She stood me up (M33 Polynesian, F20 German) ** Update **

[Farid]

I’m falling in love with me new housemate. She is German. I really don’t know what to do. I don’t want to behave inappropriately with my housemate. it will seem i’m overthinking things, later on you’ll understand why.

 

a couple of months ago, I put up an ad on facebook saying that i’d like to rent 2 rooms in my apartment. this very goofy girl contacted me telling me that she needs a room for 6 months because she is going to study at our local university. we are immediately amused with each others out of the blue & dry humor.

 

she came to see my place with her sister and dad. when I said that she could rent the room, she was so happy and ecstatic about her new room and my city Maastricht (a fairy tale like, picturesque city among the greenest hills of south Netherlands.) she is such a happy go lucky and goofy girl, our humor was so similar, I thought about her several times in the coming weeks.

 

after reserving the room a couple months prior, she moved in on august 19th. I had kinda forgotten how much it had clicked between us. when she arrived, from the first moment it felt like we have been friends for decades. do you get that feeling that you have heard a song before , deja vu feeling. do you also get it about people, with whom you later become very good friends, or lovers. I felt a total dejavu with her.

 

the first day she arrived, I had a headache, she asked me if she could make soup for me or something. I thought waw she is such a sweetheart. and from there the sweetness escalated.

 

unlike other housemates i’ve had, she won’t stay in her room a minute when she is home. she always comes and sits next to me watching whatever i’m watching. I prefer talking to her, so in the 5 days she has been here we’ve learned so much about each other.

 

She isn’t materialistic, she is an africa aid volunteer, she regularly volunteers to donate blood and other stuff, she wants to become a psychologist to help those who are most misunderstood, she smokes weed sometimes like me, our sense of kindness, love of animals, love of fellow humans is so similar, she is vegetarian, she is kinda hippie, she likes to walk outside barefoot for crying out loud

 

you may understand what i’m trying to say. i’m so taken by her. in this beautiful dutch summer, I ran into my pixie dreamgirl, except the manic part haha. she is so kind and full of love and warm demeanor.

 

and she has my favorite kind of eyes: a bit foxy and asian. she is that girl, she stepped out of a romance novel, she fell out of a RomCom, she materialized from my fantasies.

 

and I have a couple of problems.

 

i’m 33, she is 20. not only i’m not sure what she makes of the age difference if she finally asked how old i am, i’m not sure if people around us wouldn’t chastise me for having a gf 13 years younger.

 

back when my parents married, mom was 16 and dad 29. I know in Europe that difference is taboo. fortunately we had a beautiful childhood. my dad was a champion wrestler, so he and mom aged pretty much at the same rate haha… but in our time… now societies views seems different...

 

if fear she may have responded in a positive way -to me subtly hinting my feelings- because she hasn’t asked/doesn’t know that I’m 33 yet, and I look between 24 and 27 years old. this has been frustrating before haha in the Netherlands you can buy alcohol from supermarkets only afte the age of 25 and I get stopped at the cashier 8 out of 10 times. and at the top end i’ve been estimated to be 27 years old max.

 

Some examples of how she responded to me hinting my feelings to her:

when I got really touched by her charitable activities I told her that she is an angel.

 

she tried to say that in the end we all do it for ourselves, so that we feel good (damn you Nietzsche! I thought haha) I stopped her and said “between a psychopath and a saint, there are levels, and the more you put other people's interests before yours, you are closer to a saint than satan, and you have put a lot of people before yourself. there are not much people in the world like you. someone like you is very precious and you deserve to know that."

 

she was lying on the couch next to me, she lifted her head and looked quite touched by what I said. Staring at me she slowly got a broad smile and said thank you. It felt good to remind someone truly good how precious she is.

 

we had eaten a couple of times on my (romantic) big beautiful terrace/balcony that overlooks a tree filled street and a green field (don't get me wrong I'm only describing how romantic it is. the rest of the apartment is very small haha.) This morning she had woken up earlier than I. she asked if she could prepare breakfast for me. she had already eaten, I didn’t make her do it twice, and made my own sandwich.

 

when she told me that she didn’t have to be at the uni till later in the day, I said that I’ll take her to show her some stores. she said ok and returned from her room in a most beautiful flowery dress looking… impossible… I thought good lord how is this girl even real… I said you look so beautiful. she said thanks, and came sat next to me. I said “I didn’t think a human could be prettier, and here you are even more beautiful" she blushed, and said “you make me spoiled". I said you deserve it!

 

when we came back from shopping she cooked for us. when we sat at the terras eating, at a moment i saw her looking down. I thought she was looking at her phone. when I asked what she was doing, she said “nothing-- actually I may wanna stay longer that 6 months if you haven’t already rented it to someone after that." I said "no I haven't. I do want you to stay."

 

after I took a bit risk hinting how I feel about her, I was a bit nervous. Because at an age where so many men have behaved in inappropriate ways, I really don’t wanna make a mistake. I don’t wanna be someone like that.

 

if I have misread her, if she doesn’t feel the same about me, this is quite a big risk. because with her renting a room at my place, i’m at a position of power. and from a professional point of view, it would be unprofessional to hit on my housemate.

 

It’s just that-- this is so intense it’s suffocating :/

 

so what’s the hurry part:

i’ve rented a second room at my place. a -soon to be 18 years old- german guy is also moving in tomorrow. they are both single, and seem ready for a relationship.

 

I travel a lot for work, i’m only one week each month at home.

 

a precious person like this girl, will have many other guys chasing her all over the uni.

 

between leaving two single young people from the same country in my house, her being so lovely that a girl like her not staying single for long in an environment like university, I don’t have much time left.

 

Specially the housemates living together, only two people, of opposite sex, is a very intimate relationship. let’s be realistic, fuel and fire don’t live together in one container for long without catching fire. This two have 6 months at least. Falling in love is on the table.

 

and even if she doesn’t start anything serious with the new guy, if she just hooks up with him, she may refuse me asking her out later on.

 

and she is taller than I am. not as much as tom cruise and n. kidman haha, she is about 8 cm taller than I am. the other guy, being german, I expect him to be taller than her. Be honest girls, height is big haha

 

see why i’m in such hope and despair simultaneously?

 

btw if i’ve made it sound like i’ve beaten my ego to a pulp, don’t worry:

don’t take the last thoughts as lack of self confidence. as joe rogan once said “get rich, if you can’t, get fit, if you can’t, get funny". my career in performance arts is going quite well. i’m a writer, musician, martial artist, despite being shorter than her, I walk quite tall haha

i’m just scared of disadvantageous circumstances.. in a level playing field, this kid wouldn't even be a competition.

 

so, folks, I don’t know if i’ve read her well.

 

saturday i’m driving us, including her 17 year old sister, and if he wants, the german guy to amsterdam for a day out. the others being 18 and 17 years old and single, it looks like a double date.

 

Shall I tell her that i’m beginning to like her in a romantic way at the end of saturday?

or would I be doing something inappropriate and unprofessional as (technically) her landlord?

 

If i get advised to go for it, if she rejects me, I hope she could stay here comfortable knowing that i’d be professional going forward, and i’ll keep being her friend if she wants that too.

 

I’m in a whirlpool of hope and despair my good samaritans help :/

I’m at a bad bad spot.

Edited August 24, 2018 by Farid
grammar

[Farid]

I'm so sorry for being a pain, I'm desperate. I hope I'm not breaking some double posing rules here dear mods.

 

I'll attach my original post as a comment under this so that it doesn't distract you.

 

the TLDR of it:

I'm male, 33, falling in love with housemate F20. I moved to Europe few years ago. I don't know the culture well, I don't want to embarrass myself.

 

So far we've been quite taken by each other. I've tentatively shown her that I like her in a romantic way, she has responded well.

 

She hasn't asked my age yet. I look between 24 and 27. Could it be she responded well to me showing my love because she thinks I'm closer to her age?

 

Tomorrow (August 25) we, with her sister and another german guy, going on a day out. It maybe my last chance to verbalize it to her that I like her in a romantic way. I'll be away for a while, and a lot of guys are chasing her.

 

I don't know what's appropriate. I'm at my wits end

[ExpatInItaly]

Just be honest and tell her. You don't need to panic; she's either okay with it or she's not.

 

Just be aware that if you're away for a long time, she might see other guys. How long will you be gone?

[Farid]

Just be honest and tell her. You don't need to panic; she's either okay with it or she's not.

 

Just be aware that if you're away for a long time, she might see other guys. How long will you be gone?

 

I'm at home only 1 week of the month. A second housemate moved in today. He is turning 18 in a couple of days, he is (I'm told handsome) but nerdy.

 

If I was here, I don't think she would go for a younger nerdy kid, but... with them living alone in an apartment, well it's "fuel and fire in a small container" kind of situation. it won't take much to ignite

[ExpatInItaly]

After reading the remaining details, I think you need to be careful here. You are idealizing her and have a romance fantasy already built up in your head. That can lead to a lot of disappointment if reality doesn't match, so I would caution you to keep your expectations in check. You still barely know her; give yourself more time to learn who she really is.

 

Also, given that you live together, confessing your feelings is a risk proposition. How will you feel if she doesn't reciprocate, or starts to bring home another guy? The new roommate may or may not be of interest to her, but that doesn't rule out the possibility of meeting other guys at school. Heck, she might already be dating someone and you just don't know it yet.

 

In other words, don't put the cart before the horse. Slow down and keep your feet on the ground.

Edited August 24, 2018 by ExpatInItaly

[d0nnivain]

I'm an American so I'm no more familiar with European dating practices then you are, probably less because you live there.

 

Falling for this housemate is a BAD idea on multiple levels.

 

1. When you date a housemate you have to go from zero to exclusive / committed in one fell swoop. There is no gradual build up. It's all or nothing so there is no real foundation. If you break up then where are you?

 

2. It's not the age difference is the life stage difference. She is a university student & a teenager. She's growing, changing & learning about the world. She has her whole life ahead of her. You are a fully formed adult. A grown man with a job approaching his mid 30s. She's young, vibrant & sexy, with just enough innocence for you to pluck like a ripe peach. You are the dashing older man who makes her feel worldly & sophisticated. Right now, the life gap is seemingly OK because in this moment you are on the same page. But in a year or two when she's ready to graduate she will have outgrown you. She'll be ready to head off into adulthood & you will be another part of college she leaves behind.

 

3. She will not be happy with a new BF who is only around 1 week a month.

 

 

I also don't understand the rush. She just moved in Aug. 19. If you have such little faith in her that as soon as the 18 year old guy moves in, they will start dating, you really have no business getting involved with her. On some level you recognize that 19 year old coeds are fickle in who they date so she could go through guys like water.

 

 

With you being the landlord, I really think you need to steer clear. When her lease is up & she's moving out, if you are still interested, then you can ask her out but not now while you are under the same roof.

[coolheadal]

I'm so sorry for being a pain, I'm desperate. I hope I'm not breaking some double posing rules here dear mods.

 

I'll attach my original post as a comment under this so that it doesn't distract you.

 

the TLDR of it:

I'm male, 33, falling in love with housemate F20. I moved to Europe few years ago. I don't know the culture well, I don't want to embarrass myself.

 

So far we've been quite taken by each other. I've tentatively shown her that I like her in a romantic way, she has responded well.

 

She hasn't asked my age yet. I look between 24 and 27. Could it be she responded well to me showing my love because she thinks I'm closer to her age?

 

Tomorrow (August 25) we, with her sister and another german guy, going on a day out. It maybe my last chance to verbalize it to her that I like her in a romantic way. I'll be away for a while, and a lot of guys are chasing her.

 

I don't know what's appropriate. I'm at my wits end

 

First she's 20 just 2 years after being 18, she's not going to settle down yet with you. She has to develop into 21, 22, 23, 24, by 25 she would be full adult right now she's a young adult. Your putting to much effort into this and taking away her young life she needs to develop your 33 as I say age doesn't matter but you need to sit down an talk to her and stop hiding your true age to her. Culture varies but still it boils down to what you want out of life. I see she's 20 sure we all would love to have 20 year old but face it your 33 if she really into you then. But my friend you have to wait until she reaches 25 to have something stable. your worried about who's there where your gone.

[Farid]

I'm an American so I'm no more familiar with European dating practices then you are, probably less because you live there.

 

Falling for this housemate is a BAD idea on multiple levels.

 

1. When you date a housemate you have to go from zero to exclusive / committed in one fell swoop. There is no gradual build up. It's all or nothing so there is no real foundation. If you break up then where are you?

 

2. It's not the age difference is the life stage difference. She is a university student & a teenager. She's growing, changing & learning about the world. She has her whole life ahead of her. You are a fully formed adult. A grown man with a job approaching his mid 30s. She's young, vibrant & sexy, with just enough innocence for you to pluck like a ripe peach. You are the dashing older man who makes her feel worldly & sophisticated. Right now, the life gap is seemingly OK because in this moment you are on the same page. But in a year or two when she's ready to graduate she will have outgrown you. She'll be ready to head off into adulthood & you will be another part of college she leaves behind.

 

3. She will not be happy with a new BF who is only around 1 week a month.

 

 

I also don't understand the rush. She just moved in Aug. 19. If you have such little faith in her that as soon as the 18 year old guy moves in, they will start dating, you really have no business getting involved with her. On some level you recognize that 19 year old coeds are fickle in who they date so she could go through guys like water.

 

 

With you being the landlord, I really think you need to steer clear. When her lease is up & she's moving out, if you are still interested, then you can ask her out but not now while you are under the same roof.

 

Thank you for taking the time mate.

 

One of the things we have in common is that she kinda considers herself "too old for all these partying $hit". she has had 3 reception parties at the uni, she has gone to each saying "pfff I wish I didn't have to", and came back going "grrrr these kids with their music and beer spillin!"

 

she has really driven the point "I'm not a party girl" home.

 

On "our paths may separate later on" brother... I'd take it if I could cuddle her for just one week. if it doesn't last, I'll be fine if she will too. if she won't be fine either, I don't see why we would separate.

 

Not to argue with you my good man, if you are still around, please consider those things too

Edited August 24, 2018 by Farid
typo

[d0nnivain]

I'm a woman.

 

Her not being a party girl is hardly a foundation for a relationship It's just her recognizing that an older man is over all that while her classmates are still in the party hearty phase of their lives

[Farid]

After reading the remaining details, I think you need to be careful here. You are idealizing her and have a romance fantasy already built up in your head. That can lead to a lot of disappointment if reality doesn't match, so I would caution you to keep your expectations in check. You still barely know her; give yourself more time to learn who she really is.

 

Also, given that you live together, confessing your feelings is a risk proposition. How will you feel if she doesn't reciprocate, or starts to bring home another guy? The new roommate may or may not be of interest to her, but that doesn't rule out the possibility of meeting other guys at school. Heck, she might already be dating someone and you just don't know it yet.

 

In other words, don't put the cart before the horse. Slow down and keep your feet on the ground.

 

I appreciate your advice good soul. God bless

[Lotsgoingon]

Tough one ...

 

So easy to fall in love with someone with a great personality who is happy and pleasant and offers to cook food for you when you don't feel so well.

 

It is not impossible that she likes you romantically ... But I would say the odds are 1 in 100,000.

 

The best way to go about this is to basically not act on your feelings for now ... for one, your feelings could be fleeting and they will change the more you live with her and get to know her.

 

Second, you can gradually ask her out to visit cafes, museums and so on ... and later spend time with her outside the house ... and see how she reacts.

 

But there is no rush. Don't buy into "I'm totally in love. I have to tell her this now." If this is a real connection, it'll be there later ... especially since you're living with her.

 

There will be some significant cultural differences between you ... those reveal themselves often over time ... You want to let time to pass so you can notice these differences and see if they are fatal for some kind of serious relationship.

 

Finally, it's so easy for a 33-year-old man to fall for a 20-year-old woman ... and yes, in Western societies, that is a significant gap. Age 33 and age 20 are hugely different places in the life cycle. You're setting into a second phase of adulthood ... She hasn't fully entered her first phase.

 

So for example the difference in life agendas between someone 33 and someone 20 ... is much LARGER than say 43 and 30 ... or 53 and 40 ... and you should know that a lot of Western folks consider 43 and 30 to be quite a big gap. A lot of women don't want to date someone 13 years older. (A lot are OK with this with the right person.)

 

So chill! ... She probably is just a very open-minded and warm person and she sees you as an uncle type. Continue with your life. If there is something there, it'll be there in a year ... and in that period, you can really get to know her and let her know you.

[Farid]

First she's 20 just 2 years after being 18, she's not going to settle down yet with you. She has to develop into 21, 22, 23, 24, by 25 she would be full adult right now she's a young adult. Your putting to much effort into this and taking away her young life she needs to develop your 33 as I say age doesn't matter but you need to sit down an talk to her and stop hiding your true age to her. Culture varies but still it boils down to what you want out of life. I see she's 20 sure we all would love to have 20 year old but face it your 33 if she really into you then. But my friend you have to wait until she reaches 25 to have something stable. your worried about who's there where your gone.

 

"taking her young life"... my good samaritan, I'm not a vampire haha

 

I'm not hiding my age jesus I would never. I just haven't taken the initiative to tell her. actually she may know. we talked a lot 2 months ago, it may have come up.. please don't get me wrong, I don't look, or consider myself too old. all i'm worried is her being attacked by twitter hate hordes. i'm willing to stand the heat.

 

i'm not planning to die young either haha, in Polynesia we eat well and get into our 90s. on top of that I've been/and will be a life long martial artist.. I regularly beat 20 year olds at the gym. so, no those things don't worry me.

 

your advice about telling her, yes, I understand. others have said the same.

thank your for taking the time

Edited August 24, 2018 by Farid

[Farid]

I'm a woman.

 

Her not being a party girl is hardly a foundation for a relationship It's just her recognizing that an older man is over all that while her classmates are still in the party hearty phase of their lives

 

can you use dots and commas please. my english isn't very strong dear

[Farid]

Tough one ...

 

So easy to fall in love with someone with a great personality who is happy and pleasant and offers to cook food for you when you don't feel so well.

 

It is not impossible that she likes you romantically ... But I would say the odds are 1 in 100,000.

 

The best way to go about this is to basically not act on your feelings for now ... for one, your feelings could be fleeting and they will change the more you live with her and get to know her.

 

Second, you can gradually ask her out to visit cafes, museums and so on ... and later spend time with her outside the house ... and see how she reacts.

 

But there is no rush. Don't buy into "I'm totally in love. I have to tell her this now." If this is a real connection, it'll be there later ... especially since you're living with her.

 

There will be some significant cultural differences between you ... those reveal themselves often over time ... You want to let time to pass so you can notice these differences and see if they are fatal for some kind of serious relationship.

 

Finally, it's so easy for a 33-year-old man to fall for a 20-year-old woman ... and yes, in Western societies, that is a significant gap. Age 33 and age 20 are hugely different places in the life cycle. You're setting into a second phase of adulthood ... She hasn't fully entered her first phase.

 

So for example the difference in life agendas between someone 33 and someone 20 ... is much LARGER than say 43 and 30 ... or 53 and 40 ... and you should know that a lot of Western folks consider 43 and 30 to be quite a big gap. A lot of women don't want to date someone 13 years older. (A lot are OK with this with the right person.)

 

So chill! ... She probably is just a very open-minded and warm person and she sees you as an uncle type. Continue with your life. If there is something there, it'll be there in a year ... and in that period, you can really get to know her and let her know you.

 

This is the most reassuring, and thought through advice I've gotten so far. Many thanks good soul.

 

Yes, if the connection fades away because she is meeting new guys, then it wasn't really there was it ha

 

It's a fantastic idea to ask her to go to dinner etc (btw so far she hasn't said no to a single one) and hey that will show it. hanging out together + time will surely show it

 

Give yourself a hug from me will you!

 

the "uncle" part cracked me up btw just for the record, I look 24 and dress more fashionable then all her classmates but hey, who am I to say right hahaha

[Farid]

Oh folks, this place is flooded with kind hearts. Thank you all so much!

[clia]

saturday i’m driving us, including her 17 year old sister, and if he wants, the german guy to amsterdam for a day out. the others being 18 and 17 years old and single, it looks like a double date.

 

I'm confused why a 33 year old many is spending the day out with a bunch of teenagers.

 

Shall I tell her that i’m beginning to like her in a romantic way at the end of saturday?

or would I be doing something inappropriate and unprofessional as (technically) her landlord?

 

You've known her FIVE days.

 

No, you should not say anything, for many reasons.

 

If she does like you, it will eventually come out. For now, I think it's way too soon to unload your feelings on her. She's much younger than you and just moved in to your house. If she decides she likes the other guy, you pouring out your feelings to her now isn't going to change that.

 

If i get advised to go for it, if she rejects me, I hope she could stay here comfortable knowing that i’d be professional going forward, and i’ll keep being her friend if she wants that too.

 

She's at the start of a six month lease and it could be very uncomfortable for her to have to reject you now.

[Farid]

I'm confused why a 33 year old many is spending the day out with a bunch of teenagers.

 

 

 

You've known her FIVE days.

 

No, you should not say anything, for many reasons.

 

If she does like you, it will eventually come out. For now, I think it's way too soon to unload your feelings on her. She's much younger than you and just moved in to your house. If she decides she likes the other guy, you pouring out your feelings to her now isn't going to change that.

 

 

 

She's at the start of a six month lease and it could be very uncomfortable for her to have to reject you now.

 

The "33 year old" didn't plan it. She had asked me to "show her the city".

When it became clear that she wouldn't have time, she suggested doing so Saturday. When talking about where to go, we ended up deciding to go to Amsterdam.

 

Then her sister contacted her saying that she wanted to visit. I said ok then we pospone the saturday plan. she, I repeat she, suggested taking her siste rand the new guy with us.

 

That's how "a 33 year old" ended up with a plan to "to spend the day out with teenagers" jesus christ some of you have a tallent in making things look creepy.

 

the rest is good. thank you for your good advice.

 

oh, and 20 isn't teen

[coolheadal]

"taking her young life"... my good samaritan, I'm not a vampire haha

 

I'm not hiding my age jesus I would never. I just haven't taken the initiative to tell her. actually she may know. we talked a lot 2 months ago, it may have come up.. please don't get me wrong, I don't look, or consider myself too old. all i'm worried is her being attacked by twitter hate hordes. i'm willing to stand the heat.

 

i'm not planning to die young either haha, in Polynesia we eat well and get into our 90s. on top of that I've been/and will be a life long martial artist.. I regularly beat 20 year olds at the gym. so, no those things don't worry me.

 

your advice about telling her, yes, I understand. others have said the same.

thank your for taking the time

 

 

No you didn't understand me I talking about her not you. She's 20 she needs to develop into adult woman. She's inexperience young adult. Even at 21 still inexperience. Your older so you know the rules in your country, well you can ask her what you want but I am saying tell what you told us.

[Farid]

No you didn't understand me I talking about her not you. She's 20 she needs to develop into adult woman. She's inexperience young adult. Even at 21 still inexperience. Your older so you know the rules in your country, well you can ask her what you want but I am saying tell what you told us.

 

I'm considering telling her everything. Some say it's too early.

 

I think you are both right. I should tell, but later. As it was mentioned: I know her only for 5 freaking days.

 

When the time is right, I'm even considering sending her a link to this whole thread. She'll at least know how hard I tried to do the right thing.

[coolheadal]

I'm considering telling her everything. Some say it's too early.

 

I think you are both right. I should tell, but later. As it was mentioned: I know her only for 5 freaking days.

 

When the time is right, I'm even considering sending her a link to this whole thread. She'll at least know how hard I tried to do the right thing.

 

5 days really.. Okay it's in your court.. Do what you must do to make it happen.

[Lotsgoingon]

Totally fine to show the young people around Amsterdam.

 

You're just the age to not be too old to be fun ... and yet you're old enough that they can feel secure with your maturity. (Don't let them down with that last one--no need to pretend you're 17 or 18.)

 

But you will learn a lot from the young people and they from you ... Sounds fantastic to me ... Just no professions of love so soon. Trust me: if there is real chemistry, you'll find it over the course of a year of having her live your place. Absolutely no need to force things ...

 

And really you might pick up social skills and have so much fun just playing it cool and calm with this young person that overall your social life and social confidence improves ... and you emerge a happier, more suave, person ... Not a bad deal!

[Farid]

Totally fine to show the young people around Amsterdam.

 

You're just the age to not be too old to be fun ... and yet you're old enough that they can feel secure with your maturity. (Don't let them down with that last one--no need to pretend you're 17 or 18.)

 

But you will learn a lot from the young people and they from you ... Sounds fantastic to me ... Just no professions of love so soon. Trust me: if there is real chemistry, you'll find it over the course of a year of having her live your place. Absolutely no need to force things ...

 

And really you might pick up social skills and have so much fun just playing it cool and calm with this young person that overall your social life and social confidence improves ... and you emerge a happier, more suave, person ... Not a bad deal!

 

Oh no I don't feel the need to "act young" my good samaritan.

 

I'm a musician, performance artist, martial artist, I'm dressed more fashionable, I'm coolest of the bunch and I'm not trying. I swear to God I'm not trying.

 

Please don't get me wrong, I'm not full of myself. If you've read my first post, you may have seen me beating my ego to a pulp! haha

 

When I perform on stage, my "colleagues" are between the ages of 20 and 30. I have plenty of social skills

 

As you may see I'm not despairing any longer. As you and some others said, if there is something, it will show. I'm already grateful that I get to have such an amazing housemate.

 

Take care good soul, god bless

Edited August 25, 2018 by Farid
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[Farid]

(Dear mods I tried to enter this above my original post, but it's no longer editable. If you tell me how to, I can do it myself next time)

 

I hadn't asked, but she had developed the habit of telling me where she was going and when she would return, even if she was going to a shop for half an hour.

 

3 days ago she went to class saying that she would return on 7pm. One of my friends, Z, who kinda knew her wanted to say hi. I told him to come in the evening because she would be home. She came home at 11pm. Z had left by then.

 

I didn't even wanna mention it because it's really not a big deal. She asked what I was up to that day and I said Z wanted to say hi, I told him that you'd be home by 7, etc.

 

She said "Oh I'm sorry I hanged out with some friends." She was stoned...

 

The next day we were hanging out in the living room with her, her sister, the new guy, when she said hey what we will we eat for dinner. After some discussion we settled on pizza.

 

Since she had cooked the last time, I said ok then tomorrow I'll make pasta.

They all agreed and when we went grocery shopping, we discussed it at least 2 more times when choosing the sous for pasta.

 

The next day came. She and her sister went to eat out for lunch.

In the evening the new guy and I waited and waited but the sisters didn't show up.

 

At 9pm we decided to eat without them.

At 10 they showed up. I said "we waited till 9, then we had to eat, we got hungry".

 

She pretended that there was no plan to eat together. I said we discussed it at least 3 times; when the new guy confirmed, she... idk how to describe this.. the way she apologized looked like she owed me something. As if she stood up someone she was dating.. (weird.. but ok..)

 

With a mixture of sadness and anxiety in her face she said "I'm very sorry".

I told her that it really didn't matter and in fact I've left her some pasta in the fridge..

 

So yea.. a mixture of somewhat bizarre behavior.

 

As for how I feel towards her.. after saying she'd be there twice and not doing so, I don't think I'm so into her so much anymore. See, my adoration was a two way street. I'd never stood her up. When she did, I suddenly didn't feel the same towards her.

 

The fist time.. ok, she forgot.. the second time, as the new guy confirmed, there was no way for her "not to be aware that there was such a plan".

 

So yea.. this is kinda bad and good. I feel much better not having those stupid teenager, butterfly belly feelings towards her.. on the other hand.. for a day or two I believed heaven was within reach.. I got a glimpse of paradise..

 

oh well.. she inspired at least two new songs haha.

 

To be continued... (maybe)

[MidwestUSA]

What you're seeing is the immaturity of a 20 year old, and a stoner at that. You two are at completely different life stages.

 

Sorry, this age gap might not matter if you were 50, and she was 37, but as is, this will never work.

 

Make no further contact with her, and see how she responds. You'll have your answer.

[d0nnivain]

You are her relatively fun landlord. She has no other interest in you. Please don't pursue this.