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I thought online guy liked me but he ended up being a jerk and ghosted me?

sunflowerandclouds94

By sunflowerandclouds94
in Dating

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kendahke Established Member

kendahke

Posted
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that is above your league..

 

Wow! What speculation!!!

 

That's one hell of a judgment based on no actual information about who OP even is. You don't know what league she's in---she hasn't gone into detail about that.

 

Sure, she let looks cloud her judgment--but she's also said she's not going to see him anymore, so the whole rest of your judgment on her is non sequitur.

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Zippy2000 Established Member

Zippy2000

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Posted

Be cautious and take your time to get to know someone first. This person could have an STI. You don't know where hes been.

 

 

Try to date someone before any sexual antics. That means dating at least 3 times or more. Sex on a first date is possible but if you do take that risk. Beware of the risk if the other person will stick around or not.

 

 

Most men when they get sex on a plate. They had you and don't think your a challenge anymore so they move on to another and this brings me back to what I was saying. You don't know where he`s been before you.

 

 

Stay safe and if you want to date. Let romance take hold first before giving up "the goods".

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sunflowerandclouds94 Established Member

sunflowerandclouds94

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Ugh, what a clown.

 

Did you have unprotected sex with this guy?

 

NO and thank goodness. when I was having sex I felt uncomfortable and suspicious. That's why it wasn't good and I was very timid. He wanted me to be more aggressive.

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sunflowerandclouds94 Established Member

sunflowerandclouds94

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Posted (edited)
Its very clear what happened here.

 

You picked a very good looking guy that is above your league...hes the type of great looking guys that uses online dating for easy sex. {snip}

 

 

Hold on you made this completely about you.

You have no idea what my league is. Also, I didn't say he was absolutely stunning. I said he was my type. That doesn't mean he's everyone's type.... I like certain physical features that somes girls find weird.

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stillafool Established Member

stillafool

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Posted (edited)

 

- I told him I've only dated(relationship wise) one person and only had one sexual partner.

 

- We had oral sex and then he asked to see me again. I suggested go out to his side of town or go to his home. He said lets do both. We set up a second date and I ended up going to his home. We have full on sex but I clammed up and got uncomfortable.

 

-Usually I don't have sex so fast with someone. I usually wait a few dates and people leave because I don't put out so fast..

 

These statements contradict your early comment that you have only had sex with one guy that you were in a relationship with. He may have thought you were lying considering that you gave him oral sex right away, suggested going to his home and having full on sex. Plus the sex wasn't good for him so he didn't want a replay. It's just that your statement don't add up.

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sunflowerandclouds94 Established Member

sunflowerandclouds94

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Posted (edited)

 

These statements contradict your early comment that you have only had sex with one guy that you were in a relationship with. He may have thought you were lying considering that you gave him oral sex right away, suggested going to his home and having full on sex. Plus the sex wasn't good for him so he didn't want a replay. It's just that your statement don't add up.

 

 

Because I wanted to see if having it early would give me a different verdict. I hear from many girls that they have sex on the first date and that resulted in them getting the bf. He was very open with me so I in return wanted to be open as well. I don't think he knew I was lying which I wasnt because he stated that he definitely knows I'm inexperienced because of how timid I am and get verbally expressed he was frustrated with me even though I told him I'm inexperienced. I obviously found him attractive yes and I thought he liked me because he kept hugging me AFTER sexual encounter.like I said I'm an introvert. Idk how to date and I was excited someone my type possibly couldve thought I was attractive.

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MountainGirl111 Established Member

MountainGirl111

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Posted (edited)

 

Because I wanted to see if having it early would give me a different verdict. I hear from many girls that they have sex on the first date and that resulted in them getting the bf. He was very open with me so I in return wanted to be open as well. I don't think he knew I was lying which I wasnt because he stated that he definitely knows I'm inexperienced because of how timid I am and get verbally expressed he was frustrated with me even though I told him I'm inexperienced. I obviously found him attractive yes and I thought he liked me because he kept hugging me AFTER sexual encounter.like I said I'm an introvert. Idk how to date and I was excited someone my type possibly couldve thought I was attractive.

 

Perhaps after this experience you will re-think what your type is. What I mean by that is you will get the know the person first and he will get to know you treat you well. Maybe you will discover that your "type" is not just based on physical attributes. It's possible he thought you were attractive enough to have sex with, especially if you did it so easily and willingly.

 

So then: How to gain more experience. My advice: be very very picky. Get to know YOURSELF better and what you really want/need and never settle for anything less. Don't rush into anything. Is that boring? No, I don't think so. The primary relationship you should be worried about is the relationship with yourself.

 

Remember that YOU can call the shots. But before you do that you need to build self confidence and figure out what it is you really want.

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BC1980 Established Member

BC1980

Posted
Posted
Because I wanted to see if having it early would give me a different verdict. I hear from many girls that they have sex on the first date and that resulted in them getting the bf. He was very open with me so I in return wanted to be open as well. I don't think he knew I was lying which I wasnt because he stated that he definitely knows I'm inexperienced because of how timid I am and get verbally expressed he was frustrated with me even though I told him I'm inexperienced. I obviously found him attractive yes and I thought he liked me because he kept hugging me AFTER sexual encounter.like I said I'm an introvert. Idk how to date and I was excited someone my type possibly couldve thought I was attractive.

 

If you need to have sex with someone to get them to be your BF, that's not the person for you. Having sex with someone doesn't create emotional intimacy with that person, which is what I assume you want. You want an actual BF that loves you and treats you well. Having sex with someone on the second date does not communicate that you are serious about finding a real relationship, and it's made you feel terrible for good reason.

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Art_Critic Established Member

Art_Critic

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Posted

He isn't yours to fix, he used you for sex, treated you subpar.. who says derogatory things to someone you are trying to impress..

 

Move on from this guy, he is trouble and will zap you of your self esteem.

Exformer Established Member

Exformer

Posted
Posted
I hear from many girls that they have sex on the first date and that resulted in them getting the bf.

 

 

These girls give bad advice. That you were uncomfortable, to me that implies you moved too fast for you. Move at whatever pace you want to move. If the guy you want to date isn't cool with that, he's not a guy you want to date.

 

Not that this is always the case, but from my own experience...thinking back, I've never long term dated any girl I've ever hooked up with on day one, whether that's a first date or just meeting while out. Best case, I'd turned a couple into fwb relationships, or the girl just became someone I'm friendly to when I see her out, but I had no interest in pursuing anymore.

 

I'm struggling to think of any examples that don't fit this similar pattern among my friend groups as well.

So don't struggle over moving faster than you're ready.

Rocker71 Established Member

Rocker71

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Posted (edited)
He ended up texting back and saying he thinks I'm a lovely girl but didn't feel a connection. He thought it would be the different but it ended up being the same. I've heard this from an ex bf as well. :( Must be something wrong with me.

 

You know the scene in Amityville Horror where the priest is in the church and it starts to crumble and fall on him?

As the church is crumbling down on him, and the sculptures of jesus begin to cry blood ( or is that a different movie?) He stands there in the pulpit and screams

and I quote:

 

"Jeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeezzzuuuuuuuuuussssss Cah rrrrrr ighhhhhhhhhhhhhsssst!!"

 

Thats me right NOW.

 

It must be nice! It must be so nice to have a girl gush over him like you do. In fact you're gushing over him so badly you are actually asking yourself if there's something wrong with you.

 

He's got you just where he wants you. Right on the edge of yes and no, hoping you'll lean more towards yes at times. That's a skill I gotta learn.

Edited by Rocker71
Miss Clavel Established Member

Miss Clavel

Posted
Posted
NO and thank goodness. when I was having sex I felt uncomfortable and suspicious. That's why it wasn't good and I was very timid. He wanted me to be more aggressive.

 

because he's in to porn. heavily.

 

that's my guess and i'm sticking to it.

 

don't go in anyone's house alone. helllooo?

 

maybe he just wanted to get it in with a girl he's chancing could not possibley have an STD. and the odds are you don't. he knows that.

 

he more than likely is looking for someone that he doesn't have to use condoms with because he's cheap. i know that because after waiting for him to rest you paid for the meal and he and his dog turned in to what he is. sad lonely and poor.

 

he can't admit this, even to himself.

 

he needs a job. which would improve his dating chances, however, DUI is still a deal breaker.

 

you can do better. tell yourself that every day. 100 times a day. out loud.

 

because you can do better.

 

good luck

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