mkaur215 Posted August 28, 2018 Posted August 28, 2018 Hi everyone, i met a guy off a dating app and we went for our first date on friday night. We hung out from 6-11pm and even close to 11pm we didnt want to stop talking. Right after I got home that night and the following day he kept messaging how he bad such a great time and was glad we matched and i told him the same and we decided to meet up again this Thursday. Well comes Sunday he didnt text me as much and me being the weirdo that i am i told him in a jokingly way hes a bad texter and be then mentioned he was out with his grandma hence the reason why he didnt msg as much i told him sorry if i came off too weird he said it was ok and that he shouldve mentioned it to me. On Monday he didnt Message me at all the whole day and i texted him at 7pm no response and i left it at that. Now its tuesday morning and i msged him hadnt heard from u yesterday hope everything is ok at 8am and still no response. I dont get why hes not messaging back, he made it pretty clear he was into me and even stated it himself and we had a great time the cwhycis he ghosting me all of a sudden now?
clia Posted August 28, 2018 Posted August 28, 2018 Time will tell if you've been ghosted, but for now you need to slow down. You've been on one date with this guy 4 days ago and are really pushing the boundaries of clingy through your actions. Well comes Sunday he didnt text me as much and me being the weirdo that i am i told him in a jokingly way hes a bad texter and be then mentioned he was out with his grandma hence the reason why he didnt msg as much i told him sorry if i came off too weird he said it was ok and that he shouldve mentioned it to me. You said he messaged you a lot on Saturday, and he slows down on Sunday because he is out doing things and you are already giving him crap about it? For me, this would be a pink flag. On Monday he didnt Message me at all the whole day and i texted him at 7pm no response and i left it at that. Now its tuesday morning and i msged him hadnt heard from u yesterday hope everything is ok at 8am and still no response. You texted him at 7 p.m. and then at 8 a.m. the next day. You've hardly even given him a chance to respond. You have no idea what he was doing last night. He might've been out with friends or co-workers or with his family or at the movies or playing a sport or something to do with a hobby or any number of things. Personally, if I don't see a message right away, I don't text people back late at night because I don't want to take the chance of waking them up, so he might've been waiting until today to respond to you, but you texted him again at 8 a.m. It's too much. This would be a pink flag to me also. You just met him and have been on one date. He's under no obligation to be texting you all the time or even every day. You (presumably) have a date set up with him on Thursday. Stop chasing. 1
Zahara Posted August 28, 2018 Posted August 28, 2018 (edited) Hi everyone, i met a guy off a dating app and we went for our first date on friday night. We hung out from 6-11pm and even close to 11pm we didnt want to stop talking. Right after I got home that night and the following day he kept messaging how he bad such a great time and was glad we matched and i told him the same and we decided to meet up again this Thursday. Well comes Sunday he didnt text me as much and me <snip> You met him on a dating app and it is likely that he is communicating and dating other people as well, which you should be doing too rather than suffocating this one prospect. You have only been on one date and it's only been days since you met and you're coming off borderline clingy. Step back, stop texting him and let him reach out when he can. Edited August 28, 2018 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Truncate quote 1
smackie9 Posted August 28, 2018 Posted August 28, 2018 Welcome to the world of dating. The only advice I can give you is: Guys don't text you back because they don't want to. If they don't respond, stop texting and wait for the day of the date, for them to contact you or you yourself can text you are looking forward to seeing them. That's it. Always be aware that you are not the only option they have. it's very possible they are contacting other women for dates. Just because it went really well, doesn't guarantee you another date or a new BF. 1
kendahke Posted August 28, 2018 Posted August 28, 2018 me being the weirdo that i am Actually, it's you being impatient, rushing things, expecting devotion out of someone you went on one date with. To start giving grief to someone who is basically a stranger over not returning a text within a certain amount of time is a bit excessive. Talking a ton on an app isn't the same as having had consistent knowledge of them. Those 5 hours you two hung out together for the first time isn't enough time for you to have grown and cultivated this level of expectation---and now that expectation bush you planted is sowing seeds of resentment because he's not meeting said expectations. Despite how Saturday went, his interest isn't engaged. Chasing him down with text tsunamis isn't going to get you where you want to be with him. Leave him be and see if his interest will pick back up. If it doesn't , leave him alone and learn to self-soothe. 2
ExpatInItaly Posted August 28, 2018 Posted August 28, 2018 As the others have already pointed out, you are coming on too strongly now. Stop all the texting. Let him come to you. At this point, I would imagine he's a bit irritated by your persistence. Having said that, I have to also ask if you feel you're really ready to date again. Your recent threads indicate you're still struggling to come to terms with your break-up. It might be a better idea to take a little time off and learn to be happy single again. Work on your confidence. That way, you won't hit the panic button when guys you barely know don't respond to you right away.
dranoel Posted August 28, 2018 Posted August 28, 2018 You've made your interest plain and clear, now the ball is in his court. Don't spend more energy and time stressing about it, and don't contact him again unless you get a response first. Men like to pursue women at the start of a relationship, and the more you make your availability and desire clear, the less he'll see you as a "prize" - something he has to work towards and respect to win. Maybe he's ghosting you, maybe something more important has come up, maybe another woman came into the picture since, maybe he changed his mind. If he doesn't contact you again, or does so inconsistently and this still bothers you, I suggest you read a few chapters of that book "He's Just Not That Into You." It is really enlightening and clears up muddiness and confusion at times like these. One of the basic concepts given is that if a guy is into you, he will contact you. Plain and simple. He will contact you and pursue you and ask you out. If not, then he's just not that into you, and you'll do yourself a favour to move on and find someone who is. So moral of the story... set this aside, move on with life, and forget about it until he messages you. And if he never does, you have your answer.
Confoosedgal Posted August 28, 2018 Posted August 28, 2018 You have to play hard to get, especially when it comes to men. You came off a little too pushy, and a little needy. It takes me a long time to really like a guy, so I honestly have always waited for the guy to text me, and if he didn't, I'd shrug my shoulders and move on. It's too early to tell whether you've been ghosted. Stop texting him and wait for him to set up. The ball is in his court now. Be patient and wait. If he doesn't set it up, move on and find someone else. Take these rules in mind... Here are a few things I learned it while online dating as a 27-year old female. 1. ALWAYS wait for them to text you first, even if you felt that he fell in love with you, you must to wait for him to make the first move. If he really liked you, he will text you, at least to say good night or that he had a good time. 2. Do not text him on a daily basis, and do not expect him to text you on a daily basis, especially if you had only one or two dates. Unless, he is sending you good morning texts every day, and he consistently initiates it. For me personally, I would get turned off when men would jokingly tell me, "You take so long to text!" It comes off needy, like they have nothing better to do than wait by the phone. There was one guy I went on a few dates with and we would text on a daily basis, But we would only send each other one or two messages a day, neither of us complained about it and it turned out to be a healthy relationship. 3. Wait for him to set up the next date. Do not remind him! If you really likes you he will plan it out and he will remember. If he says something specific like, "Let's go out again next Thursday!" Wait for him to set it up or you can text him Wednesday afternoon and sayy, "Hey what's up?" Act casual. If he doesn't set it up, let him go. 4. Do not meet him at his apartment or house. they will persuade you to enter for whatever reason, and if you sleep with him early, the chase is over and he may never call you again. 1
BC1980 Posted August 28, 2018 Posted August 28, 2018 Yeah, he ghosted you. There could be any number of reasons. He might be dating other people, but you probably came on too strong with the texting. Texting is not a good way to get to know a person. The best function of texting is convenience. I actually wouldn't text very much at the beginning of a relationship.
Versacehottie Posted August 29, 2018 Posted August 29, 2018 agree with the others. Texting him in the manner you did, made you feel like an obligation to him rather than "fun". Too much, too soon, acted as if you were already dating/in a relationship.
Author mkaur215 Posted August 30, 2018 Author Posted August 30, 2018 Thank you for everyones replies. Yes i must have scared him off becsuse it has been two days since i reached out and he hasn’t messaged either since sunday Idk why its seen as a bad thing to show someone you look forward to hearing from them? I thought he would view my actions as someone sho isnt into the texting games and is straight up with their emotions. But i guess nowadays its seen as a negative thing. I let my excitement get the hold of me i guess but its a lesson learned i guess. 1
Redhead14 Posted August 30, 2018 Posted August 30, 2018 (edited) Thank you for everyones replies. Yes i must have scared him off becsuse it has been two days since i reached out and he hasn’t messaged either since sunday Idk why its seen as a bad thing to show someone you look forward to hearing from them? I thought he would view my actions as someone sho isnt into the texting games and is straight up with their emotions. But i guess nowadays its seen as a negative thing. I let my excitement get the hold of me i guess but its a lesson learned i guess. I dont get why hes not messaging back - The only thing you know for sure about this guy is that he's not messaging back PERIOD. No response, is no interest. Idk why its seen as a bad thing to show someone you look forward to hearing from them? - You don't know that this is the reason he's not responding. And, if this is the reason, it's about HIM, not you. Someone else may be all good with that. Get out of his head and give your own head a break. Move on. Edited August 30, 2018 by Redhead14 1
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