ForrestGump Posted August 14, 2018 Posted August 14, 2018 (edited) Hello everybody! Sorry for my bad english skills Im new on the forum and obviously there has been happened something in my life that has drawn me here. There was a break up. I'm here to talk to you guys cause my friends and family are already overburdened by this situation of mine. So my girlfriend of 5 years dumped me 2 weeks ago by text message. Told me many reasons why our relationship has no future. Later i called her and asked what is this and why she hasn't said anything to me earlier so we could fix things (for example the main reason was that I was not doing enough cleaning at house which I thought I got better at). Well after a few minutes she suggested a break. I told her that it would be ok if we don't see other people and use the time to reflect our feelings for each other and think about what we can do to improve our relationship. It was not ok to her. She wanted to see other people. I got suspicious. I asked does she have an affair. She said no. In several hours I arrived home from work I could not resist the urge to look her FB messages. Turned out she had another man se had fell in for 3 days earlier. The hurt was unreal. When I found out I send an message to my gf "Are you cheating on me with this *name of dude*?". She was not supposed to come home that night. She was supposed to stay with her new man. But something snapped in her head and she had to return home. We talked about it. She was pissed at me that I looked he Facebook (Few days later she apologized me) After that we had few days of silence. She told me that she does not not even know that guy and she does not want to date anyone right now, but to clear her head and get to truly know what she feels about us. She said she still has feelings but there is so much negative stuff that she just feels confused/numb. I was willing to work things out and give her time, I even suggested couples therapy. She wanted just to break up with me. During the break up process she said something that I cant always let her bad behaviour slide and forgive her mistakes and she must punish herself... Also she said that her feelings for me were unclear, but she still loved me for some degree. She said she even might call me next few weeks cause her head was a mess with all these feelings. She tried to hug and kiss me multiple times during the break up talk (!?!). She made me to move out of our home less than week, cause she needs space, and im being couch surfing ever since with my dog and I dumped all my personal belongings at friends house. We have been on no contact since. I told her not to contact me unless she wants to work things out, otherwise I will try to kill my feelings for her and move on. My only condition was that there can be no other guys, I'm not an second option. I heard from a common friend she misses the dog . What you guys think is there hope in this absurd situation? Could she have some kind of mental meltdown or what do you guys think? PS. Might it be that she is just having some kind of crisis in her life? She is 25 and she was rejected from the school she wanted in. After that she told me few months ago that she wants to go abroad to study. She told that city we live in is boring and job she has sucks. She has always been bad at talking about her negative feelings. Edit: I forgot that she also talked something about that she wants to get back to dating phase and I should keep the key to the apartment. AND after that she JOKED that I should come over to **** but she has to throw me out before i make a mess. What is this? Edited August 14, 2018 by ForrestGump Forgot
ExpatInItaly Posted August 14, 2018 Posted August 14, 2018 No, she's not having mental breakdown and she's not suffering from a quarter-life crisis. She's young and outgrew your relationship, and happened to meet someone new. She wants to explore other situations and other guys. She told you that she might call in case the single life isn't as fun as she imagined. You can't hold on to hope for that, though. It doesn't mean a reconciliation will happen; it means she will come to you for comfort and attention and sex, until she meets the next guy she wants to date seriously. Then you won't hear from her like that anymore. I'm sorry OP, but this one's over. Don't agree to a break, or friendship, or FWB. It will only keep you stuck. 1
BluesPower Posted August 14, 2018 Posted August 14, 2018 No, she's not having mental breakdown and she's not suffering from a quarter-life crisis. She's young and outgrew your relationship, and happened to meet someone new. She wants to explore other situations and other guys. She told you that she might call in case the single life isn't as fun as she imagined. You can't hold on to hope for that, though. It doesn't mean a reconciliation will happen; it means she will come to you for comfort and attention and sex, until she meets the next guy she wants to date seriously. Then you won't hear from her like that anymore. I'm sorry OP, but this one's over. Don't agree to a break, or friendship, or FWB. It will only keep you stuck. Totally 100% correct... With maybe one other point. She was cheating with the guy, before she broke up with you, I think OP knows that? It hopefully will help him understand that she is not worth the heartache...
Normm Posted August 14, 2018 Posted August 14, 2018 She met somebody she likes better, that's all there is to it. Your house cleaning skills have nothing to do with it, they never did. 1
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