iaudio Posted August 14, 2018 Posted August 14, 2018 (edited) Broke up a few months ago due to her infidelity. Was a mess month after, but with therapy and friends I have progressed at a good pace. However, prior to the breakup my then GF moved into the same development as I.. a literary 5 minute walk, door to door. (Not fun) Anywho, the place has a pool for home owners to use. I started using it immediately once it opened, knowing I may run into my EX but also understanding I need to move on. I was using it for a good month (with no EX sighting) when I ended up meeting a woman I hadn't seen in years. Consider her my.. pool friend. Well, one day at the beginning of July my EX shows up at the same time I am conversing with my pool buddy. My pool buddy makes a comment that the lady looks over at us talking semi often. We chat for 2 hours, and leave with my EX left behind. No biggy, right? I go back a week later, around the same time just to relax. Guess who shows up around the same time the week prior? My EX. My gut tells me something is off. I reduce my pool visits due to weather and work constrictions, but go back last Thursday (the two previous run ins were also on Thursdays) but at a slightly later time. She is there again...she doesnt have set days off unless she requests those days. Are these quinkie dinks, or is she harping on Thursdays cause thats when she may think I go there the most? Edited August 14, 2018 by iaudio
Zahara Posted August 14, 2018 Posted August 14, 2018 Does it matter? What if she is checking on you -- does that change your reality with her? Does that change the fact that you still need to move on? Look, I had an ex that cheated on me too. And he would show up at places I frequented. At the end of the day, it didn't mean a thing because my objective and focus was to move on regardless of what his intent was -- unless you are playing with the thought of rekindling. You need to stop focusing on her.
Author iaudio Posted August 15, 2018 Author Posted August 15, 2018 Does it matter? What if she is checking on you -- does that change your reality with her? Does that change the fact that you still need to move on? Look, I had an ex that cheated on me too. And he would show up at places I frequented. At the end of the day, it didn't mean a thing because my objective and focus was to move on regardless of what his intent was -- unless you are playing with the thought of rekindling. You need to stop focusing on her. I want nothing to do with her to the point where I avoid her by sight.
d0nnivain Posted August 15, 2018 Posted August 15, 2018 Pretend she is a stranger & ignore her. Talk to your pool buddy. Live your life.
Zahara Posted August 15, 2018 Posted August 15, 2018 I want nothing to do with her to the point where I avoid her by sight. Then the question is moot. Change your pool days if you want to avoid her or live your life as usual and just ignore her. You can’t control what she does but you can control how you react to this situation. 2
preraph Posted August 15, 2018 Posted August 15, 2018 It sucks she moved in nextdoor, and I've been there. She did it specifically to keep an eye on you. Same reason my old bf did it. I wouldn't let him move in, so he moved next door, which amounted to the same thing, really. Yes, she's keeping tabs on you. Probably wants you back if she's hanging around the pool when you're there. The quicker you get a new girlfriend and make her move on, if that's what you want, the better. If you want her back, then get her back.
Author iaudio Posted August 15, 2018 Author Posted August 15, 2018 It sucks she moved in nextdoor, and I've been there. She did it specifically to keep an eye on you. Same reason my old bf did it. I wouldn't let him move in, so he moved next door, which amounted to the same thing, really. Yes, she's keeping tabs on you. Probably wants you back if she's hanging around the pool when you're there. The quicker you get a new girlfriend and make her move on, if that's what you want, the better. If you want her back, then get her back. Just as a clarification, my EX moved very close two months before she cheated. The pool incidents was post breakup. Getting back together? Not happening.
Author iaudio Posted August 16, 2018 Author Posted August 16, 2018 You're going nuts... She likes swimming. No, she doesn't. She likes to tan.
guest569 Posted August 18, 2018 Posted August 18, 2018 No, she doesn't. She likes to tan. In that case, definitely not going nuts.
anduina Posted August 19, 2018 Posted August 19, 2018 Change your swimming days and if she coincidentally shows up a few times in a row, you'll know she's stalking you. If she's stalking you, as soon as your lease is up, find another place to live.
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