Do I end my 4 year friendship with male friend because of my boyfriend?

[preraph]

^ Exactly on the nose.

[MissBee]

I have a male friend who lives out of state and I'd like to visit him this month. He wants to take my daughter to a theme park for her birthday (that he missed). I think my male friend will pay for the majority of the expenses, it's possible.

 

I now have a boyfriend of almost 4 months and he disagrees with me going if my male friend will pay for everything, he says it's wrong.I on the other hand don't see it as wrong because we were invited.

 

My boyfriend and I are not doing the best financially. He says he wants to be able to give me a couple hundred and send me off. He says what if something happens and I don't have money ...

 

I asked him if it's because he doesn't trust me he says no it's not about that it's because of the financial situation. I guess he feels that he's my boyfriend and he's the one who is supposed to do these things, not my friend.

 

This is my friend. He liked me at one point (to date me) and he might still like me. I don't have any romantic feelings for him. I think he's a good guy.

I would like to hear people's opinions on this.

 

All was okay for me until the bold.

 

I believe in innocent platonic friendships where you can visit friends and they can treat you or your children, especially, to things. Most mature people have those. And in situations where a partner of a few months is super jealous of a longer standing friendship for no real reason other than their own insecurity, I'd advise that the partner should really work through those insecurities and I wouldn't ever end a a years-long friendship for a partner of 4 months who may or may not be around next month.

 

However, once you actually admit that this is a friend who has been and may still be romantically interested in you, your story loses all of that credibility. Even if you don't like the friend, I think if he likes you you're probably taking advantage of this like, consciously or unconsciously, to get things from him. If someone likes me romantically and I don't feel the same, I'm extremely careful not to take gifts or accept certain things from them that would provide false hope. The other issue is that it's disingenuous to know the friend might look you but sort of act like you don't get why your partner might feel insecure about such a trip.

 

I don't think you need to end the friendship per se but I do think for the friend, your relationship and yourself you should be honest about things and create some new boundaries around what's acceptable in this "friendship" that may be tinged with romantic desire on at least one person's part.