What should normally signal exclusivity??

[jrflorida]

Well, I have been dating a girl for 2 months. We are in our 30's.

 

We are extremely passionate with each other. We think of each other non-stop.. We cannot wait to see each other when we are apart. And recently we had "the talk".

 

She asked me where we are headed, and what I want. I told her, I dont want anyone else, I want to get to know her more, and that I want to be with her, exclusively. She really didnt say much, except for if i think it is "too early to be exclusive", which kind of hurt me. Through much of our relationship, she has always been the one contacting me, saying more to me, along the lines of how much she likes me, how much she misses me, etc etc. So, it is a shock to hear that she doesnt know if we should be exclusive.

 

So at this point, I think it would be extremely strange to tell her "well, i had a date last night", or vice versa. We have become extremely close. And i cant picture her being with someone else either. After I told her this, she said she is "scared", and doesnt want to make a mistake. She thinks i might leave her in a year or 2 for someone younger, which would hurt her very much, so she doesnt want to get close to me. She said she wants to, but doesnt know if she is able to. But she is also telling me how she cannot imagine not having me in her life. Throught out this talk, she was also very emotional.

 

My question is, what should normally signal exculsivity. If i am with someone constantly, kissing for hours, talking, making love, getting to know them more and more, for 2 months, I think it has past a point of "casually dating." It is hard to continue to put so much energy, thought,and passion into someone, if they are basically saying they wont let you get any closer. Her words, however, are much different from her actions. She will say she doesnt want me to be close, but the way we are apart, and together, signals that she does want me to be close.

 

I really notice the entire process of attraction, and withdrawal from her. She wants to make things close... then when they become close, she withdrawals. ANy advice?