norudder Posted August 25, 2018 Posted August 25, 2018 Met a guy earlier this week at a work group. We don't work together or for the same place but will see each other maybe once a month for this council. He was looking at me during the meeting and made a b-line so I was his first introduction. There was a follow up email w contact info. I mentioned a few things and he said he'd like to hear more of my thoughts. We had coffee yesterday for an hour and a half. It started kind of awkward because I don't think either of us were sure whether it was networking or personal. We were both flirting though. He hinted at continuing on but I had to get to work. We both remarked on enjoying the conversation. Definitely felt like there was a vibe between us. Texted outside of work hours a bit. I had mentioned a park I run at during our chat and invited him to join me Mon. I thought that would make it clearer I am interested in him outside of work and be an opportunity to get to know each other better and explore that, in case he thought I had brushed him off that morning. He said he would but is busy right now and getting ready to leave Wed for work trips, 2 weeks. I left it open to another time and he gave a definitive yes but no date or alternatives. Wished him a good trip. How do I read this if at all? Was it a gentle let down with the generic "too busy"? If he was really interested couldn't we fit in drinks for an hour in one of the 2 nights before he goes? Do I suggest it or just let it go and see if he reaches out when he gets back?
Redhead14 Posted August 25, 2018 Posted August 25, 2018 Met a guy earlier this week at a work group. We don't work together or for the same place but will see each other maybe once a month for this council. He was looking at me during the meeting and made a b-line so I was his first introduction. There was a follow up email w contact info. I mentioned a few things and he said he'd like to hear more of my thoughts. We had coffee yesterday for an hour and a half. It started kind of awkward because I don't think either of us were sure whether it was networking or personal. We were both flirting though. He hinted at continuing on but I had to get to work. We both remarked on enjoying the conversation. Definitely felt like there was a vibe between us. Texted outside of work hours a bit. I had mentioned a park I run at during our chat and invited him to join me Mon. I thought that would make it clearer I am interested in him outside of work and be an opportunity to get to know each other better and explore that, in case he thought I had brushed him off that morning. He said he would but is busy right now and getting ready to leave Wed for work trips, 2 weeks. I left it open to another time and he gave a definitive yes but no date or alternatives. Wished him a good trip. How do I read this if at all? Was it a gentle let down with the generic "too busy"? If he was really interested couldn't we fit in drinks for an hour in one of the 2 nights before he goes? Do I suggest it or just let it go and see if he reaches out when he gets back? You already made the leap for the first move. Let him reciprocate if he's going to. Sit back and observe. He is going away for two weeks, lots of things to do to get ready I'd say. It would be a really nice sign of interest if he invites you on one of those nights. So don't pre-empt that possibility. I'd say let it be for a bit. 1
alphamale Posted August 25, 2018 Posted August 25, 2018 I think you've made it obvious that you dig him. Let him make the next move. 3
Author norudder Posted August 25, 2018 Author Posted August 25, 2018 Going to reign myself in and sit tight to see if he pursues further. 1
alphamale Posted August 26, 2018 Posted August 26, 2018 Going to reign myself in and sit tight to see if he pursues further. good plan norudder, hope all turns out well
Desesperado Posted August 26, 2018 Posted August 26, 2018 I think you've made it obvious that you dig him. Let him make the next move. She initiated and for this I applaud, women who go for what they want are the ones happy nowadays, standing back and waiting for the "chicken to grill itself" is really stupid and boring. But did she really make it obvious it's personal ? Jogging really ? What if he hates jogging ? Honestly call me old fashionned or cliché, when i invite a woman I make it clear it's a date, mostly restaurant or at least intimate setting for the 2 of us. I wouldn't really see jogging as dating sorry, a picnic in the parc yes but running red and sweating alongside each other isn't my definition of trying to get more intimate...
Author norudder Posted August 26, 2018 Author Posted August 26, 2018 She initiated and for this I applaud, women who go for what they want are the ones happy nowadays, standing back and waiting for the "chicken to grill itself" is really stupid and boring. But did she really make it obvious it's personal ? Jogging really ? What if he hates jogging ? Honestly call me old fashionned or cliché, when i invite a woman I make it clear it's a date, mostly restaurant or at least intimate setting for the 2 of us. I wouldn't really see jogging as dating sorry, a picnic in the parc yes but running red and sweating alongside each other isn't my definition of trying to get more intimate... Well, he doesn't hate running. It's something we have in common as a hobby and he said it would be great. BUT fitness is also part of what we do professionally so it could still be read either way. Thanks for bringing up your points, Im not the shrinking violet type of woman but I realize there is a dance to the courting process Even in friendships if one person is always the one initiating without reciprocity it doesn't feel very good. So I think if nothing else, I extended an invite that was declined and will see if there's reciprocation. I showed an interest in wanting to get together again, if he has romantic interest I would think he'd follow up regardless of how clear my intentions were because it's an opportunity to find out.
d0nnivain Posted August 26, 2018 Posted August 26, 2018 Because the I'm too busy wasn't immediately followed with an alternate suggestion, I think you are right to leave this lie. If he does come back after these 2 business trips, you can revisit the issue but outside of this council, I doubt you will hear from him. Sorry. 1
Author norudder Posted October 12, 2018 Author Posted October 12, 2018 So he was brought in to advise on a work matter. Found out he actually cancelled one of his trips because he was in the hospital for several weeks at the first location because of an infection. He'd just recently returned. Lunch wouldn't work for me and he suggested breakfast. So I'm still not sure how to read this. Lunch is still casual and professional but finding the time for breakfast, not just a coffee, is more intentional right? He only reached out after we were in touch through external circumstances. Maybe it was out of sight out mind with everything he had going on, we'd only met up once after all. Should I try to get more clarity this time around during conversation or just keep up the daytime get togethers and see if he makes a move to make it more?
hippychick3 Posted October 12, 2018 Posted October 12, 2018 I would show enthusiasm and interest but let him lead and initiate any kind of date beyond breakfast.
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