NYCgirl737 Posted August 19, 2018 Posted August 19, 2018 I have been seeing this guy since February/March. He's a bit older than me and has a high-pressure job and kids from a previous relationship, so even starting out we only saw each other a few times a month and texted a few times a week to check in or sometimes have a conversation. If I texted first, it was always a hit or miss as to whether he'd answer right away or it if it would take up to a day. I thought things were going fine. In July he seemed to open up a bit more, so I was definitely under the impression it was on the right track. But since then it just feels different. He texts even less than before, which, while annoying, is not as annoying as the fact that he has basically blown me off the last four times we were going to see each other. The first time he said he was busy at work and would let me know. I wait several hours, and since it was getting late we agreed to try the next day. The next day (blow off #2) it was the same thing. He said he just had to finish a few things at work, so I'm waiting, waiting, waiting until he finally texts that he's done but he's tired and going home to sleep. At that point I'm annoyed, so I wait until the next morning to check in. He doesn't respond for a day. I text again the next day to say the lack of communication seems like he isn't interested anymore. He responds a bit later saying he definitely still is interested, just busy, and we set up another time to meet. We have a little communication between then and the day we're supposed to see each other. However, when it comes time to see each other, he flakes again. He texts me he'll be at the meeting place soon. I wait for several hours (ran into some people I knew), and he never shows. I get a text the next morning apologizing that he fell asleep from his hectic travel schedule lately. Fine. We'll try again the next night. I actually run into him that next morning and we have a quick exchange where he tells me how beautiful I am, yadda, yadda, yadda. Night comes, he says he's coming to our meeting spot again but has gotten delayed by his business dinner. Hours go by and I eventually text saying I'm not waiting anymore. Next morning I get another apology that his phone died and a promise he would ping me the next weekend, which would be right after coming back from another business trip. Well, it's the Sunday of that weekend and I still haven't heard from him. Anyone care to help me interpret this? What should I do? Part of me wants to give him the benefit of the doubt, but I'm so sick and tired of the lack of communication and spending hours waiting.
FMW Posted August 19, 2018 Posted August 19, 2018 It doesn't sound like he's doing enough to even qualify as leading you on. He may truly like you and think you're beautiful, but he clearly isn't interested enough to make the effort to have you in his life in any meaningful way. You're the only one holding this thing together. I know it's hard if he's the only one you're interested in, but for your own happiness you need to let it go. He doesn't deserve your time and attention. Free up your head and heart to be available for someone who does. 1
Gretchen12 Posted August 19, 2018 Posted August 19, 2018 Being busy is ok, standing you up is not. He stood you up twice. He can't have a career and have his life together if he fails to show up at meetings. Even if he is interested, it's not a healthy interest. When things start to be sordid, it's not right for you to continue.
Gaeta Posted August 19, 2018 Posted August 19, 2018 Leading you on big time. There is no such a thing as being too busy. If he has time to take a pee he has time to text you. You should have dropped him way before the 4th time he stood you up. If a man doesn't make time to see you on weekly basis it's because he's not interested or he is working several women at the same time. 1
ExpatInItaly Posted August 19, 2018 Posted August 19, 2018 You already know the answer to this one, OP. He is most definitely leading you on, and he's not really even that much. He just doesn't bother showing up and puts in zero effort. Take the hint, and forget about him. 1
coolheadal Posted August 19, 2018 Posted August 19, 2018 I have been seeing this guy since February/March. He's a bit older than me and has a high-pressure job and kids from a previous relationship, so even starting out we only saw each other a few times a month and texted a few times a week to check in or sometimes have a conversation. If I texted first, it was always a hit or miss as to whether he'd answer right away or it if it would take up to a day. I thought things were going fine. In July he seemed to open up a bit more, so I was definitely under the impression it was on the right track. But since then it just feels different. He texts even less than before, which, while annoying, is not as annoying as the fact that he has basically blown me off the last four times we were going to see each other. The first time he said he was busy at work and would let me know. I wait several hours, and since it was getting late we agreed to try the next day. The next day (blow off #2) it was the same thing. He said he just had to finish a few things at work, so I'm waiting, waiting, waiting until he finally texts that he's done but he's tired and going home to sleep. At that point I'm annoyed, so I wait until the next morning to check in. He doesn't respond for a day. I text again the next day to say the lack of communication seems like he isn't interested anymore. He responds a bit later saying he definitely still is interested, just busy, and we set up another time to meet. We have a little communication between then and the day we're supposed to see each other. However, when it comes time to see each other, he flakes again. He texts me he'll be at the meeting place soon. I wait for several hours (ran into some people I knew), and he never shows. I get a text the next morning apologizing that he fell asleep from his hectic travel schedule lately. Fine. We'll try again the next night. I actually run into him that next morning and we have a quick exchange where he tells me how beautiful I am, yadda, yadda, yadda. Night comes, he says he's coming to our meeting spot again but has gotten delayed by his business dinner. Hours go by and I eventually text saying I'm not waiting anymore. Next morning I get another apology that his phone died and a promise he would ping me the next weekend, which would be right after coming back from another business trip. Well, it's the Sunday of that weekend and I still haven't heard from him. Anyone care to help me interpret this? What should I do? Part of me wants to give him the benefit of the doubt, but I'm so sick and tired of the lack of communication and spending hours waiting. He's not really interested in you, is too bored to tell you so. Makes up excuses why he didn't come out to you. Doesn't call you back or text you back which means he's telling you to get the hint. Don't bother him he's not interested in you. Again he could have someone else on the side like a wife or another woman as his steady eddy girlfriend. You need to stop wasting your current life with this jerk. Why would you wait on him? Is he really worth you time? Does he care nope he doesn't give a dam about your needs and happiness. He's all about him and you now see it too! Wake-up get your self back in order move on and push off this guy he's not worth-it and you know it! Charms and grace can't over come the face of this behavior saying listen I am not into you I am bore of you just leave me the hell alone. That's pretty much what he's saying and doing. But he's not man enough to say that to you. So he's just strings you along and you follow his lead. Stop doing that okay not good for you. Better men out there than he isn't one of those men for you! 1
smackie9 Posted August 19, 2018 Posted August 19, 2018 His interest has faded and he's just being a coward to dump you....he's hoping you will finally give up. I bet money on it when you do dump him he isn't going to be too upset about it or fight for you. Date those who treat you the way you want to be treated...when they fade it's time to save your dignity and move on.
Zahara Posted August 20, 2018 Posted August 20, 2018 You should have walked away a long time ago. You teach people how to treat you. And you have taught him that you’ll tolerate being disrespected over and over again. Unfortunately, there’s no way up from here but down. Stop chasing him and trying to make him come your way. If he’s treating you like an option now, how do you think he’s going to treat you 6 months from now? Find your dignity and walk away. You need to believe you deserve better. Stop making excuses to justify bad behavior. 2
BluEyeL Posted August 20, 2018 Posted August 20, 2018 He isn’t interested in a relationship with you, he’s wasting your time and treats you badly. Please let him go and be available for a man who will really be interested in you to meet you !
kendahke Posted August 20, 2018 Posted August 20, 2018 (edited) He's standing you up every time. No more benefits of doubts!!!!!! The second time he did this, he should have been set adrift. He doesn't have interest in you and doesn't want to meet you. Bump what he's saying: what is he doing?? What are his actions? "I fell asleep" is the oldest, lamest excuse in the book. That phone has an alarm that can be set--he knew he was tired when he sat down, but he had no consideration or respect for you and your time, so he didn't set the alarm for your meet up at the restaurant. I'd block him and move on. He doesn't want anything with you. Edited August 20, 2018 by kendahke 1
Redhead14 Posted August 25, 2018 Posted August 25, 2018 previous relationship -- Given your narrative, I'd say the relationship is "current". Part of me wants to give him the benefit of the doubt, -- Doubt is not a benefit in a relationship. He's had three strikes (4 actually). Treat it like baseball . . . Tell him that the scenario does not meet your dating needs and wish him well.
Desesperado Posted August 26, 2018 Posted August 26, 2018 His interest has faded and he's just being a coward to dump you....he's hoping you will finally give up. I bet money on it when you do dump him he isn't going to be too upset about it or fight for you. Date those who treat you the way you want to be treated...when they fade it's time to save your dignity and move on. Dumping what, there's nothing qualifying here as relationship so nothing to be dumped. OP block the guy and go on with your life, there is no need to even qualify him with a "I'm done" text, I always say as a man show the behaviors you would like to get in your relationships, he's showing you only avoidance and disinterest, so just show him the same, move on !
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