Britney25 Posted August 18, 2018 Posted August 18, 2018 (edited) So this guy asked me out and I finally agreed to go out with him next week since we live 1hr away from each other but the thing is he keeps texting me everyday! He wants to know how my day is, what I ate, what my plans are, says good morning, goodnight sometimes. Sends me photos of his day. It's like we are in a relationship. Is this normal???!!! Also plans trips and we haven't met! I feel he is clingy. He is 41 btw. Edited August 18, 2018 by Britney25
Author Britney25 Posted August 18, 2018 Author Posted August 18, 2018 Basically I want to know if I'm overreacting or he is showing clingy behavior
preraph Posted August 18, 2018 Posted August 18, 2018 He's clingy and looking to be codependent. He need to be out living his own life instead of trying to live through the texts of a woman. He's got too much time on his hands. Doesn't he work???? Sounds like he's not your cup of tea, but if you hold out hope, then you have got to tell him "I'm too busy to text unless there's a good reason."
alphamale Posted August 18, 2018 Posted August 18, 2018 So this guy asked me out and I finally agreed to go out with him next week since we live 1hr away from each other but the thing is he keeps texting me everyday! He wants to know how my day is, what I ate, what my plans are, says good morning, goodnight sometimes. Sends me photos of his day. It's like we are in a relationship. Is this normal???!!! Also plans trips and we haven't met! I feel he is clingy. He is 41 btw. this guy is a clingy nerd loser. you should cancel your date with him
guest569 Posted August 18, 2018 Posted August 18, 2018 When you say you "finally agreed" what do you mean? How many times did he ask? Doesn't matter if we think he is clingy, but it's obviously all too much for you. Do you respond to these texts?
dream of me Posted August 18, 2018 Posted August 18, 2018 Uh, Asking about your day is fine, but everything else is too much, even for me (I'm a bit needy myself). If he did all of these things after some dates it would be fine. I would be quite wary. If you haven't even met he may just be trying to get you into bed.
guest569 Posted August 18, 2018 Posted August 18, 2018 Uh, Asking about your day is fine, but everything else is too much, even for me (I'm a bit needy myself). If he did all of these things after some dates it would be fine. I would be quite wary. If you haven't even met he may just be trying to get you into bed. I don't think this is a good strategy for getting into someone's bed. He might be one of these rush in, rush out types. Madly passionately in love in an instant and then out the door. Just a guess.
Author Britney25 Posted August 18, 2018 Author Posted August 18, 2018 When you say you "finally agreed" what do you mean? How many times did he ask? Doesn't matter if we think he is clingy, but it's obviously all too much for you. Do you respond to these texts? Well he tried 6 months. Yes sometimes I reply, sometimes i ignore. If I ignore a text he still initiates next day.
Author Britney25 Posted August 18, 2018 Author Posted August 18, 2018 He's clingy and looking to be codependent. He need to be out living his own life instead of trying to live through the texts of a woman. He's got too much time on his hands. Doesn't he work???? Sounds like he's not your cup of tea, but if you hold out hope, then you have got to tell him "I'm too busy to text unless there's a good reason." He owns his own business. I mean even if I was so attracted to him texting everyday is too much!! We are not a couple
Author Britney25 Posted August 18, 2018 Author Posted August 18, 2018 I don't think this is a good strategy for getting into someone's bed. He might be one of these rush in, rush out types. Madly passionately in love in an instant and then out the door. Just a guess. That's what I'm thinking too because sometimes he texted me things like: it would be nice to have someone to cuddle with or take care of when you're sick. Or that hes looking for something serious. Other times you look like you're a good cuddler. Planning trips when we haven't met yet!
Author Britney25 Posted August 18, 2018 Author Posted August 18, 2018 Uh, Asking about your day is fine, but everything else is too much, even for me (I'm a bit needy myself). If he did all of these things after some dates it would be fine. I would be quite wary. If you haven't even met he may just be trying to get you into bed. We haven't met so that's why I dont understand all these texts everyday! Even if he is just saying goodnight hes always checking in. I'm begging to think that's why hes 41 and single hes ****ing needy! 1
TheFinalWord Posted August 18, 2018 Posted August 18, 2018 Yeah, that's a bit much. He's probably just excited and a bit lonely. Try going on the date and then you can feel him out.
Gretchen12 Posted August 18, 2018 Posted August 18, 2018 i wouldn't use the word clingy because there is no attachment yet to cling to. He's having a go at the idea of a relationship. Weird. If you are in a serious relationship then text everyday is ok I think.
Author Britney25 Posted August 19, 2018 Author Posted August 19, 2018 i wouldn't use the word clingy because there is no attachment yet to cling to. He's having a go at the idea of a relationship. Weird. If you are in a serious relationship then text everyday is ok I think. Would you say that's a warning sign?
preraph Posted August 19, 2018 Posted August 19, 2018 Since he's that persistent, if you want to get rid of him, just block him every way possible because he's not going down easy.
Author Britney25 Posted August 19, 2018 Author Posted August 19, 2018 Ok but what should I do? I mean of hes acting like this already what will happen after we go out? I'm having second thoughts to actually meeting him.
Gretchen12 Posted August 19, 2018 Posted August 19, 2018 You need to not answer his texts everyday, and not tell him details about yourself when he asks. Yes he is being strange but maybe you responded a few times and that encouraged him. I don't know. Just saying that if you keep replying then you contributed. When one person moves too fast, the other person should slow him down. If you look for warning signs and bail every time, you will be single for a long time.
Gaeta Posted August 19, 2018 Posted August 19, 2018 Are you of the same culture? Approach to dating is different from one continent to another. I dated foreign men that were used to agressively pursue women with several communication, compliments, making plans etc. It's how things are done in their culture. If he is not of a different culture then I say he's bad news.
OatsAndHall Posted August 19, 2018 Posted August 19, 2018 If you don't want to date him then don't answer his texts or agree to a date. Or just come out and tell him you're not interested. His behavior is over the top but you might be somewhat feeding into it by responding to any texts. Some guys can't take a hint and some guys don't WANT to take a hint. The only way they figure it out is if you cut them off. 2
Author Britney25 Posted August 19, 2018 Author Posted August 19, 2018 Are you of the same culture? Approach to dating is different from one continent to another. I dated foreign men that were used to agressively pursue women with several communication, compliments, making plans etc. It's how things are done in their culture. If he is not of a different culture then I say he's bad news. Hes American and I'm European. I find it a bit strange he is this on like we are I. a relationship already.
Author Britney25 Posted August 19, 2018 Author Posted August 19, 2018 You need to not answer his texts everyday, and not tell him details about yourself when he asks. Yes he is being strange but maybe you responded a few times and that encouraged him. I don't know. Just saying that if you keep replying then you contributed. When one person moves too fast, the other person should slow him down. If you look for warning signs and bail every time, you will be single for a long time. I already ignored his text yesterday and after a few hours he texts me again goodnight. I still ignored it. You're right I'm not going to respond for 2-3 days to test him if he goes crazy ass on me! Then I'm out.
Author Britney25 Posted August 19, 2018 Author Posted August 19, 2018 If you don't want to date him then don't answer his texts or agree to a date. Or just come out and tell him you're not interested. His behavior is over the top but you might be somewhat feeding into it by responding to any texts. Some guys can't take a hint and some guys don't WANT to take a hint. The only way they figure it out is if you cut them off. I wanted to go out with him to see that maybe he is not a bad guy BUT he is texting everyday , a few times a day and asking questions that pertain to a couple. We never met yet so he shouldn't be checking in on me like that.
coolheadal Posted August 19, 2018 Posted August 19, 2018 So this guy asked me out and I finally agreed to go out with him next week since we live 1hr away from each other but the thing is he keeps texting me everyday! He wants to know how my day is, what I ate, what my plans are, says good morning, goodnight sometimes. Sends me photos of his day. It's like we are in a relationship. Is this normal???!!! Also plans trips and we haven't met! I feel he is clingy. He is 41 btw. Tell this guy your not interested in him. If he doesn't stop you'll file harassment order on him with the police. That should stop the bombing texting. He's just on too you like someone would if they thought they had a chance with you. You need to understand what's the real picture here. Not the fact that he's clingy it's the fact that he's a controller. He wants things his way like he runs his business. He wouldn't make a good date or anything with you. Tell him to push off now! 1
alphamale Posted August 19, 2018 Posted August 19, 2018 I wanted to go out with him to see that maybe he is not a bad guy BUT he is texting everyday , a few times a day and asking questions that pertain to a couple. We never met yet so he shouldn't be checking in on me like that. you need to ditch this weirdo 1
anika99 Posted August 19, 2018 Posted August 19, 2018 This is not good. At best he's desperate to be in a relationship and he doesn't care who it's with. He's already decided that you are going to be his girlfriend before he's even had 1 date with you. At worst he's one of those delusional stalker types who will never go away and may even become dangerous to a woman who tries to reject him. I hate to make him sound like a bad guy if he is not. He's probably not dangerous but you do need to be careful. Tell him you just don't like texting everyday and see how he responds. If he doesn't back off and give you some space then you should cancel the date.
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