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If you're giving sex to a guy you're not 100% about...why do it?

Larry56

By Larry56
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Larry56 Established Member

Larry56

Posted
Posted (edited)

[]

 

Hi everyone,

 

I'm interested in knowing the answer to this question.

 

If you're giving sex to a guy you're not 100% about...why do it?

 

Around the start of the year I was fooling around with a girl who was one year younger than me. We are both avid smokers of the green (if you know what I mean :)).

 

In the beginning everything was a bit casual, not too serious (and I really don't push things). We'd just smoke and have hot wild sex. She would text me once a day or once every two days, she would initiate it about 50% of the time. So it felt OK at the time

 

Then the communicationg started dropping a bit when I mentioned a date...I can't be 100% sure but I honestly didn't push her at all I just mentioned going and seeing a movie out - that is it...but she just had a blank look on her face..anyhoo

 

She also did mention to me (although I could be wrong) she had a thing for darker skin guys (I'm white) and at some point she mentioned she was still on a dating app - which I remembered as being a bit of a yellow flag.

 

Now hey! I'm not toooo stressed, the situation didn't make me resent her or anything since she was giving it up to me...I do make the sex pretty good for women (I know how to make them feel hot). However, why would you sleep with a guy you're not 100% interested in.

 

Maybe I was a rebound?

 

Just a bit confused about this but not too worried :).

Edited by a LoveShack.org Moderator
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Larry56 Established Member

Larry56

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Also...

 

I also noticed that when she started to drop off a bit...she would really only want to come over if she could buy some. Another obvious yellow flag. :)

 

Thanks alot.

LivingWaterPlease Established Member

LivingWaterPlease

Posted
Posted (edited)
<snip>

Now hey! I'm not toooo stressed, the situation didn't make me resent her or anything since she was giving it up to me...I do make the sex pretty good for women (I know how to make them feel hot). However, why would you sleep with a guy you're not 100% interested in.

 

Maybe I was a rebound?

 

Just a bit confused about this but not too worried :).

 

Do you think the bolded may be the answer to your question?

Edited by a LoveShack.org Moderator
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Larry56 Established Member

Larry56

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Do you think the bolded may be the answer to your question?

 

So you think women can get hooked on sex with a guy who is cute but not their type?

 

Thanks for your answer

Noproblem Established Member

Noproblem

Posted
Posted

Some women have sex buddies that they only use them for sex.

 

 

But, I know one thing for sure here

 

If you ignore her and become cold toward her, she will chase you!

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Larry56 Established Member

Larry56

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I didn't chase the girl cause her replies and actions were quite obvious - but interesting comment. I notice that only works with girls who were already into you.

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Larry56 Established Member

Larry56

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Some women have sex buddies that they only use them for sex.

 

But, I know one thing for sure here

 

If you ignore her and become cold toward her, she will chase you!

 

Thanks for your answer. I'm just reflecting on it now. I don't chase women. Period. That's just not my style. Although I don't believe it works unless the woman is already crazy about you. But I'm glad it works for you.

 

I will admit I'm an average guy, I dress pretty well and thankfully blessed with a decent face - which I'm grateful for in this life.

kamani Established Member

kamani

Posted
Posted

In the beginning everything was a bit casual, not too serious (and I really don't push things). We'd just smoke and have hot wild sex. .

 

We need more information. What was your initial arrangement? Was it only to have sex casually and was it discussed?

 

Or nothing was discussed and you were just having sex?

guest569 Established Member

guest569

Posted
Posted (edited)

I don't "give sex" to a guy, or "give it up" for him. This woman seems the same. Meet a hot guy who seems nice enough. You did say it started out very casual. Even if she is looking for more, you can't be sure about someone 100% in the beginning, maybe she decided you're not right for her.

 

I think this is why you're so confused. You have this idea that sex is for men, and women just appear and 'give in' and if they're lucky someone like you will 'make the sex good for her too'. Last part is reality unfortunately, but yeah! Women like sex and want sex!

Edited by smiley1
Lorenza Established Member

Lorenza

Posted
Posted

Now hey! I'm not toooo stressed, the situation didn't make me resent her or anything since she was giving it up to me...I do make the sex pretty good for women (I know how to make them feel hot). However, why would you sleep with a guy you're not 100% interested in.

 

Why would YOU sleep with a girl you're not too interested in? Women aren't some other species, they want sex just for the sake of having sex sometimes too. They're not GIVING you sex and you're not taking it. It's a mutual act where both participate. Just as you can sleep with a girl you're not 100% into, so can she.

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coolheadal Established Member

coolheadal

Posted
Posted
(that title is supposed to be Please help me answer this)

 

Hi everyone,

 

I'm interested in knowing the answer to this question.

 

If you're giving sex to a guy you're not 100% about...why do it?

 

Around the start of the year I was fooling around with a girl who was one year younger than me. We are both avid smokers of the green (if you know what I mean :)).

 

In the beginning everything was a bit casual, not too serious (and I really don't push things). We'd just smoke and have hot wild sex. She would text me once a day or once every two days, she would initiate it about 50% of the time. So it felt OK at the time

 

Then the communicationg started dropping a bit when I mentioned a date...I can't be 100% sure but I honestly didn't push her at all I just mentioned going and seeing a movie out - that is it...but she just had a blank look on her face..anyhoo

 

She also did mention to me (although I could be wrong) she had a thing for darker skin guys (I'm white) and at some point she mentioned she was still on a dating app - which I remembered as being a bit of a yellow flag.

 

Now hey! I'm not toooo stressed, the situation didn't make me resent her or anything since she was giving it up to me...I do make the sex pretty good for women (I know how to make them feel hot). However, why would you sleep with a guy you're not 100% interested in.

 

Maybe I was a rebound?

 

Just a bit confused about this but not too worried :).

 

My friend you have to listen to the woman she told you already she wasn't into you. Her fetish is dark skin men and your being white she not into you at all sexually you don't pop her bubble as they say. What in the world would you want to have sex with a woman that not into you

d0nnivain Established Member

d0nnivain

Posted
Posted

She had sex with you because she enjoyed the physical release. She was never interested in a relationship. She wanted a smoke & hot sex . . period. You caught feelings & she's bailing. There is no mystery here.

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ExpatInItaly Established Member

ExpatInItaly

Posted
Posted

This may come as a surprise to you OP, but some of us ladies just really enjoy sex with an enthusiastic partner. It doesn't always mean we're making an emotional sacrifice (or attachment) by having sex with a guy.

 

Like many men, plenty of women can enjoy the act without wanting a committed relationship out of it.

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CautiouslyOptimistic Established Member

CautiouslyOptimistic

Posted
Posted

I would guess it's for the same reasons men do it.

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Doost Established Member

Doost

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Maybe she is not into you despite or because of the sex

smackie9 Established Member

smackie9

Posted
Posted

I agree she had sex to have sex because she simply enjoyed it...BUT I have a news flash for ya: being good in bed doesn't always buy you a ticket to a relationship. Women need more than that, they need good chemistry, and you didn't do that for her. Oh well such as life. I'm sure your ego maybe a little butt hurt over it, but it has happened to most of us. Rejection sucks.

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Larry56 Established Member

Larry56

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We need more information. What was your initial arrangement? Was it only to have sex casually and was it discussed?

Or nothing was discussed and you were just having sex?

 

Ahh OK. Let me explain the initial situation better.

 

We didn't start out with an arrangement to be casual/FWB. We just met because of our love of the green..I suppose it was a date but it was in my place so...anyways. We never discussed a relationship or anything. She just came over one day and while she seemed timid at first towards me (kinda neutral) she relaxed and then we got it on. I know she enjoyed it because I would dirty talk her (properly) on the phone many more times after that and she kept coming back for more. After about 4 or 5 weeks of this I mentioned doing something else other than hanging out at my place and while she didn't dismiss it completely she never really seemed interested in it. All good. I let her go. She did message me a few weeks/months later on/off about picking up some G but I didn't really engage her much because I know a disappearing act when I see one.

 

 

She had sex with you because she enjoyed the physical release. She was never interested in a relationship. She wanted a smoke & hot sex . . period. You caught feelings & she's bailing. There is no mystery here.

 

I didn't catch feelings or display anything to her that I really really liked her. I never explained my feelings to her so it wasn't because she could sense I liked her. It was more just down to her not liking me altogether. Again...I'm not confused to that reason. I'm confused on why would a woman give a guy sex they are not 100% about.

 

OK. If you're confused about why I think this way, let me try explain the way my male-brain works. Again, I'm just explaining how I think about this. If you think it's narrow-minded, I understand but it's how I think.

 

I believe women really only have three states of thinking when they meet a guy.

 

1) He's so hot and he's perfect, love at first sight, etc etc.

2) He's nice, maybe I would date him but I don't get super tingly feelings around him at this moment (this eventually develops into stronger feelings).

3) I don't like him.

 

I've been out with hundreds of girls and they all have subscribed to each of these three categories perfectly, give or take a few odd ones here and there.

 

This may come as a surprise to you OP, but some of us ladies just really enjoy sex with an enthusiastic partner. It doesn't always mean we're making an emotional sacrifice (or attachment) by having sex with a guy.

 

OK. Fair enough, but kinda strange to give a guy sex for a few weeks for physical release, that seems to be more in the one-night stand scenario. Again, she was telling me about her life/struggles etc, talking about her parents and how she was going through a hard time, she would call me once everyday/every second day for the first month. Now when I'm thinking about all this I understand maybe I was just being an emotional pillow for her in that short amount of time. Giving her energy to get through life at that time, maybe

 

I was just blindsided by her initial interest. That's all.

kamani Established Member

kamani

Posted
Posted

It sounds to me that you are interested in dating her but you don't admit it to yourself.

 

I can't speak on behalf of all other women but IMO there are 2 scenarios possible.

 

1. She likes you sexually, but is not interested in a long term relationship with you. She may or may not have feelings for you and doesn't want to take it far.

 

2. She may be romantically interested in you. But mostly women get hurt in these arrangements, so she is protecting herself by keeping you at arms length as she doesn't know what your intentions are.

 

Why don't you talk to her?

guest569 Established Member

guest569

Posted
Posted

Again, we don't "give sex" to a guy.

Lorenza Established Member

Lorenza

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Posted

OK. Fair enough, but kinda strange to give a guy sex

 

Women DO NOT give sex. They have sex. You are BOTH getting when you have sex together. It's 2018, time to skip the outdated thinking.

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Larry56 Established Member

Larry56

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Why don't you talk to her?

 

I haven't spoken to her in 2 months and don't plan to. Too late for that I'm thinking. I'm already dealing with other women.

 

Again, we don't "give sex" to a guy.

 

Oh sorry ladies.

Next time a girl goes down on me I'll be sure to correct her when she says "I'm gonna give you a bj" to

"uh uh, its called 'having a blowjob'"

 

Also come on. You know you only do sexual things for guys you're interested in. Stop pretending that you treat all guys the same.

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guest569 Established Member

guest569

Posted
Posted
Women DO NOT give sex. They have sex. You are BOTH getting when you have sex together. It's 2018, time to skip the outdated thinking.

 

OP, hello, see the above for elaboration since you don't get it.

 

Also come on. You know you only do sexual things for guys you're interested in. Stop pretending that you treat all guys the same.

 

We 'have sex' with men that we want to have sex with. What are you talking about 'interested in'.

Lorenza Established Member

Lorenza

Posted
Posted
I haven't spoken to her in 2 months and don't plan to. Too late for that I'm thinking. I'm already dealing with other women.

 

 

 

Oh sorry ladies.

Next time a girl goes down on me I'll be sure to correct her when she says "I'm gonna give you a bj" to

"uh uh, its called 'having a blowjob'"

 

Also come on. You know you only do sexual things for guys you're interested in. Stop pretending that you treat all guys the same.

 

You didn't say giving a blowjob. You said giving sex. And yes, it's calling having sex.

Interested in, yes. Interest can have a different life length for each guy. With some it only lasts for a limited amount of time. Just like in your case.

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Larry56 Established Member

Larry56

Posted
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We 'have sex' with men that we want to have sex with. What are you talking about 'interested in'.

 

Are you saying women are out in the world sleeping with guys they don't like?

 

Sounds strange.

ExpatInItaly Established Member

ExpatInItaly

Posted
Posted
I haven't spoken to her in 2 months and don't plan to. Too late for that I'm thinking. I'm already dealing with other women.

 

Oh sorry ladies.

Next time a girl goes down on me I'll be sure to correct her when she says "I'm gonna give you a bj" to

"uh uh, its called 'having a blowjob'"

 

Also come on. You know you only do sexual things for guys you're interested in. Stop pretending that you treat all guys the same.

 

Why did you ask the women here for advice if you apparently have us all figured out?

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