Weezerchic78 Posted August 14, 2018 Posted August 14, 2018 (edited) So I’m not sure if the no contact thing will even work with this guy. Here’s the deal He lives an hour away in the French quarter. I started talking to him on okc last year. I finally drove over to meet him since he lives in the quarter and doesn’t have a car. Everyone over there rides a bike or a lot of people anyways. We had been talking like 2 months before i finally met him. We hit it off immediately over the past 8 months i saw him monthly and a couple of Times a little closer together. Although we casually discussed we would let each other know if we were to meet anyone, he was not on okc for over month at a time sometimes. Well I was running out of PTO(paid time off) so i had to wait 6 weeks to see him for last time. So he started very actively getting back on oKC. Well obviously i was pretty upset. He said a month was long enough but waiting 6 weeks feels like jail. I was trying to be friendly. But i canceled my last day i had pto for to go see him. Over time he even got better texting me almost every day. We had gotten to know each other a lot. I was obviously crazy about him and he said he would miss me if we were to ever split. But yeah he didn’t hasn’t much at all to say when sent him some song lyrics to best express my feelings. His response was sorry, it was a pleasure knowing you. I told him sorry i just can’t just be his friend so technically i cut him off Basically he acts like he never wants a serious relationship bc he’s had his heart broken to many times blah blah blah. He says he’s a late bloomer and he wants to have more experiences. This guy is probably one of the most antisocial people I’ve ever met. Anyways I’m trying the no contact thing but idk should i even try to wait a month and contact him and ask him how he’s doing or should i bother. Do you think i meant anything to this a**hole? I treated him like a king. He put in no effort really. Idk why i even like him so much. My bff thinks I like the chase. Do you think he’ll ever miss me? or is he just a selfish jerk? Idk if this makes a difference but he usually gets drunk and sleeps all his weekends away. I think he’s depressed , and he’s an alcoholic. Edited August 14, 2018 by Weezerchic78 Forgot something
Zahara Posted August 14, 2018 Posted August 14, 2018 Yes, you should go no contact. Seems like you did all the work in terms of seeing him. In addition to his lack of interest and the fact that he’s a drunk and isn’t very motivated, it would best for you to set some standards and aim higher. Don’t treat men like kings when they’re giving you nothing in return or putting in any effort. We usually do that because we’re hoping for validation/approval. We’re hoping they’ll like/love us because we’re so giving and generous. Balance is key. His interest is lackluster. Time to move on. Stop chasing men that don’t see your value.
d0nnivain Posted August 15, 2018 Posted August 15, 2018 A lot of what you posted doesn't make sense to me. Why do you need to take a whole day off from work to make a round trip 2 hour drive to see somebody? Many people commute that long for work every day. It's not a whole day event. Do you work 7 days per week? If not, go on one of your regularly scheduled days off. Do they not have public transportation on Louisiana? Can't he take a bus or train to you once in a while? If he's not making the effort to contact you & he's actively looking for others to date, why do you insist on chasing him? What's in it for you? I think you were an easy minimal effort required distraction for this guy but you are far more invested in him then he has ever been in you. Stop wasting your time. A depressed, lazy alcoholic who sleeps away his weekends is no catch.
preraph Posted August 15, 2018 Posted August 15, 2018 You've done all the effort and he's done nothing and is just acting neutral about seeing you. He wants more experience. Not sure where that's coming from. It's a weird thing to say. If he wants experience, then seems like he'd want to see YOU. So something is up with this guy. Listen, he could be a drug addict or anything. They are hard to get moving. Maybe he just knows he's not in a position to properly date a women, moneywise and all that. Maybe he does't like that he has no car and you do all the driving. Men can get to feeling low about that type of thing and there's no reasoning with them. And why? Because if they were ready to properly date someone, they'd already be getting their game together, getting money and working and get a car if they need one (I get there's no place to park in N.O. though) and they just feel worthless if they can't "be the man." Anyway, there's no reason to worry about why. He's said he wants more experience. Maybe he just means he wants one-night stands with no further obligation. It's easy enough in N.O. and it's common enough for young men to want that. Just move on and don't have any regrets. Just don't look back.
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