Springsummer Posted August 17, 2018 Posted August 17, 2018 (edited) so, this online person last conversation was on Friday. I replies on Tuesday noon. Now Thursday evening...no response. is this a revenge thing or he is never going to reply to me? I feel like a torture. Edited August 17, 2018 by Springsummer
Shining One Posted August 17, 2018 Posted August 17, 2018 so, this online person last conversation was on Friday. I replies on Tuesday noon. Now Thursday evening...no response. is this a revenge thing or he is never going to reply to me?Revenge is unlikely at this stage. He probably saw your lack of reply as disinterest on your part and moved on. 1
Normm Posted August 17, 2018 Posted August 17, 2018 You waited exactly 4 days to respond to him. It's been 2 days. According to my calculations you have exactly 2 more days to wait and then you will get a response from him. Please stand by. 3
Author Springsummer Posted August 17, 2018 Author Posted August 17, 2018 Revenge is unlikely at this stage. He probably saw your lack of reply as disinterest on your part and moved on. Should I delete him then?
d0nnivain Posted August 17, 2018 Posted August 17, 2018 I'd at least wait the 4 days. In the beginning, it's called mirroring -- you move at the pace set by the other person. 1
Author Springsummer Posted August 17, 2018 Author Posted August 17, 2018 wow, so calculating and tit for tat...what happen to spontaneity? so men don't take initiatives with women anymore?
Normm Posted August 17, 2018 Posted August 17, 2018 wow, so calculating and tit for tat...what happen to spontaneity? so men don't take initiatives with women anymore? The tit for tat IS an initiative.
basil67 Posted August 17, 2018 Posted August 17, 2018 wow, so calculating and tit for tat...what happen to spontaneity? so men don't take initiatives with women anymore? It's not tit for tat, he's simply reflecting the amount of interest you've shown towards him. If you're keen to have frequent conversation, you have to hold up your end of the deal. I also agree with the poster who said that he may well have interpreted your 4 day delay as low interest on your part and moved on.
Normm Posted August 17, 2018 Posted August 17, 2018 It's not tit for tat, he's simply reflecting the amount of interest you've shown towards him. If you're keen to have frequent conversation, you have to hold up your end of the deal. If the relationship progresses, the first gifts you exchange could be timers. 2
vintagesangria Posted August 17, 2018 Posted August 17, 2018 so, this online person last conversation was on Friday. I replies on Tuesday noon. Now Thursday evening...no response. is this a revenge thing or he is never going to reply to me? I feel like a torture. It is online. You can't really hold someone accountable for on-line time if you don't know exactly what has been going on- which you wouldn't. Cyber world is very different from the real world.
carhill Posted August 17, 2018 Posted August 17, 2018 If it don't flow, let it go. Also, stick to your natural communication style. It will fit with some, not with others. If you find no positive results, then take a look at it for possible changes. If you like men to be proactive and initiators, that's cool. Some will, some won't. The wider your dating pool, the more allowances for such differences.
salparadise Posted August 17, 2018 Posted August 17, 2018 wow, so calculating and tit for tat...what happen to spontaneity? so men don't take initiatives with women anymore? Did he not take the initiative of messaging first? So you want him to demonstrate maximum enthusiasm while you play coy and aloof? If you want things to work, meet'em half way and show up without the tiara. 1
Chilli Posted August 17, 2018 Posted August 17, 2018 Yep , exactly. This is why every time l read all these games and coys and aloofs and damn bs. l just think wtf , your just starting a poss relationship on games and it hasn't even begun yet. And all that shyt'll get you is more games back.
anika99 Posted August 17, 2018 Posted August 17, 2018 oh, well, man...sigh... Why do you even care? Since you blew him off for four days yourself it doesn't seem like you are even interested. You find it torture because ha hasn't replied in two days yet you think it's fine to not reply to someone for four days. You should treat others as you wish to be treated. If you are going to be aloof and unresponsive to people then you should not be surprised when you receive the same attitude in return. 2
guest569 Posted August 17, 2018 Posted August 17, 2018 4 days is a long wait these days. In future I would add an apology for the delayed response. Do you think this helps at all? I'm hopeless at responding tbh. 1
glows Posted August 18, 2018 Posted August 18, 2018 You were a tit for waiting 4 days. The other person just has better things to do. Why did you move at a snail’s pace? Seeing someone else? Move on.
Otter2569 Posted August 18, 2018 Posted August 18, 2018 Why on Earth do you think that a guy should jump to respond to you in a timely manner when you take days to respond to him? He is just giving you the same level of respect you give him. If you want better, give better. Agree 110% Senses and subtleties are on high with online dating because that's all you have to go on. I would take your slow response as lack of interest and thus move you to the bottom of the list. If your response was lackluster I would just move on. There is an endless supply of options online or so it appears.
salparadise Posted August 18, 2018 Posted August 18, 2018 Agree 110% Senses and subtleties are on high with online dating because that's all you have to go on. I would take your slow response as lack of interest and thus move you to the bottom of the list. If your response was lackluster I would just move on. There is an endless supply of options online or so it appears. Yes, yes. And there is this curious attitude that [most] women seem to have, that a guy should demonstrate that he is into them, even before meeting or having any basis for forming an attachment. We see them giving each other advice all the time to defect due to low interest (pursuit not diligent enough),and talking about ways to gauge interest. It's like they expect the guy to be pre-sold, while they hold back and assess, assess, assess without giving him any indication or encouragement. It's a two-way street here ladies. If you have expectations in this regard, you should be meeting those same expectations. If a guy messages you first three days in a row and on the fourth day you don't hear from him... why on earth would you see that as a problem with HIM instead of just taking some initiative and holding up your end of the conversation? One hundred percent of my interactions with women who have these kinds of expectations end up fizzling due to lack of reciprocity on their end. It takes many forms; if I send a message of say four paragraphs and a question, and she responds with a five word answer to the question, we're probably done. If she says something irrelevant and sidesteps the question, done. I'd love to hear what the thinking is from the women's perspective.
Mrin Posted August 18, 2018 Posted August 18, 2018 I wont go Tit for Tat per se but I will mirror their interest level. If you have decent pics and good profile then there is no shortage of women to talk to. I'm not going to put much effort into chasing a woman who doesn't reciprocate especially before I've even met her. It's just not worth my time.
grays Posted August 18, 2018 Posted August 18, 2018 Four days is a long time. I'd be on to the next for sure.
Author Springsummer Posted August 20, 2018 Author Posted August 20, 2018 still no response. That's more than tit for tat. should I go ahead and unmatch? it's not about interest level. we both know there are interest, it's just some conflicts, upset and maybe miscommunication. for me it's not easy to find someone more interest. I don't know why guys in this thread say they will easily to move to someone else. yes, I got thousands of likes, but very few I am interested. maybe I am too picky.
Shining One Posted August 20, 2018 Posted August 20, 2018 I don't know why guys in this thread say they will easily to move to someone else.It's simple. You're probably not the only woman he's been communicating with. He likely moved on with a woman (or women) who responded in a more timely fashion. I know I would (and have) in that situation. 1
Author Springsummer Posted August 20, 2018 Author Posted August 20, 2018 It's simple. You're probably not the only woman he's been communicating with. He likely moved on with a woman (or women) who responded in a more timely fashion. I know I would (and have) in that situation. yup, it's interesting why men have so many interested women. I need to broaden my taste?
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