preraph Posted August 29, 2018 Posted August 29, 2018 Why do you see him telling me not to speak as abusive? Just wondering Are you kidding? Because it's a free world and you get to talk whenever you want! He's not your boss at the office.
vla1120 Posted August 29, 2018 Posted August 29, 2018 Abuse is not only physical. Abuse is also mental and emotional. I spent the last four years with an emotionally abusive and controlling man. I would not leave him (though I knew that was best) because he has cancer and I thought I was strong enough to keep things in perspective and deal with his control and abuse so that he would not have to die alone. He drained me. I barely got out with my sanity. My self-esteem took a huge hit. I almost lost my job because of his irrational demands. He could have had me by his side, but now he is alone and that is not my problem. It took 3+ years of weekly therapy to get me to the point that I could leave him without feeling overwhelmingly guilty. Men like him are very good at convincing you to take the blame. The longer you stay, the more he thinks his behavior is acceptable and the more he will chip away at you. A slap will become a punch, then the apologies. A punch will become broken bones. Don't give it a chance to escalate. You MUST think enough of yourself to leave. If I could leave a man with stage IV cancer, you can leave a man who has slapped you in the face when you were doing HIM a favor. 1
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