Andre_1609 Posted August 9, 2018 Posted August 9, 2018 2 weeks ago, a guy that was my first kiss in high school found me on Facebook and started talking to me, just a normal talk We only shared our memories about our high school time. Now he wants to see me but I don't know if he just wants to be friends, i see in Facebook that he has a girlfriend. He wants to go for a coffee and he told me "but this time we won't kiss in the first date" I think he was just joking because our first kiss was disastrous. I don't want to disrespect his girlfriend or anything.
ExpatInItaly Posted August 9, 2018 Posted August 9, 2018 (edited) 2 weeks ago, a guy that was my first kiss in high school found me on Facebook and started talking to me, just a normal talk We only shared our memories about our high school time. Now he wants to see me but I don't know if he just wants to be friends, i see in Facebook that he has a girlfriend. He wants to go for a coffee and he told me "but this time we won't kiss in the first date" I think he was just joking because our first kiss was disastrous. I don't want to disrespect his girlfriend or anything. Just ask him if his girlfriend will be joining you. You'll learn pretty quickly what his intentions are. Edited August 9, 2018 by ExpatInItaly
ppc Posted August 9, 2018 Posted August 9, 2018 I know that everybody has different opinion about cheating, but in my eyes he cheated on his girlfriend. Would you trust a guy, who kissed and took somebody on a date while he had a girlfriend?
d0nnivain Posted August 9, 2018 Posted August 9, 2018 Agree to meet him if you like & tell him you are looking forward to getting to know his GF. Right now I'm willing to give him the benefit of the doubt that he just wants a trip down memory lane but by you mentioning the GF you can ferret out his true intent. I have met up with old friends from HS & college but my invite always included the spouse. I wanted it absolutely clear that all was above board. 1
sdraw108 Posted August 10, 2018 Posted August 10, 2018 I know that everybody has different opinion about cheating, but in my eyes he cheated on his girlfriend. Would you trust a guy, who kissed and took somebody on a date while he had a girlfriend? I think you misread that. The kiss happened in high school, not while he had a girlfriend.
Normm Posted August 10, 2018 Posted August 10, 2018 No. I wish all questions were this easy to answer. 2
coolheadal Posted August 10, 2018 Posted August 10, 2018 2 weeks ago, a guy that was my first kiss in high school found me on Facebook and started talking to me, just a normal talk We only shared our memories about our high school time. Now he wants to see me but I don't know if he just wants to be friends, i see in Facebook that he has a girlfriend. He wants to go for a coffee and he told me "but this time we won't kiss in the first date" I think he was just joking because our first kiss was disastrous. I don't want to disrespect his girlfriend or anything. You are just strangers now. You can hangout as friends only if you want to go with him as a friend. If you want more then you become GF #2 I am sure he's has several GF #? He's a player, so if that's what you want to be GF #? then you can do if you want too. GF #1 will always be his No. 1 GF. Your position will not be his No. 1. Can't date him because he's player not a real BF type. He likes to have many girls at his beck and call. If I was you move on find a real BF that only want to be your No. 1!
kendahke Posted August 10, 2018 Posted August 10, 2018 2 weeks ago, a guy that was my first kiss in high school found me on Facebook and started talking to me, just a normal talk We only shared our memories about our high school time. Now he wants to see me but I don't know if he just wants to be friends, i see in Facebook that he has a girlfriend. He wants to go for a coffee and he told me "but this time we won't kiss in the first date" I think he was just joking because our first kiss was disastrous. I don't want to disrespect his girlfriend or anything. If that is true, then don't meet up with him and block him on your phone and social media. If you were his girlfriend, what would you want us to tell the girl who wants your boyfriend to meet her for coffee and them trying to see if they can get that kiss right?
stillafool Posted August 10, 2018 Posted August 10, 2018 2 weeks ago, a guy that was my first kiss in high school found me on Facebook and started talking to me, just a normal talk We only shared our memories about our high school time. Now he wants to see me but I don't know if he just wants to be friends, i see in Facebook that he has a girlfriend. He wants to go for a coffee and he told me "but this time we won't kiss in the first date" I think he was just joking because our first kiss was disastrous. I don't want to disrespect his girlfriend or anything.[/QUOTE] If you don't want to disrespect his girlfriend tell your former classmate that you are looking forward to meeting his gf when you guys go for coffee. That should let him know that you have no intentions to help him cheat. 1
smackie9 Posted August 11, 2018 Posted August 11, 2018 He hasn't been a part of your life for years, so why the interest in meeting for coffee when he can simply catch up on FB. Don't meet up if it doesn't feel right to you. Even if his intentions are innocent, it's still not appropriate.
Elpida. Posted August 11, 2018 Posted August 11, 2018 I guess it depends. I think you will suss out pretty quickly what his intentions are. It may be innocent though (although the kissing joke was a bit questionable). I moved away from my hometown for work and was recently back again. I randomly had reconnected with an old colleague over social media (he had a gf) and I suggested we grabbed a coffee (platonic). We grabbed a coffee, had a laugh, reminisced and said goodbye. We still chat here and there on social media and when I visit again I'm having dinner with him and his girlfriend. Your guy doesn't necessarily have sinister intentions.
thefooloftheyear Posted August 12, 2018 Posted August 12, 2018 (edited) The other posters gave you the moral high ground answers.....Here is the reality... I can't tell you how many women consciously make attempts to "steal" other women's guys.....Happens every day and I am sure there are many happy long term relationships that started this way...Facebook is notorious for this...Happened to a friend of mine..Some woman from his distant past looked him up...A year later he was out of his marriage and with her.. I get it....Technically he's cheating on his current gf if he is showing interest in you...But no one knows what the real scenario is...Perhaps he's not happy in his situation...Yeah, sure...I know....Then he should leave her before he starts looking around.. I'm not here to tell you what's fair or right....In this game, nothing really is "fair" anyway, and don't be surprised if the same thing happens to you someday...It's Dreamworld to think that everyone follows rules in this ...It's your call, really...Maybe he's your ship that came in...who knows..? There is a saying..."The most desirable man in the room is the one that's taken"....I didn't invent that saying, that's for sure...While I think guys do this as well with other guys women, its far more rare...There seems to be more of a "bro code" among guys when it comes to that...whereas women don't really honor other women as much in this area.... Just my 02....I'm not disagreeing with the other posters, just another perspective.. EDT...After a reread of the OP, its clear that he is seeking you out while in a relationship, not the other way around.....Could be nothing, but I doubt it.. TFY Edited August 12, 2018 by thefooloftheyear 1
snowboy91 Posted August 13, 2018 Posted August 13, 2018 At this point you're not sure about what his intentions are - it's likely he just wants to be friends. It's definitely worth seeing him to work that out. The comment about "kissing on the first date" is a bit of a red flag to me so I'd be cautious. The question you need to ask yourself is: what do you want from this? Do you want a friendship or to get back with him? If he has a girlfriend it's worth making sure she's included in some things you do so she knows the nature of your friendship.
Recommended Posts