Albz98 Posted August 25, 2018 Posted August 25, 2018 (edited) Hi everyone!! First, I'll talk about myself. I am a French Canadian so sorry in advance for the typos. Also I am 19 (turning 20 this Sunday!) and I just go dumb by my girlfriend. She left two months ago for someone else. I am still **** up from that breakup and wouldn't hesitate to take her back if I have the chance to. I still think about her all the time. (Can't move the **** on) Anyway, I am not here to talk about that. I just came to realize that the ideal girls just don't exist or are very hard to find... You guys might think it's because I'm not over my ex or I'm picky as ****. That is half true. Actually, I am for sure not over my ex and am also a little bit picky. Let me explain, I think the ideal woman for me as to be smart, charming, caring, loving and loyal since my last GF left me for someone else. Another thing that is very important for me is the fact that she has to be authentic and that she have to have a big heart. The physique does matter to me but the first attribute is more important than the physical part. The physique has to have a minimum. So the girl have to take care of her body and of me obviously. Basically, I'm looking for a "mom" even tho I'm just 19. My goal in life is to be a father since my father wasn't very present in my life, I kinda want to break the curse you know. After reading those general conditions, you would of think that there is plenty of girl that meet those expectation. You are absolutely right. Be here's the tricky part. I want a girl that have a limited number of sexual partners... and living in a big city it's kinda rare. Like most of girls at my university they are have ****ed like 20+ guys. I think of those girls poorly even if they meet the expectations above. I want a girl that respect herself enough to go fooling around like that. I feel like in this millennial generation most of girls fool around like that especially in big city. And if the girl meet all the expectation I have, she is most likely to already be in a relationship... I feel like I'm going to be single for the rest of my life. Also, I'm not that of a good looking guy that why I'm thinking that of myself. I'm only 5"5 and kinda skinny too and very shy. And I have a baby face. Everyone thinks I'm still a high schooler even tho I study at an university. Anyways, thanks for the replies for those who read the whole thing you guys/girls are the real MVP!!! Edited August 25, 2018 by Albz98
basil67 Posted August 25, 2018 Posted August 25, 2018 Albz98, nobody's ideal person exists. Don't waste your life chasing a dream. 3
grays Posted August 25, 2018 Posted August 25, 2018 Why are you so hung up on her having such limited sexual experience? My husband had only been w two women before me and I have no doubt that part of the reason he had an affair after 25 hrs of marriage was that he'd been with so few people, felt like he wanted to have new/different experiences. Sucked for me. I wish he'd been around the block a couple more times. 1
glows Posted August 25, 2018 Posted August 25, 2018 I'm going to speak patiently and gently with you because you're very young but I want to make sure you understand that many women will NOT have any patience with your misogynistic or sexist agenda. What you're asking for is a bit half-baked and immature. Smart women will know that they have choices and they will orient their lives achieving goals that lead them to options. What does this mean? It means SMART women won't want to baby a man or take care of a man because they know that a SMART man takes care of himself. Like attracts like and, yes, birds of a feather do eventually find one another. Why? Core similarities matter, shared beliefs and values matter. Smart women also will want to exercise their right to whatever options they have and eventually will exercise their right to make decisions including the men (or other women) they choose to sleep with. You are mixing up general stupidity of the overall populace with sexual promiscuity. Intelligence and integrity does not necessarily mean virginity or chastity. Until you learn this, you won't really be releasing yourself from your negativity or negative outlook on women your age. I think you are misappropriating your disdain and confused. Instead, practice having a more neutral outlook and accepting others for who they are. You don't have to agree with it and you don't have to date someone incompatible with you but you do have to learn to live with others in this world and being intolerable, rude and sexist isn't going to get you far in the dating department or meeting new people. Good luck. 3
damni Posted August 25, 2018 Posted August 25, 2018 Yeah a lot of women would not date a short man, so its hard all round isn't it;) 1
basil67 Posted August 25, 2018 Posted August 25, 2018 Following on from Portia, a woman who has the strong interpersonal skills you require is going to want a guy who can match her in terms of high level social skills, smarts and charm. Being perfectly frank, your description of yourself as "very shy" just won't cut it. I'm having a bit of a chuckle about you thinking that girls who have slept with a few guys are a millennial thing. It was no different back when I was a your age in the 1980's....and even before. Ever since the Pill was available to unmarried women really. 2
coolheadal Posted August 25, 2018 Posted August 25, 2018 Hi everyone!! First, I'll talk about myself. I am a French Canadian so sorry in advance for the typos. Also I am 19 (turning 20 this Sunday!) and I just go dumb by my girlfriend. She left two months ago for someone else. I am still **** up from that breakup and wouldn't hesitate to take her back if I have the chance to. I still think about her all the time. (Can't move the **** on) Anyway, I am not here to talk about that. I just came to realize that the ideal girls just don't exist or are very hard to find... You guys might think it's because I'm not over my ex or I'm picky as ****. That is half true. Actually, I am for sure not over my ex and am also a little bit picky. Let me explain, I think the ideal woman for me as to be smart, charming, caring, loving and loyal since my last GF left me for someone else. Another thing that is very important for me is the fact that she has to be authentic and that she have to have a big heart. The physique does matter to me but the first attribute is more important than the physical part. The physique has to have a minimum. So the girl have to take care of her body and of me obviously. Basically, I'm looking for a "mom" even tho I'm just 19. My goal in life is to be a father since my father wasn't very present in my life, I kinda want to break the curse you know. After reading those general conditions, you would of think that there is plenty of girl that meet those expectation. You are absolutely right. Be here's the tricky part. I want a girl that have a limited number of sexual partners... and living in a big city it's kinda rare. Like most of girls at my university they are have ****ed like 20+ guys. I think of those girls poorly even if they meet the expectations above. I want a girl that respect herself enough to go fooling around like that. I feel like in this millennial generation most of girls fool around like that especially in big city. And if the girl meet all the expectation I have, she is most likely to already be in a relationship... I feel like I'm going to be single for the rest of my life. Also, I'm not that of a good looking guy that why I'm thinking that of myself. I'm only 5"5 and kinda skinny too and very shy. And I have a baby face. Everyone thinks I'm still a high schooler even tho I study at an university. Anyways, thanks for the replies for those who read the whole thing you guys/girls are the real MVP!!! She does exist in your heart and mind. Soulmate is out there until you figure it out she might be someone you already know but you think she's not.
d0nnivain Posted August 25, 2018 Posted August 25, 2018 Happy birthday. Right now you see everything through a negative filter because you are upset about the end of your relationship. When those clouds clear you will become more optimistic again. The woman you want is out there. You simply haven't met her yet. All the women you see out & about at school who have lots of sexual partners are the party girls. They are visible around campus. The woman you want will be harder to spot because she is probably shy herself, spending Saturday night at home, not at a party. Give yourself some more time to mourn the loss of your relationship. Then when you are ready get back out there but focus more on the quiet girl from class not the life of the party. 1
basil67 Posted August 25, 2018 Posted August 25, 2018 The woman you want will be harder to spot because she is probably shy herself, spending Saturday night at home, not at a party. Truth right here. Thing is, the girl d0nnivain describes doesn't fit your description of the personality you seek. This is why you need to alter your expectations. 1
Gretchen12 Posted August 25, 2018 Posted August 25, 2018 How do you know how many sexual partners a girl has had, just by looking at her? Is it by what she wears? Is it because she's pretty and not shy? At any age, you can find a suitable partner if you know how to recognize one. 1
d0nnivain Posted August 25, 2018 Posted August 25, 2018 Truth right here. Thing is, the girl d0nnivain describes doesn't fit your description of the personality you seek. This is why you need to alter your expectations. She might. I know plenty of women who were the stay at home types who blossomed in the work force once she was praised for her intellect. I also know many more party hearty types from college who settled down to be amazing nurturing wives & mothers because once college ended they got serious. Heck I was on. My idea of a double date in college was having 1 boy take me to lunch & another one take me to a party later that same night. That doesn't mean I had sex with either boy. So Albz98, take it from somebody old enough to be your mom. Your world will change tremendously over the next 4 years. You don't have to have it all figured out by Sunday. 1
Redhead14 Posted August 25, 2018 Posted August 25, 2018 (edited) Hi everyone!! First, I'll talk about myself. I am a French Canadian so sorry in advance for the typos. Also I am 19 (turning 20 this Sunday!) and I just go dumb by my girlfriend. She left two months ago for someone else. I am still **** up from that breakup and wouldn't hesitate to take her back if I have the chance to. I still think about her all the time. (Can't move the **** on) Anyway, I am not here to talk about that. I just came to realize that the ideal girls just don't exist or are very hard to find... You guys might think it's because I'm not over my ex or I'm picky as ****. That is half true. Actually, I am for sure not over my ex and am also a little bit picky. Let me explain, I think the ideal woman for me as to be smart, charming, caring, loving and loyal since my last GF left me for someone else. Another thing that is very important for me is the fact that she has to be authentic and that she have to have a big heart. The physique does matter to me but the first attribute is more important than the physical part. The physique has to have a minimum. So the girl have to take care of her body and of me obviously. Basically, I'm looking for a "mom" even tho I'm just 19. My goal in life is to be a father since my father wasn't very present in my life, I kinda want to break the curse you know. After reading those general conditions, you would of think that there is plenty of girl that meet those expectation. You are absolutely right. Be here's the tricky part. I want a girl that have a limited number of sexual partners... and living in a big city it's kinda rare. Like most of girls at my university they are have ****ed like 20+ guys. I think of those girls poorly even if they meet the expectations above. I want a girl that respect herself enough to go fooling around like that. I feel like in this millennial generation most of girls fool around like that especially in big city. And if the girl meet all the expectation I have, she is most likely to already be in a relationship... I feel like I'm going to be single for the rest of my life. Also, I'm not that of a good looking guy that why I'm thinking that of myself. I'm only 5"5 and kinda skinny too and very shy. And I have a baby face. Everyone thinks I'm still a high schooler even tho I study at an university. Anyways, thanks for the replies for those who read the whole thing you guys/girls are the real MVP!!! Listen, you're only 19 dating 19 year old girls but expecting them to be fully mature, women who are focused on raising a family and acting like a "grown up" woman. Good luck with that. You want to grow up too soon. Enjoy your youth. It's good to have goals, but goals are met by reaching interim benchmarks. Take baby steps. Date lots of girls to experience different types, personalities, etc. And, the girls you think meet "your" expectations who are already taken, may not actually be as wonderful as you think they are. You haven't spent any time with them. You don't know what's going on behind those scenes. You need to focus on your studies and become a man who has a good job and is fully prepared to be the head of a household before you can even consider finding a woman to marry. Benchmarks. Establish yourself as an independent, self-sufficient, accomplished man so that you have lots of offer the woman of "your dreams" -- she will have high standards as well. And, I would look more closely at your desire to find a "mom". That's a very interesting statement. You're young and may not understand, but I'm telling you that women don't want to be a man's mother and "take care" of them . . . There is so much more to life to experience. Don't rush it. Edited August 25, 2018 by Redhead14 2
Gretchen12 Posted August 25, 2018 Posted August 25, 2018 And, I would look more closely at your desire to find a "mom". That's a very interesting statement. You're young and may not understand, but I'm telling you that women don't want to be a man's mother and "take care" of them . . . I thought by "mom", he meant a girl who will be a good mother to her children, not a mother to him. (???) 1
Redhead14 Posted August 25, 2018 Posted August 25, 2018 I thought by "mom", he meant a girl who will be a good mother to her children, not a mother to him. (???) The sentence preceding that was: "So the girl have to take care of her body and of me obviously." If I were dating, that would be a flag for me . . . 1
d0nnivain Posted August 25, 2018 Posted August 25, 2018 I thought by "mom", he meant a girl who will be a good mother to her children, not a mother to him. (???) I took it too mean both & any guy who wants a girl to mother him has . . .issues. 1
Author Albz98 Posted August 25, 2018 Author Posted August 25, 2018 Well what I meant was a "mom" in a way of a person that is taking care of the family... Not just me, I feel like I'm old enough to take care of myself. I just feel like you guys had a misunderstanding of what I was trying to say.
Redhead14 Posted August 25, 2018 Posted August 25, 2018 Well what I meant was a "mom" in a way of a person that is taking care of the family... Not just me, I feel like I'm old enough to take care of myself. I just feel like you guys had a misunderstanding of what I was trying to say. You are old enough to take care of yourself and there's a lot that you have not experienced. You need to know how to handle so much more that is coming your way before you can handle the responsibility of a family and the same is true for the girls. You can't date 19 year old girls expecting them to be all grown up PERIOD. And, if I were you, I'd remove the "take care of me/mom" reference from your narrative regarding your expectations. It's a turn off.
Author Albz98 Posted August 25, 2018 Author Posted August 25, 2018 I know what that I shouldn't mentioned the "take care of me/mom" part when dating, I mean it's just a personal preference that I have... Like I will see it in the women, I don't have to tell her to do it, she will show it to me if she can. You get what I'm trying to say?
d0nnivain Posted August 25, 2018 Posted August 25, 2018 Albz98 What you are trying to say is that you want somebody who is nurturing. That is an OK thing to want. Stop saying you want somebody to be a mom to you or anybody else. That is actually a sexual fetish or an indication that you have mental problems, like attachment adjustment disorder because you weren't held enough as a baby.
Gretchen12 Posted August 25, 2018 Posted August 25, 2018 I think taking care of each other is a good thing. It's not about cooking for you, it's also taking care of each other emotionally. Basically you're wanting someone who is nurturing. (Maybe a language problem in your expressions.) I see nothing wrong with what you are looking for.
Author Albz98 Posted August 25, 2018 Author Posted August 25, 2018 That exactly what I meant, since my primary language is French I think that you guys misunderstood me. My English is not that great sorry for that.
d0nnivain Posted August 25, 2018 Posted August 25, 2018 That exactly what I meant, since my primary language is French I think that you guys misunderstood me. My English is not that great sorry for that. Your English is fine. English is an imprecise language which is why we're glad you clarified. FWIW, your English is waaaayyyyy better then my French.
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