OCCDAVE Posted September 6, 2005 Posted September 6, 2005 Well i met this girl and things are going pretty good but i found out she has a kid.She told me her kid stays with his father on the weekends so this may be a dumb question but if she has no problem with the father seeing the kid why do you guys think she is single.My other question should the fact she has a kid scare me off cause it sorta does have me a bit confused since she still has contact with the ex and i don't wanna get into a jerry springer angle over a kid who's his
danny8630 Posted September 6, 2005 Posted September 6, 2005 whats up man. You and I almost have the same scenario. My GF is 22 with an almost 2 year old toddler...I am almost 19.... To answer question 1: they could be separated for a number of reasons--maybe she found out she was cheating on her, maybe she just didnt like him, maybe the child was un-intentional. She is letting the child see the biological father because after all...he is the childs father and children do need all the parental guidance as they can get. Plus since she cares for the child almost the whole time, it would be a break for her on the weekends. Question 2 : you won't have to worry about any Jerry Spring episodes because for one the child is already born and for two , u guys are NOT married therefor you have 0 connection to the child. Now you should talk to your gf about the father and ask her if he is still hung up on her or jealous or anything like that. That way you have a heads up if he is a crazy guy. good luck man, if you have any questions PM me
johan Posted September 6, 2005 Posted September 6, 2005 if she has no problem with the father seeing the kid why do you guys think she is single. I don't understand your concern. This is very common. should the fact she has a kid scare me off cause it sorta does have me a bit confused since she still has contact with the ex and i don't wanna get into a jerry springer angle over a kid who's his Well, keep in mind your interaction with the kid is going to make a big difference in how she feels about you. She may not be looking for a father figure for the kid, because the dad is still around. So that takes some of the pressure off. Unless she thinks he's a bad father. Don't fake interest in the kid. You don't have to be the fun guy from the word go. Kids pick up on BS as well as anyone else. You have two relationships to develop. You have to get to know the kid, just like you had to get to know her. Just be yourself. If the kid's a brat, keep in mind that discipline is NOT your job. But that doesn't mean you have to be a pushover with the kid either. You can enforce your own standards in the relationship you have with the kid. Putting him/her in a corner probably won't be an option for you. But you can discuss discipline with the mom when discipline is an issue. I don't know about having to compete with the real dad. I think this is kind of rare, but when it happens I'm sure it sucks. This is another situation where deferring to her judgment would be smart. For a long time you'll just be along for the ride.
Author OCCDAVE Posted September 6, 2005 Author Posted September 6, 2005 Thanks a ton guys for the advice if i have any questions i'll let you know:)
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