Albz98 Posted August 12, 2018 Posted August 12, 2018 Hey, it's my first time posting here, so I'm still new to LS. Also, English is my second language so sorry in advances for the Typos. First of all, I am 19 years old and am a French Canadian. So I dated this girl I new back in college. At first, we were only helping each other for physics class. Long story short, I started dating her at the end of the semester. She was the first love of my life. We dated for exactly one month before she broke up with me because she didn't want to be in a relationship and needed more time to think about what she really wants. I was sad but not broken, I truly loved her. This happened during the summer so I didn't see her at all during the summer. Fast forward until the start of Fall semester, we met again because we had the same group of friends and were still friends. I asked her if she took the time to think about us and she said that she don't see us together and that we should just be friends. I was really sad and kind of heartbroken but it wasn't really a heartbreak since we only date for one month. During the whole semester, I tried to get her back but nothing to do she really didn't want to date me no matter what I say or do. But one day, a guy ask her number and she gave it to him. I was so mad and sad because I guess I was jelly. I start avoiding her since I just can't seem being love and love someone else. I start ditching her as much as possible. If she would of come to our table where usually all our friends would be, I would immediately leave to go at the library and if she come to the library, I would immediately leave to come back at our friends table. I did that for a whole week. Doing so, she realize that she can't imagine a life without me and we talked and we started dating again. After, we both finished college, we both applied of university but we will be attending different universities. So during the semester, we only see each other once a week and during mid-terms and finals we would not see each for 2 or 3 weeks. It was kind of a problem because for her seeing each other was really important but for me school was more important than our relationship. But don't get me wrong, I loved her to the death and had plans to found a happy family with her. Also, I also have the bad tendencies of making stupid jokes like " I will **** other girls" and "Look at that pretty girl". Also making dumb comments like "You should go to the gym", "Wear cloths like the others girls". I guess you can say I am a dick. But someone who knew would say that I was never serious about it and that I was not very abusive about it. She would say to me that those things were destroying her self-esteem, I would of apologize and try to not do it again. Fast forward, this summer I suggest her to go study English in Toronto as part of a program called Explore since English was not our first language. I would of do the same but at Regina 2000 km apart from Toronto. She would of gone 1 month and would of gone the month after, so we would see each other for like 2 months. She went to Toronto first, made lot of friends and had lots of fun. She met a guy friend that was really nice to her and stuff and stuff. The thing is that program doesn't reflect real life. All the students see each other everyday. So it's very easy to catch feelings for others. She starts catching feeling for him... Then came my turn to go to Regina, we were still together at that moment. A week in she called me and said to me that she want a break and wasn't sure anymore about our relationship and that she needs to think about it. I accepted that break. But after one week I could bear the limbo anymore and asked her for an fast answer. Fast for her was like the next day... She called me said to me that we should break up because she wasn't happy with me anymore and that we weren't seeing each other enough and that my stupid comments and jokes was destroying her self-esteem and that her journey in Toronto made her realize that she wasn't happy with me. At first, I wasn't sad, I was just shocked, that took me completely of guard. I called the next day to beg and pleaded her back, that I would change and that we would see each other more often since she switch university to be in mine. It didn't work out she say that we would see that when we go back home and that we shouldn't contact each other until I'm back. I accepted but 1 week in that "NC" I could bear it anymore and I called her. She was in the middle of date with the new guy she met in Toronto... I felt so weird and ended the conversation asap. I called the next day, to try and to beg and pleaded her back but nothing to do she had already lost feelings for me was seeing that someone else. She said that I had no more chance of getting her back like the first time. We were dating for 19 months. I was so devastated, I was so sad and couldn't sleep at night. I was waking up at 3 am to cry and couldn't go back to sleep. During the day, I would cry randomly because I missed her so much. I couldn't wait to go home and go see her and begged her back. I felt so betrayed and easily replaceable. I knew that this heartbreak was nothing like the first one. It was way worst. During my plane back home, I spend the whole flight writing her a letter in hope that she would come back after reading it. As soon, I rushed at her placed to talk to her. She wasn't there. So I decide to rush at her work. She was there but was in the middle of a meeting. She could talk with me for only 30 minutes just to tell me that it's really over that she's with someone else and she happy with him. I mean she only knew him for 2 months, how could she knew. And the guys was going to live abroad for a whole year. They wouldn't see each other at all. However, she said that he was making more effort that me to see her and that she was willing to take that risk. She couldn't talk to me longer and that she need to go back to her meeting. That we can see each other next week to talk about it. After that, I left in tears. I texted her to know when we can see each other so that we can talk about it. But I also mention that I wouldn't want to meet her if I have legitimately 0 chances of coming back with her. She answered to me that I had really 0 chances. So we only text over Facebook. I was trying to convince her the whole conversation. I would something even called her monster that she played my feelings since weeks prior our break up she asked me if I want to be engaged with her which I decline because it was too fast more since I'm only 19. I also said that she diss me by already dating someone before I had the chance to come back home to talk. Then, I told her to call me when she's finish (she was working that day). She called me and said that this would be her last call. I try really really hard to beg her back, I cried on the phone just like the time when we broke up on the phone. She was really cold with me and told me that it was really over between us than she hung up. Since then, I went full NC with her, I deleted her from every social media. She did the same for me and also my friends that she had on her social media. I didn't delete her sister and her mom from my Facebook doe. I tried my best to move on by starting to read books and going more often to the gym. It helped me a lot even tho I am still thinking about her all the time. I still have hope that she will come back but don't really count on it since I also want to move on. I know that we will see each other next semester since we will be at the same university. It's been 3 weeks since the NC and I don't know how I am going to react when I see her in real life. In my head, I am sure that her relationship with the other won't last since the guy is going to live abroad for a whole year. Also, I feel like the best way to get her back or to move is to make her regret dumping me. So I would like to know what should I do to make her regret leaving me? Should I completely ignored her? Should I fake being happy without her? Thanks for the replies!!
Marc878 Posted August 12, 2018 Posted August 12, 2018 You have a lot to learn. If you cry, beg and plead they always move farther away from you. Quit disrespecting yourself. It just lowers your status even more. It's not the end of the world. So quit acting like a high school boy. You need to grow up and mature some. Keep her blocked on everything and stay dark. Time will fix the rest
preraph Posted August 12, 2018 Posted August 12, 2018 Sorry you're having such a hard time. The truth is her heart really wasn't in it from the beginning. She never was all that into being with you. I'm glad you got some time with her, but it was kind of inevitable because she always said she didn't feel that way, so you had to know she'd be looking. Anyway, you are still young and can find a new girlfriend when you're ready, so don't worry. BUT those things you made a habit of saying were cruel and you DID mean them on some level because they came out of your mouth. First they were a thought in your brain and then you said it. You thought it and then you said it, and that means you meant it but hoped to get away with saying it but not get in too much trouble over it. It is abusive to tell women things like that and to go to the gym, and you better not ever do it again because a mature woman will not stay with you if you do. No one likes someone who says mean crap like that. So learn your lesson and stop it! And good luck in the future. She's not likely to come back and if she does, it will probably only be as a friend since that's all she really wanted from the beginning.
Author Albz98 Posted August 12, 2018 Author Posted August 12, 2018 I understand what you are trying to say to me and I'm not proud of the things that I've done and I swore to myself to not do those things ever again. And if she come back, I don't to be friends with her, I just can't see being love and loving someone else. Also a problem that we had is that I wasn't showing her any love in public because I am shy and only keeps those things in private.
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