Should I ghost him?

[Lisa_Lisa]

In June 2017, I chatted with this guy from one of the dating apps and planned a date. He was better looking than his pictures and I didn’t feel a weird vibe from him upon meeting. We had a couple of drinks and got along. We made out at the bar and he was/is such a great kisser. He walked me home and told me to text him if I ever want to go out again.

 

 

I texted him and we went out again. We grabbed a bite, drove around, went to a park, talked, and made out. He told me he went to University in London for his Master’s degree and was going back for his graduation and will spend a month and a half there. I didn’t expect to hear from him, but he texted me a couple of times while there.

 

 

He returned in September and we made plans to see each other. He came over and we took it all the way. I already felt an emotional connection before he left and it intensified after the sex. He’s a very passionate lover and it had been a long time since someone made me feel desired during the act. I knew I really, really liked him.

 

 

But I noticed he wasn’t really asked me anything about me or my life yet he told me a lot about himself which has helped me understand his character. He stole weed from his fraternity brothers and when they found out about it, they shunned him and he felt awful. I think he needs a lot of validation from his peers otherwise it hurts his self-esteem.

 

 

He talked about an ex whom he was with for four years, he said he cheated on her and left her for the other girl, but ended up dumping the other girl and going back to the ex, but something tells me he probably just kept the other girl on the side and just told the ex he left her. So again, hmm, a liar and a cheater, and he spoke about putting a girl through tests to gauge her loyalty. The more bull**** she takes, the more loyal she is. That’s what I was getting from all of that.

 

 

As you can tell, I knew it meant he and I were headed nowhere but the bedroom, but given my addiction to the sex, I couldn’t cut him off. He said he doesn’t ghost anyone, but it happens to him all the time. He promised me he wouldn’t ghost me and in the year we’ve been seeing each other, I can say I believe him because he hasn’t done it.

 

 

Whenever he’s made plans with me, he’s stuck to them. He's never flaked and if things were to change, he’d reschedule ahead of time. He’d text me in between to see how I was doing and such.

 

 

But then in March, his ex (the one he cheated on) came to live in NY and she’s all alone in the city and ended up staying with his parent’s at their house. He kept bringing her up and I got angry. We were driving and I let my emotions get the best of me.

 

 

I told him to get out of my car, he said “is it over?” I said “yes” and kept telling him to leave, but he refused so I ended up just going home with him. But at his house we had a discussion about the ex and he revealed he was seeing another woman and then he mentioned a third. So basically he’s seeing three women plus me. It made me feel really ****ty. The next day, he was a bit distant so I sent him a text telling him good luck with all that with your ex and everyone else and I wished him the best in his endeavors. Goodbye.

 

 

He never responded to the text, and just liked my Instagram pictures. I felt like he didn’t want it to be over so after my emotions settled and told myself this was just sex and I was going to pull back on my feelings, I reached out, he responded positively and we were back on, just like that.

 

 

He stopped talking about his other women and I tried to have tunnel vision and just focus on sex. Sad thing is, I was dating other men, but physically, emotionally, and sexually there was no comparison. He was all that I wanted. He’d even say things like he still wants to have sex with me even if he’s married. I thought it was a one off comment, but he mentioned it again recently basically saying he doesn’t care if I get a boyfriend or get married, he still wants to be intimate with me. So I guess he’ll never be faithful to whomever he's with.

 

 

 

A month ago, we were at my place and we argued and I told him to leave in the middle of the night. It was over. I’d had enough of him and wanted to end it. He refused to leave and we were ok, I suppose, but when I asked to see him a week later he gave me some vague excuse about needing to stabilize his living environment and if he had time we’d see each other. I got pissed and said, “let’s end this, ok, I’m not angry or anything, I’m just not happy.” He said he didn’t want to disappoint me or stress me out anymore. He wished me the best in life and I said “thank you.”

 

 

But two days later, he took it back and said he wanted to see me. Of course I’m weak and still addicted sexually to him so I gave in, but the frustration in lack of communication, doing things on his timetable, him dating others, etc has taken its toll on me.

 

 

Whenever I don’t reply to a text, he’ll text me later that day and/or the next day as if he’s afraid to lose me whenever I want to leave. It’s his need to feel validated and wanted, and it hurts his self-esteem if he feels like one of his ladies wants to leave. It’s all ego. He doesn't like to lose.

 

 

 

So we saw each other recently (Friday) and we tentatively agreed to see each other that coming Sunday though nothing was set in stone, the week passed and I didn’t hear from him. He texts me on that particular Sunday, but not about meeting up so when I mentioned it, he said he got invited to a concert and depending if he’s not too tired can we have a potential 24 delay? I was very upset and didn’t answer him until the next morning. He’s never flaked on me before so I was thrown off, but he did technically offer the next day so swallowing my pride, I said, “that’s fine, let me know.”

 

 

Well, he didn’t let me know and the day came and went.

 

 

I’ve tried to end things with him 4 times already, verbally and through text (he doesn’t do phone calls) as it is the mature thing to do, but in this case, I’m pissed, had enough, things are not gonna change, he’ll always be a womanizer who will only give me time at his convenience and I don’t want to do it anymore. I want to end it without any emotion on my part, so in this case should I just ghost him?

[smackie9]

No what you should do is BLOCK and DELETE his number and whatever social media you have him on so he can never get a hold of you...permanently. Close that door.

[Zahara]

I’ve tried to end things with him 4 times already, verbally and through text (he doesn’t do phone calls) as it is the mature thing to do, but in this case, I’m pissed, had enough, things are not gonna change, he’ll always be a womanizer who will only give me time at his convenience and I don’t want to do it anymore. I want to end it without any emotion on my part, so in this case should I just ghost him?

 

It's one thing to end it but if you're going to end it, you need to stick to it. You have not been doing that. So, if it's going to be difficult to end it in person, then text him since he doesn't do phone calls. Then block him and move on. Since you have difficulty maintaining your stance, removing his contact information and blocking will help keep your resolve.

[kendahke]

I’ve tried to end things with him 4 times already, verbally and through text

 

That's not enough. You have to then go into your phone and block their number and block them on all social media. Have you done that yet, at least? Or are you keeping lines of communication open because you want to keep attached to this guy? Because from what you've written, I see no reason why his path back to you isn't sealed off for good.

 

I’m pissed, had enough, things are not gonna change, he’ll always be a womanizer who will only give me time at his convenience and I don’t want to do it anymore.

 

If he's not on block, then you're not pissed enough. Irritated, maybe, but not pissed to the point where you protect your intelligence from someone who is playing you out.

 

I want to end it without any emotion on my part, so in this case should I just ghost him?

 

Why play games? Just block him and be done with him. Try doing that first instead of reaching for drama while keeping the return pathway open to him.

[coolheadal]

In June 2017, I chatted with this guy from one of the dating apps and planned a date. He was better looking than his pictures and I didn’t feel a weird vibe from him upon meeting. We had a couple of drinks and got along. We made out at the bar and he was/is such a great kisser. He walked me home and told me to text him if I ever want to go out again.

 

 

I texted him and we went out again. We grabbed a bite, drove around, went to a park, talked, and made out. He told me he went to University in London for his Master’s degree and was going back for his graduation and will spend a month and a half there. I didn’t expect to hear from him, but he texted me a couple of times while there.

 

 

He returned in September and we made plans to see each other. He came over and we took it all the way. I already felt an emotional connection before he left and it intensified after the sex. He’s a very passionate lover and it had been a long time since someone made me feel desired during the act. I knew I really, really liked him.

 

 

But I noticed he wasn’t really asked me anything about me or my life yet he told me a lot about himself which has helped me understand his character. He stole weed from his fraternity brothers and when they found out about it, they shunned him and he felt awful. I think he needs a lot of validation from his peers otherwise it hurts his self-esteem.

 

 

He talked about an ex whom he was with for four years, he said he cheated on her and left her for the other girl, but ended up dumping the other girl and going back to the ex, but something tells me he probably just kept the other girl on the side and just told the ex he left her. So again, hmm, a liar and a cheater, and he spoke about putting a girl through tests to gauge her loyalty. The more bull**** she takes, the more loyal she is. That’s what I was getting from all of that.

 

 

As you can tell, I knew it meant he and I were headed nowhere but the bedroom, but given my addiction to the sex, I couldn’t cut him off. He said he doesn’t ghost anyone, but it happens to him all the time. He promised me he wouldn’t ghost me and in the year we’ve been seeing each other, I can say I believe him because he hasn’t done it.

 

 

Whenever he’s made plans with me, he’s stuck to them. He's never flaked and if things were to change, he’d reschedule ahead of time. He’d text me in between to see how I was doing and such.

 

 

But then in March, his ex (the one he cheated on) came to live in NY and she’s all alone in the city and ended up staying with his parent’s at their house. He kept bringing her up and I got angry. We were driving and I let my emotions get the best of me.

 

 

I told him to get out of my car, he said “is it over?” I said “yes” and kept telling him to leave, but he refused so I ended up just going home with him. But at his house we had a discussion about the ex and he revealed he was seeing another woman and then he mentioned a third. So basically he’s seeing three women plus me. It made me feel really ****ty. The next day, he was a bit distant so I sent him a text telling him good luck with all that with your ex and everyone else and I wished him the best in his endeavors. Goodbye.

 

 

He never responded to the text, and just liked my Instagram pictures. I felt like he didn’t want it to be over so after my emotions settled and told myself this was just sex and I was going to pull back on my feelings, I reached out, he responded positively and we were back on, just like that.

 

 

He stopped talking about his other women and I tried to have tunnel vision and just focus on sex. Sad thing is, I was dating other men, but physically, emotionally, and sexually there was no comparison. He was all that I wanted. He’d even say things like he still wants to have sex with me even if he’s married. I thought it was a one off comment, but he mentioned it again recently basically saying he doesn’t care if I get a boyfriend or get married, he still wants to be intimate with me. So I guess he’ll never be faithful to whomever he's with.

 

 

 

A month ago, we were at my place and we argued and I told him to leave in the middle of the night. It was over. I’d had enough of him and wanted to end it. He refused to leave and we were ok, I suppose, but when I asked to see him a week later he gave me some vague excuse about needing to stabilize his living environment and if he had time we’d see each other. I got pissed and said, “let’s end this, ok, I’m not angry or anything, I’m just not happy.” He said he didn’t want to disappoint me or stress me out anymore. He wished me the best in life and I said “thank you.”

 

 

But two days later, he took it back and said he wanted to see me. Of course I’m weak and still addicted sexually to him so I gave in, but the frustration in lack of communication, doing things on his timetable, him dating others, etc has taken its toll on me.

 

 

Whenever I don’t reply to a text, he’ll text me later that day and/or the next day as if he’s afraid to lose me whenever I want to leave. It’s his need to feel validated and wanted, and it hurts his self-esteem if he feels like one of his ladies wants to leave. It’s all ego. He doesn't like to lose.

 

 

 

So we saw each other recently (Friday) and we tentatively agreed to see each other that coming Sunday though nothing was set in stone, the week passed and I didn’t hear from him. He texts me on that particular Sunday, but not about meeting up so when I mentioned it, he said he got invited to a concert and depending if he’s not too tired can we have a potential 24 delay? I was very upset and didn’t answer him until the next morning. He’s never flaked on me before so I was thrown off, but he did technically offer the next day so swallowing my pride, I said, “that’s fine, let me know.”

 

 

Well, he didn’t let me know and the day came and went.

 

 

I’ve tried to end things with him 4 times already, verbally and through text (he doesn’t do phone calls) as it is the mature thing to do, but in this case, I’m pissed, had enough, things are not gonna change, he’ll always be a womanizer who will only give me time at his convenience and I don’t want to do it anymore. I want to end it without any emotion on my part, so in this case should I just ghost him?

 

He's so clever and he got you wrap around his finger. You should have demand that it's over when he told you his ex was in town he was seeing 2 other women beside you. Best you check yourself with a doctor for any STDs too. Just because he's good looking doesn't mean he's disease free. Do not take back a cheating many he's cheating with you. 3 plus the ex makes 4 with you. OMG and you're not allowed to talk to him over the phone. Really that should have been a red flag. That means he doesn't want the other women to know about you. Your his 3rd option. He's open to his options he has. Not a good man no matter what you think he is. Once they cheat they're always cheat. But get yourself tested. Block deleted, use the police on him if he doesn't leave you along. Text messages are your evidence against him.

[damni]

This man has got game, he must be a PUA (Pick up artist) look this up and see if it is relevant to how he treats you. These type of men you need to stay away from, they are the kings of emotionally detaching and he most likely only sees you as a ****.

 

Think about how you have allowed yourself to be treated this past year, I am sure a year ago you would have cringed at how you ended up in this situation.

 

He has you right where he wants you, your threats to end it mean NOTHING to him as you come running right back. He also has no respect for you which is why he can keep, picking you up and throwing you away.

 

The best thing you can do is, block his number and never speak to him again. It will hurt like hell, you will rage that he is not fighting to keep you and your be temped to call him. But you need stop chasing him, NEVER chase a man again. A man that wants you will be running after you. I hope you dont waste more years of your life being this man sex toy because that is how he sees you.

[Lisa_Lisa]

You're guys are right. I guess coming from bad experiences on OLD, I felt like he was different in terms of no sexting, keeping dates, had things to talk about, and believe me, I've had guys ghost me after the first date, insult me when I wouldn't have sex so soon, and just overall give me a bad feeling.

 

 

He is juggling all his women and I'll have to say that we all know about each other. He has made no secret of it to any of us. He recently claimed he and his ex have an "open" relationship where they both date others. He even brought of one of the ladies over to his parent's when no one was home, but his sister arrived and told the ex. She got very upset with him.......it makes me sad for her because he'll most likely marry her and cheat on her because if she allowed it once she'll allow it again.

 

 

 

I know this has nothing to do with my interactions with him, but if these ladies and I are dealing with him, it's obvious we take his sh*t. I removed him as a friend on Snapchat and Instagram. I'm taking small steps.

 

 

 

I know I'm weak, but with each disappoint I become aware of my boundaries. I put him on a blacklist with my texting, which is I won't know when a text comes in, but I can check if I want to. He still hasn't written to me. I just feel like I wanna know what he's gonna say to me, but it's pointless, right? He's not a good man for anyone and the sooner I get him out of my life the better.

 

 

I'm seeing someone currently. He's good-hearted, respectful, nice to me, likes to hang out and is up for anything. We haven't been intimate yet (and we've been hanging out casually the last 3 months) and he hasn't pressured me, but I don't think I can see us in a relationship way. I just wanna hang with him and enjoy myself, no pressure.

[coolheadal]

You're guys are right. I guess coming from bad experiences on OLD, I felt like he was different in terms of no sexting, keeping dates, had things to talk about, and believe me, I've had guys ghost me after the first date, insult me when I wouldn't have sex so soon, and just overall give me a bad feeling.

 

 

He is juggling all his women and I'll have to say that we all know about each other. He has made no secret of it to any of us. He recently claimed he and his ex have an "open" relationship where they both date others. He even brought of one of the ladies over to his parent's when no one was home, but his sister arrived and told the ex. She got very upset with him.......it makes me sad for her because he'll most likely marry her and cheat on her because if she allowed it once she'll allow it again.

 

 

 

I know this has nothing to do with my interactions with him, but if these ladies and I are dealing with him, it's obvious we take his sh*t. I removed him as a friend on Snapchat and Instagram. I'm taking small steps.

 

 

 

I know I'm weak, but with each disappoint I become aware of my boundaries. I put him on a blacklist with my texting, which is I won't know when a text comes in, but I can check if I want to. He still hasn't written to me. I just feel like I wanna know what he's gonna say to me, but it's pointless, right? He's not a good man for anyone and the sooner I get him out of my life the better.

 

 

I'm seeing someone currently. He's good-hearted, respectful, nice to me, likes to hang out and is up for anything. We haven't been intimate yet (and we've been hanging out casually the last 3 months) and he hasn't pressured me, but I don't think I can see us in a relationship way. I just wanna hang with him and enjoy myself, no pressure.

 

My dear tell your new boyfriend how you feel, just want to hangout not to date him, thus he becomes your guy friend that way. I know you don't want pressure but you got to be honest with this guy as well. No one wants to get hurt in any new startup relationship. If this new guy you like seeing might be the one for you. Take it slow and see what develops. Good luck my dear!

[Lisa_Lisa]

He's not my new boyfriend. We haven't discussed any kind of romantic relationship between us. All we've done is make out. He's a nice guy and I'd like to continue to see him. I'm sure he's doing his own thing as well. We just make time for each other.

 

 

I've been thinking about it and maybe I should just tell this dude how I feel, that he flaked on the day we were supposed to see each other and that wasn't cool and end it. And then block him!

[Zahara]

I just feel like I wanna know what he's gonna say to me, but it's pointless, right? He's not a good man for anyone and the sooner I get him out of my life the better.

 

I'm not sure what else you could hope for him to say. You placed yourself in the position of sex and fun and usually there is no way up from there and with the addition of him dating several other women, what else could you possibly think he could say to change your situation. The sooner you accept the reality of your role in his life, the sooner you let go and move on. And when you show a man that you will allow him to break your boundaries because you are desperate to have him in your life, he's going to devalue you. It won't change.

 

I'm seeing someone currently. He's good-hearted, respectful, nice to me, likes to hang out and is up for anything. We haven't been intimate yet (and we've been hanging out casually the last 3 months) and he hasn't pressured me, but I don't think I can see us in a relationship way. I just wanna hang with him and enjoy myself, no pressure.

 

I hope this new guy is aware of your intent and is on the same page with you. If he isn't, it would be fair to communicate it to him so that he knows his position with you. It wouldn't be right if he's harboring expectation and hope that this is leading somewhere.

[stillafool]

This man has got game, he must be a PUA (Pick up artist) look this up and see if it is relevant to how he treats you. These type of men you need to stay away from, they are the kings of emotionally detaching and he most likely only sees you as a ****.

 

Think about how you have allowed yourself to be treated this past year, I am sure a year ago you would have cringed at how you ended up in this situation.

 

He has you right where he wants you, your threats to end it mean NOTHING to him as you come running right back. He also has no respect for you which is why he can keep, picking you up and throwing you away.

 

The best thing you can do is, block his number and never speak to him again. It will hurt like hell, you will rage that he is not fighting to keep you and your be temped to call him. But you need stop chasing him, NEVER chase a man again. A man that wants you will be running after you. I hope you dont waste more years of your life being this man sex toy because that is how he sees you.

 

Yeah this. This guy knows he's good in bed and I can guarantee you aren't the only woman feeling the way you are. The others are trying to capture him too and he knows this. If you want to get off this ferris wheel then step off (block) and don't go back. He knows you and the others are weak for him so show him how strong you are; step away and mean it.

[coolheadal]

He's not my new boyfriend. We haven't discussed any kind of romantic relationship between us. All we've done is make out. He's a nice guy and I'd like to continue to see him. I'm sure he's doing his own thing as well. We just make time for each other.

 

 

I've been thinking about it and maybe I should just tell this dude how I feel, that he flaked on the day we were supposed to see each other and that wasn't cool and end it. And then block him!

 

Oh he's just a friend who you see and hang out with.. But you did make out with him with a long kiss right? Well let it develop and see where if you get the spark in your heart for him.

[Lisa_Lisa]

Yeah this. This guy knows he's good in bed and I can guarantee you aren't the only woman feeling the way you are. The others are trying to capture him too and he knows this. If you want to get off this ferris wheel then step off (block) and don't go back. He knows you and the others are weak for him so show him how strong you are; step away and mean it.

 

 

You're right, he is. He's exciting and challenging. It sucks because it's been a while since it felt so good with someone. I think when we connect albeit on an emotional or sexual level, we want to keep that going. There's nothing worse for me than to have sex with someone and it be bad or not feel a connection.

 

 

 

I have to be strong and realize he'll never want me and it's not like want him. I suffer from that "I want what I can't have" syndrome. I just want him to want me, but it doesn't necessarily mean he'd be a good fit for me. It's my ego that's being challenged here. How dare he not want me kinda thing. I have to quiet the ego and take stock of the situation.

 

 

 

This is good. I wrote a long text last night and discussed it with a friend, but ultimately did not send it because I felt he'd feel like he got to me and my emotions. So I thought ghosting would hurt his self-esteem and he'd question where I went and why. It'd given me a sweet satisfaction to disappear completely.

[Lisa_Lisa]

I'm not one of those people that can ghost if I'm emotionally invested in someone so ending things with him was not my strong suit.

 

 

Last time we hung out, he did something to upset me and I thought, I can't take this anymore so I told him I couldn't see him anymore. He got upset about it, a little, and told me he had been emotionally preparing himself for the day when I'd end things or he'd end things with me, but then he felt he had to save face and started to agree why things with us wouldn't work out. So I feel like he actually made the decision to break up.

 

 

I foolishly texted him the Sunday after we were over and asked to see him if he'd like and two days later he texted me to ask if I wanted to come over and so I did, but everything was emotionless and filled with bitterness and criticism that even though we cuddled the whole night through I felt something was off when I tried to kiss him and he wouldn't kiss me.

 

 

I sent him a Snap "good morning," he opened it, but never responded and then I sent a picture gif of something, but he didn't respond to that either. Granted they didn't warrant responses, but it would have been nice to get one.

 

 

And now it's been three days and everyday that passes I lose a little more hope that it'll continue. I know I'm crazy for wanting it to, but at the same time I ask the Universe to keep him away from me because I'm too weak to do it on my own. So I guess things are going the way I asked.

 

 

I wouldn't call what he's doing ghosting, but he's definitely ignoring me and I'm strangely okay with that because it'll help me move on.

 

 

If for some reason he texts to see me, I should nonchalantly say I'm getting ready for a date, wish me luck...to save face...he's a jealous person so it'll bother him, of course, but at least he know I have other options and someone wants me. But in reality, I'm just staying home and acting a hermit.

[d0nnivain]

good luck on your new date but I wish you more strength to keep this other guy out of your life for good.

 

I'm no fan of ghosting but when you say to somebody that you want to end it, but they don't take no for an answer, then you are not under any obligation to respond.

 

How will the guy know you have another date? You need to be disconnected so this info doesn't get to him.

[Lisa_Lisa]

I'm not currently dating anyone, he's basically the only man in my life. We follow each other on Instagram and he follows me on Snapchat.

 

 

 

I meant if he texts me one of these days asking to see me (as he's been known to do lately), I'll lie and tell him him I'm getting ready for a date.

 

 

He's a jealous person by nature so at least if that'll be the last time that he texts me asking to see me, at least he'll think someone else will be in my life and I will be happy without him.

 

 

It's all smoke and mirrors and will only work for a short time, but it's what I want to do to shake things up. He's taken me for granted because I told him how I feel.

 

 

I think by nature we all want what we can't have and if he feels he can't have me anymore, he will temporarily try hard and I will have the advantage, but I know in the end we will both get bored and eventually fade out of each other's lives.

 

 

It's a shame, I really did like him, but maybe I was just lying to myself this whole time.

[Zippy2000]

 

 

I’ve tried to end things with him 4 times already, verbally and through text (he doesn’t do phone calls) as it is the mature thing to do, but in this case, I’m pissed, had enough, things are not gonna change, he’ll always be a womanizer who will only give me time at his convenience and I don’t want to do it anymore. I want to end it without any emotion on my part, so in this case should I just ghost him?

 

 

You do NOT ghost him. This is not only rude but will backfire. When you ghost on someone they will come back for answer and will come looking for you.

 

 

You've already told us you TRIED to end things 4 times but there is a difference of trying and ACTUALLY going through with it. Do yourself a favour and stop this cycle now.

 

 

He doesn't respect you. You tell him to leave and he refuses. If you respect yourself well enough and stop being a door mat and being used for sex. You`re going to go about things in a self destruct mode and ultimately you`re going to hurt no one but yourself. You need to break the chain of going back to him.

[kendahke]

I've been thinking about it and maybe I should just tell this dude how I feel, that he flaked on the day we were supposed to see each other and that wasn't cool and end it. And then block him!

 

How about just block him and let him figure it out instead of all this drama?

[Lisa_Lisa]

Ghosting is not something that I'd like to do at this point. Since the original post, we actually ended things face-to-face, but I ended up backtracking and we saw each other once more, although I haven't heard from him since that night, I guess it was the last time for old time's sake. I've texted him, nothing in particular to reply to, but since I haven't heard back, I guess it's really truly over now. I'm actually in the grieving process as we speak. It's better that he did it rather than me because I've always been too weak.

 

 

Ghosting sucks and I wouldn't want it done to me nor do it to someone.

[kendahke]

Ghosting sucks and I wouldn't want it done to me nor do it to someone.

 

Then why ask us all if you should?

[fred123]

In June 2017, I chatted with this guy from one of the dating apps and planned a date. He was better looking than his pictures and I didn’t feel a weird vibe from him upon meeting. We had a couple of drinks and got along. We made out at the bar and he was/is such a great kisser. He walked me home and told me to text him if I ever want to go out again.

 

 

I texted him and we went out again. We grabbed a bite, drove around, went to a park, talked, and made out. He told me he went to University in London for his Master’s degree and was going back for his graduation and will spend a month and a half there. I didn’t expect to hear from him, but he texted me a couple of times while there.

 

 

He returned in September and we made plans to see each other. He came over and we took it all the way. I already felt an emotional connection before he left and it intensified after the sex. He’s a very passionate lover and it had been a long time since someone made me feel desired during the act. I knew I really, really liked him.

 

 

But I noticed he wasn’t really asked me anything about me or my life yet he told me a lot about himself which has helped me understand his character. He stole weed from his fraternity brothers and when they found out about it, they shunned him and he felt awful. I think he needs a lot of validation from his peers otherwise it hurts his self-esteem.

 

 

He talked about an ex whom he was with for four years, he said he cheated on her and left her for the other girl, but ended up dumping the other girl and going back to the ex, but something tells me he probably just kept the other girl on the side and just told the ex he left her. So again, hmm, a liar and a cheater, and he spoke about putting a girl through tests to gauge her loyalty. The more bull**** she takes, the more loyal she is. That’s what I was getting from all of that.

 

 

As you can tell, I knew it meant he and I were headed nowhere but the bedroom, but given my addiction to the sex, I couldn’t cut him off. He said he doesn’t ghost anyone, but it happens to him all the time. He promised me he wouldn’t ghost me and in the year we’ve been seeing each other, I can say I believe him because he hasn’t done it.

 

 

Whenever he’s made plans with me, he’s stuck to them. He's never flaked and if things were to change, he’d reschedule ahead of time. He’d text me in between to see how I was doing and such.

 

 

But then in March, his ex (the one he cheated on) came to live in NY and she’s all alone in the city and ended up staying with his parent’s at their house. He kept bringing her up and I got angry. We were driving and I let my emotions get the best of me.

 

 

I told him to get out of my car, he said “is it over?” I said “yes” and kept telling him to leave, but he refused so I ended up just going home with him. But at his house we had a discussion about the ex and he revealed he was seeing another woman and then he mentioned a third. So basically he’s seeing three women plus me. It made me feel really ****ty. The next day, he was a bit distant so I sent him a text telling him good luck with all that with your ex and everyone else and I wished him the best in his endeavors. Goodbye.

 

 

He never responded to the text, and just liked my Instagram pictures. I felt like he didn’t want it to be over so after my emotions settled and told myself this was just sex and I was going to pull back on my feelings, I reached out, he responded positively and we were back on, just like that.

 

 

He stopped talking about his other women and I tried to have tunnel vision and just focus on sex. Sad thing is, I was dating other men, but physically, emotionally, and sexually there was no comparison. He was all that I wanted. He’d even say things like he still wants to have sex with me even if he’s married. I thought it was a one off comment, but he mentioned it again recently basically saying he doesn’t care if I get a boyfriend or get married, he still wants to be intimate with me. So I guess he’ll never be faithful to whomever he's with.

 

 

 

A month ago, we were at my place and we argued and I told him to leave in the middle of the night. It was over. I’d had enough of him and wanted to end it. He refused to leave and we were ok, I suppose, but when I asked to see him a week later he gave me some vague excuse about needing to stabilize his living environment and if he had time we’d see each other. I got pissed and said, “let’s end this, ok, I’m not angry or anything, I’m just not happy.” He said he didn’t want to disappoint me or stress me out anymore. He wished me the best in life and I said “thank you.”

 

 

But two days later, he took it back and said he wanted to see me. Of course I’m weak and still addicted sexually to him so I gave in, but the frustration in lack of communication, doing things on his timetable, him dating others, etc has taken its toll on me.

 

 

Whenever I don’t reply to a text, he’ll text me later that day and/or the next day as if he’s afraid to lose me whenever I want to leave. It’s his need to feel validated and wanted, and it hurts his self-esteem if he feels like one of his ladies wants to leave. It’s all ego. He doesn't like to lose.

 

 

 

So we saw each other recently (Friday) and we tentatively agreed to see each other that coming Sunday though nothing was set in stone, the week passed and I didn’t hear from him. He texts me on that particular Sunday, but not about meeting up so when I mentioned it, he said he got invited to a concert and depending if he’s not too tired can we have a potential 24 delay? I was very upset and didn’t answer him until the next morning. He’s never flaked on me before so I was thrown off, but he did technically offer the next day so swallowing my pride, I said, “that’s fine, let me know.”

 

 

Well, he didn’t let me know and the day came and went.

 

 

I’ve tried to end things with him 4 times already, verbally and through text (he doesn’t do phone calls) as it is the mature thing to do, but in this case, I’m pissed, had enough, things are not gonna change, he’ll always be a womanizer who will only give me time at his convenience and I don’t want to do it anymore. I want to end it without any emotion on my part, so in this case should I just ghost him?

 

wow good looking men really do get away with crap

[Lisa_Lisa]

My original post was from August and I was debating it then, but not anymore. I know I'd never do it.

[BreakOnThrough]

Haha, this man has you wrapped around his finger, and everything else, played to the core. Keep at it, it is everything you want and you know it.

[Mrs._December]

I’ve tried to end things with him 4 times already, verbally and through text (he doesn’t do phone calls) as it is the mature thing to do, but in this case, I’m pissed, had enough, things are not gonna change, he’ll always be a womanizer who will only give me time at his convenience and I don’t want to do it anymore. I want to end it without any emotion on my part, so in this case should I just ghost him?

But all you've DONE is chase this guy and crawl back to him again and again and again.

 

I honestly can't even imagine what it must be like to be so 'addicted to sex' with anyone that I would willingly allow myself to be disrespected over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over ad nauseum.

 

Sadly, you need a very healthy dose of self respect and self esteem.

[Lisa_Lisa]

I know and I've honestly reached my pain threshold. Everyone has a breaking point and I've come to mine. It's not healthy for my soul.

 

 

Even though I'm sad, I know with time I'll get over it just like I have in my past.

 

 

 

Now is the time to distract myself by joining the gym close to my house, I want to take Italian classes in a classroom setting to possibly meet someone, changing my wardrobe, and redecorating my bedroom. Projects to keep me busy and distract from thoughts...

 

 

And I know this is stupid BUT if he does text me to meet up, I'll tell him I'm getting ready for a date...he needs to know he's off the pedestal and I'm interested in other men. I don't want him thinking for a second I'm sad or I'm not living my life to the fullest.

 

 

By pretending I have a date or a man in my life, I may actually manifest one. The Universe works in those ways..it's all about energy.