad. But that is treatable. I think it's just sheer laziness on his part. 2
preraph Posted August 30, 2018 Posted August 30, 2018 Some people just sweat more, for one thing. And if it's hot, everyone sweats and some smell worse than others. Everyone should take a shower right before a date, not just the day of. And another one if necessary right before they go to bed if they're having sex. If a person knows they have this problem, they can even go do a quick clean up at the restaurant's bathroom if they know they sweated. And something not everyone knows, you can put deodorant other places, under your boobs, under your belly, in your pantyline, on the back of your knees, inside of your elbows.
Chilli Posted August 31, 2018 Posted August 31, 2018 Weird , my best friend growing up stunk , his house stunk his family stunk, it was a really off smell too. He got married at 28, always wonder if his smell went onto the wifey , the kids later, the house. Never saw him later on to know but l still wonder. 1
OnlyHonesty Posted August 31, 2018 Posted August 31, 2018 You are right. There is no excuse for a grown man to sit up with funk all on him and think someone else wants to smell that. Sometimes there is due to medical reasons. Smelly hair syndrome is one, but it may just be poor hygiene in this ones case.
Dis Posted September 1, 2018 Posted September 1, 2018 It could be that he didn't want to put in the effort, it could be that he doesn't practice good hygiene because that's just who he is, or he could just have over active apocrine glands which causes him to smell even after a shower. At the end of the day you have to decide if this is a dealbreaker or not. It won't change. Personally, I wouldn't stick around. I'd be turned off the the point where I wouldn't even be able to cuddle and would excuse myself early in the night and call it a day on dating him. First impressions are important and set the tone for the remaining relationship. My bf was always freshly showered when we started dating, so was I. We keep it that way almost a year later living together but he does occasionally smell. When he does I'll bury my nose in his armpit to tease him, then he rushes off to the shower
maxi105 Posted September 2, 2018 Posted September 2, 2018 dranoel... ive joined the pages late, so am just going on your original thoughts. have you spoken to this person? if not then that is the first place you need to go to. maybe there is a medical situation here, and if that is the case it isn't fair to either just assume, make someone feel bad when it might be that nerves have made him sweat more if he hasn't dated in a while or has lost confidence or been bullied a lot without people commenting or acting badly. ok, somethings are difficult, but this is still a real person with feelings just as real as anyone else's and is probably sensitive. if it is just purely about a hygiene situation that is lacking then again you need to talk to him honestly and kindly to let him know that its making you feel uncomfortable and that you wanted to let him know so things can change, if he doesn't know then help him know how things can be best kept fresh. its about giving someone a chance for dignity before you label, gossip about them and crush them, mock them to others, or reject them as people or worthy. maybe there is a depression or emotional situation behind it, who knows. if they are a good person then you will talk to them, if you want to give them a chance then again talk to them but make it clear they start things in progress to change, if its financial then again talk to them. if they just haven't bothered and there is no situation behind the cause like a medical, emotional, financial problem or they've had a time on the streets etc...if you know 100% (not you guess or suspect) if you know 100% and they tell you they have let themselves go and aren't bothered to try to do something then that's when you should just let them know that youre not hanging around and why. its easy to just put something like this down to someone who doesn't wash!!!!! but a lot of people in that situation are actually good people with other things, medical or whatever going on, and they probably don't need a lot of judgemental, offensive or hurtful comments that soon spread and isolate them further to bring them down and are probably cutting down their self esteem further. its about maturity and communicating! yours...and HIS!!!! ok, that's my take on it. give him a chance if he is a good person (and talk to him either way); you may not know all you think you do about this person and what is going on (or has gone on) in their life. people can surprise you "sometimes", if you treat them with fairness, thoughtfulness and honesty! if you've spoken to him and as an adult he still fails to show you there can be change and respect for you and himself to try to control things as best as he can (or is able), then like any other potential date, he will have had his chance and lost it. good luck, and just put yourself in his shoes for this talk, and find out if there are other more serious or difficult things for him that are making this situation the way they are at the moment. this guy may be getting bullied or abused or may have suffered greatly from it and another judging disgusted onlooker/person in his life when maybe his confidence has just started to turn upwards for him (if he does have a genuine problem that you don't know about) is sure to really hurt him deeply. bullying is not just about mocking someone or making them feel bad etc, it can also come about by facilitating others to join or just talking in disproval about how someone else is...it can also be extended in or not helping someone who may need some thoughtful and helpful advice (even at his age now!!!!). he cant be that bad a person apart from the hygiene, otherwise you wouldn't have agreed to even go on this date!!!!! ok, good luck. im sure it will be resolved one way or the other.maxi.
preraph Posted September 2, 2018 Posted September 2, 2018 just today on the radio I heard about some disease that makes you sweat profusely but that there is a cure for.
alphamale Posted September 2, 2018 Posted September 2, 2018 just today on the radio I heard about some disease that makes you sweat profusely but that there is a cure for. the cure is called "anti-perspirant" 1
fiskadoro Posted September 3, 2018 Posted September 3, 2018 Is he from another country/culture? Deodorant isn't universal. I am surprised this thread got three pages with no one mentioning this. There is a difference between being clean and not wearing deodorant/antiperspirant. Your diet, the temperature, and a host of other factors affect how you smell, and to be honest if you are that put out about it, why have you not talked to him about it? Is he Arab, Indian, NE Asian, African? Many people from these cultures use scents or special fragrances in lieu of something you rub under your armpits. BTW, I agree that a strong smell of BO isn't very appealing, but the western aversion to the body's natural smell was created by soap and detergent companies looking to drum up sales. Before the early 20th century, blah blah blah you can surely guess where I am going with this! Or, he may just shower less frequently than many Americans/westerners do. I shower a couple of times a week (but always after a workout) and I feel just as solid as when I was showering 1 or 2 times daily. Crunch on!
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