karen67 Posted September 5, 2005 Posted September 5, 2005 I met a guy on line about a month ago,we hit it off and decided to meet in person.I traveled by bus 8 hrs.to meet him.I went into this experience with a open mind...And both of us got more then we bargained for!!!!! We had a immediate connection,mind ,body,heart,and soul...We promised each other when we parted that we would see eachother again...We talked daily on the phone,he has come to visit me twice.he told me he was fallen for me,and it wasn't to long before we confessed ''I LOVE YOU'',he was first though... Our time together was magical...but everytime we had to part we couldn't stand the good-byes.It hurt so much to see him leave.Then one day recently just before I was suppose to go to visit him and meet his family.He sent me a e-mail and it basically said that he loves me,and wishes there was away we could be closer,but he can't fool himself anymore.He can't stand that I am here and he is there.So it's best we end it before it get's any harder.He said he can't afford the phone call's and the gas prices are insane.He swears there's noone else,hasn't been and won't be.that he loves me with all his heart and soul..maybe it's just bad timing...I have tried calling him and he won't even take my call's.I am hurting so much..
Jtizzle Posted September 5, 2005 Posted September 5, 2005 all that in one month..geesh..sound like a soap opera..but i will admit and say that i ovastand what you are saying and i guess in a sense i have been in that kind of situation myself. Him saying that to you and just out of the blue, could be he's found someone else, not that into you (as he has said and as u want to believe), or he wants to live closer, be it you with him, or him with you. and then he makes excuses of he cant afford the phone calls..damn..does he not have a cell phone? why dont you send him a carepackage with out of calling cards and then see whats his excuse.. yes gas prices are high, but you two could meet halfway, that way you both are sharing the burden and whatnot..theres ways of being "CLOSE" without being "close"..but you have to have a open mind about that in order for it to work.. a person that loves you, wont give up on you that easily if everything is all good..i mean thats just how i see it..if thats the case that he cant take the distance between yall two, he should have thought of that before he even thought to commit hisself..if you truly love him, give him time,call him once more, leave a message saying how you feel and how its not fair that he said what he had to say but doesnt let you get your point across..if he calls, good, if not, even better..dont put all your eggs in one basket..do YOU girl, and dont be there waiting around for him when he might not ever come around..dont depend on noone to make you happy but yourself
RecordProducer Posted September 5, 2005 Posted September 5, 2005 He swears there's noone else,hasn't been and won't be.that he loves me with all his heart and soul.. Can you believe every word he says after only a month? He visited you twice in the last month and already gave up. I've been in a LDR for a whole year. We live on different continents. My guy visited me 4 times so far. It's hard but we hope to join our lives at some point in the future soon enough. However if you're too young and need to finish school and achieve many goals before living together, I can understand him. In any case, giving up after a month sounds a bit odd to me. Many people pursue LDRs for many months then one moves to be with the other one. Perhaps he will change his mind. If he loves you, he will. Just accept the reality and don't ask him for another chance. If he misses you, he will look for you.
Mikie Posted September 6, 2005 Posted September 6, 2005 I met a guy on line about a month ago,we hit it off and decided to meet in person.I traveled by bus 8 hrs.to meet him.I went into this experience with a open mind...And both of us got more then we bargained for!!!!! We had a immediate connection,mind ,body,heart,and soul...We promised each other when we parted that we would see eachother again...We talked daily on the phone,he has come to visit me twice.he told me he was fallen for me,and it wasn't to long before we confessed ''I LOVE YOU'',he was first though... Our time together was magical...but everytime we had to part we couldn't stand the good-byes.It hurt so much to see him leave.Then one day recently just before I was suppose to go to visit him and meet his family.He sent me a e-mail and it basically said that he loves me,and wishes there was away we could be closer,but he can't fool himself anymore.He can't stand that I am here and he is there.So it's best we end it before it get's any harder.He said he can't afford the phone call's and the gas prices are insane.He swears there's noone else,hasn't been and won't be.that he loves me with all his heart and soul..maybe it's just bad timing...I have tried calling him and he won't even take my call's.I am hurting so much.. I got you beat. Meet someone online who lives 850 miles away. Chat all the time, then talk, then make a connection. Decide you've met the one. They tell you they have herpes. Deal with it long and hard. Decide to meet them anyway. Fall in love. Try to move to their state, but can't find good jobs in your field. See each other only every other month. Distance takes it's toll. Relationship deterorates badly. Break up. Wonder if if you have herpes yourself and if anyone will want you. Get a call two months later being she has found someone and it now pregnant by them after dating two months. (so she says) oh, and he's about to hit 60. We were both in our late 20's. yeah, you have it easy. I still think about her. Given the choice, I will never do this again. LDR =
Outcast Posted September 6, 2005 Posted September 6, 2005 You maybe don't want to use which usually means excitement, thrills, and happiness.
TnT Posted September 6, 2005 Posted September 6, 2005 Hmm... interesting situation. IMO i would be a little worried if someone told me they loved me after talking to me for a month. Love is a deep connection and is not a simple thing. I do not c how someone can love another person after knowing them a short time. I hate to make that sound so negative, but how well can u know someone after a month? As far as him not being interested anymore.... well, thats his bad luck. If he has no determination in life to pursure a love he says he has, then why would u want such a lazy person in ur life anyway? I hope u find someone who has the energy to want to be with u, no matter how close or far away they live.
Author karen67 Posted September 6, 2005 Author Posted September 6, 2005 I realize that a month is not a long time...But I have read many posts here stating you '' just know'' when you have met the one.I am not a school age girl,I am in my 30's.So I have had my experiences with relationship's.And I knew from the moment we met there was a connection.So did he.It was like we had known each other for ever,time had passed and we were picking up where we had left off.Sound's crazy? probably..but I will tell you that I know in my heart he loves me as I do him.I am just not sure what he is thinking,to have walked away so easily..We both have children from previous relationship's and at this point due to custody issues I can not just pick up and move.I wish it were that easy...I have come to term's that I may not here from him again,which is really sad,because this time next year I will be moving to his country,regardless whether he is there waiting to welcome me and my son or not....I also think there maybe some outside influence going on.Advice from his family maybe??? Just trying to protect him from anymore dissappointing relationship's that he has experienced in his past....Any word's of wisdom would be greatly appreciated.........
Skeered Posted September 6, 2005 Posted September 6, 2005 I'm so sorry to hear that you are going through this...I have posted a couple of times about my LDR that is now no longer LD because he lives with me. I had a similar situation in that he lived in FL and I in AZ and I'm going through all my divorce and child custody stuff now and I can't move. But I will tell you that our relationship was very real, very strong and the greatest thing that has ever happened to me...we were talkin online since November 04 as friends didn't get serious until March 05 and in April I met him for the first time and in the beginning of August he moved out here and is now living with me...the distance that we shared just for that short time was like hell... As far as what this guy has done..I agree with the others on here that have said to call one more time and try to tell him how you feel if he doesn't except the call then carry on with your life..but your relationship may have been too much for him to even understand how to cope with the distance...it's a strain but well worth it in the end if it's meant to be it will happen...
kgal Posted September 6, 2005 Posted September 6, 2005 Wow... I am so sorry to hear that. I really feel for you. You know what? I think that if he truly did love you, he wouldn't let even the traffic stop him! You really deserve someone who would move mountains to be with you!! Remember that you are worth any gas price and no distance should keep you apart if it's true love. You both have sacrificed to be together... so why stop? I just feel maybe he's not in it for the long haul. Good luck, cheer up hon! Don't worry about it.
RecordProducer Posted September 7, 2005 Posted September 7, 2005 Sometimes we believe we are loved because we love and we want to believe in it. But often love is dellusional and things are just not the way they appear. If he loves you, he will look for you.
Houdini's Sweetie Posted September 8, 2005 Posted September 8, 2005 Just like Daniel Day-Lewis says to Madeleine Stowe in "The Last of the Mohicans" when they're forced to part: "No matter how far, no matter how long it takes, I WILL find you." That's what you have to hold out for, karen!
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