Would you let her go even if she means the world to you?

[stupidbf35]

My friends are calling me martyr, stupid, idiot, douchebag and more because I can’t let go of the girl who made me realize I am worthy of being loved too. She cheated on me many times but I just can’t let her go. I know she’s been loving me this whole time. I was just away, that’s why she cheated. Am I wrong for still keeping her? I always believe that if you love someone, you shouldn’t let that someone go. I can’t afford seeing her with somebody else. I loved, love and will be loving her for sure. Is that wrong?

[d0nnivain]

It's wrong & kind of pathetic. My heart breaks for you that you can't let go & see how badly this chick is walking all over you.

 

You may love this girl but she doesn't love you. Now that you understand you are worthy of love wouldn't it be more fun to date a trustworthy person who doesn't cheat on you?

 

At the very least get an STD test & always use condoms. You can't trust her not to bring things home. If she says she is pregnant, assume it's the other guys' baby & get a paternity test.

[Mr. Lucky]

Am I wrong for still keeping her? I always believe that if you love someone, you shouldn’t let that someone go.

 

Is she chained to the bedpost? Locked in the basement? stupidbf35, you're learning the hard way you can't control someone else's actions, only your reaction.

 

And a rational reaction to a "many times" cheating GF would not be to keep her...

 

Mr. Lucky

[Imajerk17]

My friends are calling me martyr, stupid, idiot, douchebag and more because I can’t let go of the girl (i) who made me realize I am worthy of being loved too. (ii) She cheated on me many times but I just can’t let her go. I know she’s been loving me this whole time. I was just away, that’s why she cheated. Am I wrong for still keeping her? I always believe that if you love someone, you shouldn’t let that someone go. I can’t afford seeing her with somebody else. I loved, love and will be loving her for sure. Is that wrong?

 

 

 

 

OP, you realize that (i) and (ii) directly contradict each other, right? [unless what you meant by (i) is that her bad behaviour made you realize that, yes indeed, you deserve to be treated better than you were.]

 

 

To answer your question, this doesn't sound like a relationship, it sounds like self-mutilation.

[Malin889]

Would she mean everything to you if she didn’t cheat?! Why were you away?

[thefooloftheyear]

She already "let you go"....

 

TFY

[MountainGirl111]

My friends are calling me martyr, stupid, idiot, douchebag and more because I can’t let go of the girl who made me realize I am worthy of being loved too. She cheated on me many times but I just can’t let her go. I know she’s been loving me this whole time. I was just away, that’s why she cheated. Am I wrong for still keeping her? I always believe that if you love someone, you shouldn’t let that someone go. I can’t afford seeing her with somebody else. I loved, love and will be loving her for sure. Is that wrong?

 

I don't think you are stupid or wrong. If you love someone you love someone. It's unfortunate she cheated on you because that impacts the relationship. But if she cheated because you left her, I know you are taking that into consideration. I've always felt there is a reason people cheat. And, when someone cheats on you it definitely hurts, but if you see the reason it might help take away the sting. Some people can have sex with others, but that doesn't mean they love them. They're just having sex with them. Women especially don't understand that concept. Men tend to understand it better. I'm not justifying it at all, but I think some relationships can overcome cheating if they can somehow work it out and forgive one another and move on from it so that it isn't hanging over their heads all the time.

[anduina]

If cheating doesn't bug you, you can tell her that the relationship is now open and you can sleep with whomever you want too. If she freaks out, you'll know she's selfish and a hypocrite which might help to take away much of her shine since all that glitters isn't gold.

[Springsummer]

I can’t let go of the girl who made me realize I am worthy of being loved too.

 

These are the key words.

 

So, she is the only one who makes you feel worthy of love? how about yourself? really nobody else loves you? everyone else treat you like not worthy of love?

 

um.........everyone who love themselves and have healthy esteem will dump her.

 

so I guess the problem is you don't love yourself and have self-esteem, that's why you can't let her go. you afraid no one else will love you if you let her go and that is also why she is able to walk all over you. She uses your weakness/problems to make a fool of you. Does she love you really?

[Springsummer]

all that glitters isn't gold.

 

in other words, all that 'love' isn't real love.

[stupidbf35]

She already "let you go"....

 

TFY

 

I know but that just really heartbreaking.

[stupidbf35]

These are the key words.

 

So, she is the only one who makes you feel worthy of love? how about yourself? really nobody else loves you? everyone else treat you like not worthy of love?

 

um.........everyone who love themselves and have healthy esteem will dump her.

 

so I guess the problem is you don't love yourself and have self-esteem, that's why you can't let her go. you afraid no one else will love you if you let her go and that is also why she is able to walk all over you. She uses your weakness/problems to make a fool of you. Does she love you really?

 

You're right. I think I forgot to love myself the moment I love her. About her loving me? Well... I don't know but maybe. I knew she loves me but I don't know if she still does until now. Anyway, thank you for this!

[stupidbf35]

If cheating doesn't bug you, you can tell her that the relationship is now open and you can sleep with whomever you want too. If she freaks out, you'll know she's selfish and a hypocrite which might help to take away much of her shine since all that glitters isn't gold.

 

I'll try it. Thank you for the comment.

[bluerain87]

Honestly it is bad because you are putting someone else before yourself and that isn't healthy. Open marriages do not begin because someone was unfaithful, it is an agreement that people come to with everyone in agreement and their own set of rules. Your situation is beyond that. Your partner was unfaithful multiple times which shows a lack of regard for you and your feelings. Now I don't want to be mean but unless she has said otherwise I don't think she wants to be with you because she has cheated so many times. Maybe you should let go and move on because from what you described it seems unhealthy and like a codependent relationship.

[preraph]

Men may cheat just because someone is away, but no woman I know is like that if they care about someone. She may have liked you a lot, but it doesn't sound like she knows anything about love. People who understand love and have that capacity, the very last thing they'd ever want to do is hurt the one they love.

 

You need to face the reality that this woman was not who you hoped she was and still want to think she was.