jjb117 Posted August 21, 2018 Posted August 21, 2018 I guess I only come here when things aren’t going so well in my dating life. Anyways I’ve been talking to this girl for about a month now and ever since we first went out, we were talking nonstop. She was insanely into me. Would want to talk 24/7, FaceTime all the time, would send me nudes, I basically had it all. It was almost too much. So when we had sex, it wasn’t entirely enjoyable. We did it in my car and I was very paranoid the whole time. Every time a car passes I clinched my buttcheeks. I came earlier than expected and felt terrible because for me, if I don’t pleasure the girl, I feel like I didn’t do my job. But later that night, she said she “liked where this was going “ and even though I agreed, I felt discomfort because I already made up my mind I don’t want something serious. So after a couple of days, I told her. But strangely she was agreement? She also didn’t want anything serious. At first, great! We would continue what we had, but even though she reassured me that she really didn’t want anything serious, she’s been incredibly distant. All that I mentioned before, she doesn’t do anymore. I’m expected to see her Thursday, but I have a feeling we won’t even havesex. It’s like, nothing’s there anymore. Is there anything I could do? Or is it pretty much over? And I didn’t want anything serious mainly because I go to school on the other side of the nation and it takes time for me to know for sure i want to date someone.
rightondude Posted August 21, 2018 Posted August 21, 2018 she may have said that just because you said that?
Gretchen12 Posted August 21, 2018 Posted August 21, 2018 What are you offering? No romance, sex no good, no money since you're just a student. If all you've got is a fun personality, she might go for friendship?
Author jjb117 Posted August 21, 2018 Author Posted August 21, 2018 she may have said that just because you said that? ThatÂ’s what I was thinking. But itÂ’s strange to me. I tried setting up something nice, to make up for it, and she said we should just do something casual. I asked her why she felt that way, and she responded saying because she thinks I want a relationship...? Even after I said I didnÂ’t? First? Kind of strange.
Highndry Posted August 21, 2018 Posted August 21, 2018 You basically said about the worst thing you could to a woman - that you don't value her enough for a serious relationship. Stick a fork in it, this one's done.
Lotsgoingon Posted August 21, 2018 Posted August 21, 2018 Well if you're sensing that the other person is interested in you, then the time to say you want something casual--and not serious--is before sex, not afterwards. She was probably thrown off by how uncomfortable you were during sex ... next time wait til you can get to a place where you can relax and not be focused on passing cars. And ... dude, you said you didn't want anything serious ... Well ... she's gone quiet ... which you can do if the relationship isn't anything serious.
BaileyB Posted August 21, 2018 Posted August 21, 2018 You basically said about the worst thing you could to a woman - that you don't value her enough for a serious relationship. Stick a fork in it, this one's done. Yup! And why you would say in one sentence, "I basically had it all!" And in the next sentence, "It takes time for me to know if I want to date someone, I don't want something serious with you..." is beyond me. Dude. It sure sounds like you have no idea what you want... and she has decided she is worth more than to stick around while you decide. Good on her!
BaileyB Posted August 21, 2018 Posted August 21, 2018 What are you offering? Sex in a car... Not many women are going to hang around for that.
coolheadal Posted August 21, 2018 Posted August 21, 2018 I guess I only come here when things aren’t going so well in my dating life. Anyways I’ve been talking to this girl for about a month now and ever since we first went out, we were talking nonstop. She was insanely into me. Would want to talk 24/7, FaceTime all the time, would send me nudes, I basically had it all. It was almost too much. So when we had sex, it wasn’t entirely enjoyable. We did it in my car and I was very paranoid the whole time. Every time a car passes I clinched my buttcheeks. I came earlier than expected and felt terrible because for me, if I don’t pleasure the girl, I feel like I didn’t do my job. But later that night, she said she “liked where this was going “ and even though I agreed, I felt discomfort because I already made up my mind I don’t want something serious. So after a couple of days, I told her. But strangely she was agreement? She also didn’t want anything serious. At first, great! We would continue what we had, but even though she reassured me that she really didn’t want anything serious, she’s been incredibly distant. All that I mentioned before, she doesn’t do anymore. I’m expected to see her Thursday, but I have a feeling we won’t even havesex. It’s like, nothing’s there anymore. Is there anything I could do? Or is it pretty much over? And I didn’t want anything serious mainly because I go to school on the other side of the nation and it takes time for me to know for sure i want to date someone. Yep it's over!
Author jjb117 Posted August 21, 2018 Author Posted August 21, 2018 I’ll probably just cancel on Thursday then. Like listen, guys and girls, I told her because I didn’t want her getting her hopes up. What trips me was that she also agreed to doing friends with benefits and it sure hasn’t felt that way. But thank you guys. I usually handle situations like this very well but NOT THIS TIME
BaileyB Posted August 21, 2018 Posted August 21, 2018 What trips me was that she also agreed to doing friends with benefits and it sure hasn’t felt that way. She said that, but she clearly didn't mean it. Perhaps you caught her flat footed, she was not expecting that after she told you that she liked where it was going and she was unsure what to say and/or trying to save face? Clearly, she has reconsidered and decided that it is not what she wants... And, I don't blame her. You pulled a little bit of a bait and switch. I'd be very unhappy too...
ExpatInItaly Posted August 21, 2018 Posted August 21, 2018 Eh, I'm going to agree with a couple others and agree she's not looking for a casual arrangement. She said that to try to avoid embarrassment after you told you don't want a relationship with her. Her actions are telling you what you need to know. She doesn't want a friends with benefits situation with you.
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