Sammygirl Posted August 18, 2018 Posted August 18, 2018 (edited) Hello I started texting this guy about a month and a half ago and he was all 'Netflix and chill' and it was the only way he would make plans. I rejected it. But we were still playful and flirty. One day he surprised me with an actual date. It went really well but based on his attitude via texting sounding like a ****boy I was surprised that he didn't make any sort of move. But shrugged it off. He was still very flirty and suggestive via text. Second date still nothing. Ok cool. We Havnt talked much recently due to busy schedules but he still went out of his way to make plans with me this week. I invited him over to see what would happen. Nothing. Didn't sit close to me. He still didn't even make a move to kiss and at this point I feel like I've been friendzoned. He's flirty via text and we hangout every week but in person he's just a friendly nice guy. I'm wondering what's going on here. If there was no 'Netflix and chill' like attitude via text I would of just assumed he's seen me as a friend but I'm very confused right now. I think he just had that attitude because he's young and doesn't see himself in something super serious in the near future but is open to the idea just isn't actively looking. He's on dating sites and uses them frequently... I'm assuming for Netflix and chill. But we talk alot and hangout alot and it seems like he's not seeing anybody else but what is going on with me here then? We are in our mid 20s and he's very good looking. I feel like he could have anybody he wants. Judt wondering if maybe I'm wasting my time. He's hard to read. I would love to ask him what's up but at this point don't know how. Edited August 18, 2018 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Paragraphs
preraph Posted August 18, 2018 Posted August 18, 2018 Maybe he's all talk and just more comfortable talking about it than doing it. He's still talking to women I'm sure, but I'd see if she keeps showing any interest and then maybe snuggle next time and maybe kiss. But if he is not contacting and asking you to do things regularly, blow him off.
Exformer Posted August 18, 2018 Posted August 18, 2018 Well, my guess is one of two options playing out. One: He has no clue what he's doing. You say he's good looking and could date anybody. Maybe that's the problem. He doesn't have to try, and therefore doesn't even know how to go about it properly, but also doesn't worry about it, because there will always be someone else. He's hanging with you, and maybe something will happen, or maybe he'll just hook up with any number of other girls giving him attention. He doesn't want anything serious and doesn't need to try to make anything serious happen, because he's got options out there. Two: He knows exactly what he's doing. He was trying for something chill and casual, looking to just hook up. You weren't interested until he put in effort, but he still doesn't want something serious. Now he's throwing just enough mixed game to make you want him to want you, but not enough that you are sure he wants you. But you're hanging out anyway, which means he could get you to make a move on his terms one of these hangout sessions. Then he gets to hook up and keep it casual like he wanted. 1
smackie9 Posted August 18, 2018 Posted August 18, 2018 I can't imagine, a guy, that can pretty much get anyone to hookup with him would put in all this effort just to see if he can get someone in the sack for something casual. Maybe he's giving you a shot for something real. Maybe it turns out he likes you. For now he's following your lead...you rejected the netflix and chill, so now he knows what your expectations are and he is waiting for you to give him the green light to progress or he's taking his time. Just because he's attractive doesn't mean he has confidence. Maybe he's all talk via text, but isn't really all that in person. I say keep at it with caution and see. I had an ex that was drop dead gorgeous, he too could have anyone, girls were nuts about him, and my friends were amazed that he was my BF. Hey anything is possible.
Desesperado Posted August 20, 2018 Posted August 20, 2018 (edited) Honestly I'd lean as others said towards, that him being so handsome that he never had to work to get dates, most likely the guy has no clue how this is done. Because your premise to me is wrong, with my definition of friendzone, men do not have such a thing, except very few weird exception. To me the friendzone, is when a guy likes a woman, she knows this but doesn't like him and keeps him around for attention, getting asked out sometimes and just being taken care off because men do the chase that's the way of things. Of course this to me means good women do not have a friendzone, they are very clear that they don't like you and then you accept it or not, which is best for everyone. I think guys either are attracted sexually and will stick around, for different kinds of interaction/relationship, or they don't and seek someone else, because they will put energy chasing someone else, not energy in some kind of friendzone, that's why to me mostly men don't have it. And maybe I'm wrong on this guy, but it's also a bit tiring to read topics where women always expect men to go straight to sex. Some like me need time to be comfy with a woman because of horrendously fast past relationship, there's nothing wrong playing it cool, as long as you have boundaries and are enjoying yourself. Edited August 20, 2018 by Desesperado
Rocker71 Posted August 20, 2018 Posted August 20, 2018 I have some experience here. I used to be that guy and lost out on a girl that really did it for me. This happened with me. I was too timid to make the move 4 times. She gave me 4 chances/dates to make the move and get close and flirty. I froze up each time because I guess I mistakenly believed she wanted to replace her current bf then. I wanted to present myself as a potential bf to her. And so giving off bf energy when she just wanted sex at that time kinda scared her away. I think the guy likes you and is being a little too respectful, causing him to be too timid. He's afraid of coming off as a sleazy creep to you. I'd say rub his thigh and make it seem like you did it Absent-mindedly. Then keep your hand there. If he can't get that hint there, he'll need to learn the hard way like I did.
MidwestUSA Posted August 20, 2018 Posted August 20, 2018 Maybe he's just really, really into Netflix. Maybe he can't afford his own subscription, so trolls the dating site for chicks who have it. Did he ask for popcorn and SnoCaps? Or Lemonheads? 1
kendahke Posted August 20, 2018 Posted August 20, 2018 Judt wondering if maybe I'm wasting my time. I think you are. If he hasn't made some kind of move (or you haven't made a move) to demonstrate interest, then there isn't sufficient interest in anything other than texting banter. If he didn't have good looks, how would you go about dealing with this? Don't let how he looks impact how you would have dealt with this if he was less handsome. At the end of the day, it's about how that person esteems you, not how are you going to fit this cute guy into your life or how far you have to twist yourself up to have him.
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