Should I go file childsupport modification on court or settle with him?

[brokentopieces]

Hi, everybody, I am at crossroad.

 

Long story short. My ex cheated on me with a woman at work, broke up with me abandomed our infant boy and married that woman within 3 months. The breakup was very nasty and brutal, and I don't want to go back there.

 

After we broke, we had a settlement agreement to say he pay me $600/month for childsupport.

 

Now his wife is expecting. He has another daughter from a marriage before me. now he is going to have 3 kids from 3 women and of course I worried about the attention/support of my son. and his salary level is pretty high, and the attorney I consulted told me I could've granted by a judge over $1000/month.

 

 

I am trying to talk with him to get more money or he pays me for the kid's college, but he said after my son is over 18, legally he can do nothing (which is true).

 

So for my son's benefit, I am thinking of taking him to the court to get more money so my son get covered better. However he said if so, he will not see the kid any more (my kid is only 2).

 

So what should I do? ANybody being this kind of situation? Is more money better off or worse?

 

Please help me.

 

THanks

[LucreziaBorgia]

Which would better for your son's long term well being? Being well provided for, or being stuck with a father who has already abandoned him and is threatening to cut him out of his life because of money?

 

Seriously... take this clown to court. If his father doesn't want to provide for him and would rather abandon him completely rather than see that he is well provided for then he does not deserve the priviledge of having your son in his life anyway.

[brokentopieces]

He abandomed my son for 6 months (3 months dating that woman and another 3 after he got married). I have to talk to everybody related to get him visiting the boy. And he now started visiting him ( we have been broken up for a year and 4 months now). And my poor little boy is very clinnging to him, need a lot male attention and I am so worried about his mental scars this whole thing will cause him.

 

I hated every day he is my son's father. No responsibility, no royallty and no honesty.

 

I just feel worried, I don't want to hurt my son and his father's relationship.

 

But I know his father don't love him that much, because during the breakup, his action told me everything. He basically kissed that woman's ass, but did nothing for his son. He put another woman higher above his children.

 

 

It broke my heart everytime I heard my son talking about his dad. Poor Little boy wanted his father that much, but he never there for him.

[RainyDayWoman]

even if you "settle with him" it would be wise to have a lawyer finalize it.

 

good luck, this has to be tough. be strong.

 

[RecordProducer]

He is either bluffing or just using the situation to stop seeing his child. Moreover he can blame you for him not seeing the kid. He is a scum-bag. Money has nothing to do with attention and if he doesn't care about his son then money is more valuable than this kind of father.

 

In any case, I think you should ignore his statement and negotiate the child support with him. Let him know clearly that whatever he gives his son (money, time, love, etc.) is on his conscience forever. You can influence the financial aspect, but for the rest you're not in charge and it will not be your fault if the father doesn't care about his son.

 

Consult a lawyer before taking any step. Talk to him when you have all information.

[Trashman]

See your lawyer asap.

 

I'm about to go through nearly the same thing, only I'm the evil husband/father. In my situation however, the wife is going for the throat. She's been totally dependent on my for the last several years, mainly because she was too sorry to get a job despite my pleas, and she's going to try to bleed me dry for her own greed and need for revenge. Now we have a little infant and I'm not only going to pay full child support, but will plan for her college as well. My problems are between me and the wife, not my daughter. Anyway, some guys will step up when it comes to support and some won't. Don't feel bad about asking for everything your son has coming to him. He will need to be supported and the ex-husband needs to step up to the plate. He can step up on his own, or you can get your lawyer to do it, but it needs to happen.

 

No excuse for not taking care of the little ones- no excuse at all. Be strong and do what you have to do for your son's sake.

[Maria46]

I agree with RecordProducer about contacting an attorney before doing anything.

 

I also believe that you should push for more child support. If he is financially able to pay $1,000 per month then that is what you should get. You can put whatever you don't need at the time away for his college.

 

It also depends on what state you live in as far as supporting after college. Some states continue the support until the child is 21 when the child is college. The only difference being is that the money goes directly to the child and not the custodial parent.

 

If he is threatening you about not being in the child's life, then that tells you he isn't much of a father anyway.

 

He really needs to quit whining. It is not your fault or your child's fault that he decided to add another one.

 

Make sure you have an attorney draw up any papers!!!

 

Good luck

[Mz. Pixie]

Yes, get to the attorney and court now, before the other woman gives birth to the child. He should be paying!!

 

Take notes of what he's telling you and when to take to court, it will help you.

 

What a pig to threaten not to see his son if he has to pay more money.

 

You could always ask a older male relative to come and play with your son. Also a option would be to get some teenage guys from church or the neighborhood to spend some time with him. Many times you can hire one as a babysitter for a couple of hours and you could even stay there while they played. Just a thought.