What is with this person??

[RN2017]

I just don’t understand ... my friend/lover we hung out one weekend I had a good time. 2 days later he is like he feels used. I was like really. He said bc I didn’t call or text him. What does he want from me? If we are friend/lover why do I need call within 2 days ur not my man. Him seemed mAd about it. Then prior to this he was going to do some work on my cAr but didn’t follow through and called 2 days wanting to know if I was coming . I got mad and asked for

His associate number and I let him do the work.he was mad about that bc I think the guy kind of likes me. So fast forward after we meet up the last time I just mentioned of above a feed days later my car stops working. I ask him does he know anybody that does transmission work he ask what type of car and the year (which was my car) he said no ... Which was bold lie. So as days go by I sent him a quote saying “I didn’t lose a friend I neve had one” he said wow that one hurts..... so I sent a text asking him about a divorce lawyer. The next day I get a call we talk now he wants to know about my car and now he knows about transmission wants to look at it... what gives withh him??? Does he have feelings more than he is letting on... I felt away about him lying to me the first time. I felt like he was mad

Edited August 12, 2018 by RN2017
Title

[basil67]

You wrote about the transmission thing a month ago https://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/661673-i-am Preraph said back then that perhaps he feels used....it would appear that she was right on the money.

 

This work that he was going to do on your car - were you going to pay him for it? If not, I could understand him thinking that you only want him for sex and car repairs.

[RN2017]

I texted my guy friend the other day did he know a good divorce lawyer he responded back nope. Wish I did. So then I talked to him the next day talking to him about my situation and he said when I sent that to him. He thought I was f$$$ing with his head. How would you guys read this? I feel like he has feelings for me but just want admit them but if I got a divorce he would make his move

[Happy Lemming]

I'm a bit confused... You are married, unhappy in your marriage and are contemplating divorce?? And you're concerned if some guy may or may not want to date you if/when you are divorced??

 

I think you are putting the cart before the horse...

 

It sounds like the gentleman in question doesn't know how to respond to you. Many guys have deep ethical values and don't date married women.

 

Personally, I'd be more concerned about the downfall of your marriage, then who you could or couldn't date in the future.

[RN2017]

I sent a guy a quote and it said either move closer or stay away ... I asked him which one he was going to do. He asked me which one I wanted ... I was like what the f.... I asked you the question just answer it doesn’t matter what I want......he is killing me. Why he can’t answer such a simple question

[Liz Murry]

Hi. Mine just went on a job interview in another state. He has been going through some family stuff. For a week now he has been doing the "Well, what do YOU want". I hate that question..It is like we cannot connect. Or the good old.."If YOU want to..we can....."

[RN2017]

Yeah I think he is immature or a coward.... it wasn’t a trick question... then I sent him a long text and he still hasn’t replied

[mortensorchid]

I CAN tell you this about this situation ...

 

He's saying "I don't know what I want and I don't want to commit to you". He's really being very cowardly and immature to do so. But ... It's what it is.

[ExpatInItaly]

I sent a guy a quote and it said either move closer or stay away ... I asked him which one he was going to do. He asked me which one I wanted ... I was like what the f.... I asked you the question just answer it doesn’t matter what I want......he is killing me. Why he can’t answer such a simple question

 

What's the context here? Who is this guy - your boyfriend? An ex? Someone you've been causally dating?

[basil67]

You could have had a mature conversation, but you sent him a quote. Is this your version of communication?

[Desesperado]

Male perspective:

 

Two things. First, sending people a quote is lame. It reminds me of the type of girl that posts silly inspirational quotes and relationship memes on Facebook. It's just....ugh. I'd probably not react all that sincerely to a woman sending me a random quote. If you want a question answered, think for yourself and use your own words, not someone else's. Second, there is a very good chance that how you answer his question to you will help him answer the question you asked him.

 

Ahahah, so true ! On social media among other things, if I see many such motivational or dumb relationship memes and quotes, it's like kryptonite to me, usually it means they have no personality or can't think by themselves.

 

Like the infamous "if you can't handle me at my worst, then you don't deserve me at my best" the most entitled and moronic quote ever, I run away and don't engage with someone who likes it, no thanks.

 

That's just not communicating !

[Andy_K]

Second, there is a very good chance that how you answer his question to you will help him answer the question you asked him.

 

This is worth highlighting... there is a very good chance that if a guy is genuinely into you, he'll be perfectly happy to do anything from super casual to serious relationship. He doesn't want to pick one first though, because if it doesn't match what's in your head he gets none of them.

 

The other possibility is that he just doesn't want to commit but wants to avoid saying that outright. And again, if he knows what you want then he can find out the most acceptable way of phrasing that.

[kendahke]

I sent a guy a quote and it said either move closer or stay away ... I asked him which one he was going to do. He asked me which one I wanted ... I was like what the f.... I asked you the question just answer it doesn’t matter what I want......he is killing me. Why he can’t answer such a simple question

 

I think you need to own your voice and answer that question yourself. If you don't want to be jerked around by him, you need to end things and stay away.

 

It's really not hard to take responsibility and action for what you want.

 

But to answer the question of the thread: I don't think there's anything wrong with him. You sent him a passive aggressive post and he doesn't want to deal with the micro-aggression that meme implies. A CONVERSATION needs to take place, not texts and meme's from Facebook.

Edited August 20, 2018 by kendahke

[Desesperado]

I think you need to own your voice and answer that question yourself. If you don't want to be jerked around by him, you need to end things and stay away.

 

It's really not hard to take responsibility and action for what you want.

 

But to answer the question of the thread: I don't think there's anything wrong with him. You sent him a passive aggressive post and he doesn't want to deal with the micro-aggression that meme implies. A CONVERSATION needs to take place, not texts and meme's from Facebook.

 

It is passive aggressive and a bit lazy too, I mean would she like being sent a crappy meme/quote by a guy, I don't think so.

 

It's always the same thing, show the people the behaviours you yourself want to receive.

[smackie9]

I agree, just cut to the chase and tell him what you would like or what is on YOUR mind. Have an adult conversation over the phone or in person and stop with this silliness. have some confidence.

[SunnyWeather]

everything about the tone of the OP sounds demanding and entitled. and i bet you sent it as a text? that would be a major turnoff if someone tried that with me

[Orokotikki]

Well you are married right? Maybe he is letting you decide whether you want to destroy your marriage rather than him attacking it outright.

 

Or if this is a guy you cheated with maybe he is starting to grow a conscience.

[Orokotikki]

Is this guy single? Doesn't sound like it.

 

If you are hoping if you get divorced then he will, well I would not bet on it.

Is this FWB you mention in other threads?

 

You should just get divorced, if you are having a hard time of it tell the whole truth to your husband and it will likely become easier to do so.

 

And if you get divorced but he doesn't?

Well maybe then you should look to form a relationship with a single man.

 

My wife's AP never had any intention of getting divorced, though he dangled it out there a few times. When I said I was telling his wife, he clammed up with my WW and ended it ASAP.

 

He encouraged her vehemently to get divorced however.

 

I hope you grow as a person. Be well.

[Orokotikki]

Also you seem to be starting a lot of threads about this same person (least I hope it is the same person).

 

Also if either/both of you are married and you are leaving that out, then you are just fishing for answers/validation that you like and omitting powerful key dynamics that would give more accurate perspective.

 

I am so done with your threads.

[stillafool]

OP, could you proofread your opening statements on your threads. There seems to be words missing which makes them hard to understand what you are trying to say.

[stillafool]

I texted my guy friend the other day did he know a good divorce lawyer he responded back nope. Wish I did. So then I talked to him the next day talking to him about my situation and he said when I sent that to him. He thought I was f$$$ing with his head. How would you guys read this? I feel like he has feelings for me but just want admit them but if I got a divorce he would make his move

 

Why would he know a good divorce lawyer? That is not how you go about finding one. He probably thought you were silly. Sorry.

[stillafool]

I agree, just cut to the chase and tell him what you would like or what is on YOUR mind. Have an adult conversation over the phone or in person and stop with this silliness. have some confidence.

 

^^THIS^^^is how a grown woman handles her business. What you sent him sounded a bit silly.

[basil67]

I would read exactly what he said: He thought you were messing with his head. If you need more understanding, ask him.

[anika99]

I read it that he thinks you're messing with his head which you are. Do you know a good divorce lawyer? Is that the new pick up line these days? If some guy said that to me I'd be disgusted. First it would remind that he is MARRIED and secondly it would tell me that he is too immature to take seriously.

 

I have read your other threads. Most of them are on the dating board and are about this guy or maybe multiple guys, meanwhile you are married with a child. You need to grow up and handle the problems in your marriage like an adult. That means you either fix your marriage or end it. What you are doing now comes across as desperate and needy. It makes you look like you don't want to take responsibility for your life, instead you want to monkey branch from one man to the next. Most guys would find that unattractive.

[BaileyB]

I would think, this woman is cray-cray and I would avoid you with a ten foot pole!