Gretchen12 Posted August 9, 2018 Posted August 9, 2018 Two people met online and hit it off, both removed dating profiles, although there has not been an explicit exclusivity talk. When planning to see each other, if one person is not available Saturday night, does that mean anything? Would you assume that person is multidating?
basil67 Posted August 9, 2018 Posted August 9, 2018 You could assume they are multidating. You could also assume they are going out with their mates. You could also assume that they are working the Saturday night shift. Without more context, it could mean anything. If you've been together for a number of dates, I don't see anything wrong with saying "yes, we can do a different night - what have you got on for Saturday?" If the answer is vague, then you know he's hiding something.
Andy_K Posted August 9, 2018 Posted August 9, 2018 No, I wouldn't. Saturday night is 'prime time', if someone has weekend plans that's when they're likely to fall. It could easily be plans with friends (or family). The only slight niggle is that if someone is really into you, they'll often be at pains to point out specifically that they're *not* going on a date by telling you what they are doing that night, whether it's a meal with friends or a comedy club, games night, or whatever else. But since you've both removed dating profiles I wouldn't worry about that too much. Could just mean that person values their privacy a bit and feels it's too soon to give you a blow by blow of their activities. 1
d0nnivain Posted August 9, 2018 Posted August 9, 2018 You can't go wrong with OLD assuming everyone is multi-dating until the 2 of you have discussion about not doing that. It doesn't mean they are. It just means you are guarding your own heart Saturday night is a popular night for all sorts of social activities, not just dates. You can't draw any meaningful conclusions from that info alone. However, it is an indication that the person has an active life filled with friends & events, possibly other dates. Don't put all your eggs in this basket after a few chats through a website or even 1-2 dates. Keep your own options open. Even if you are not the multi-dating type, do not assume that the person you met through OLD is only dating you. Adjust your expectations accordingly. 1
Gaeta Posted August 9, 2018 Posted August 9, 2018 Two people met online and hit it off, both removed dating profiles, although there has not been an explicit exclusivity talk. When planning to see each other, if one person is not available Saturday night, does that mean anything? Would you assume that person is multidating? If they removed their dating profile I would guess they have established they are exclusive? No, not being available on Saturday night once in a while means nothing during early dating. It just means this person has friends, hobbies, family. When I was single my agenda was full for 6 months ahead with dinner with friends, family gathering, vacations, birthdays, etc.
Author Gretchen12 Posted August 9, 2018 Author Posted August 9, 2018 This goes to also what AndyK was saying, should the person say something about why he or she is unavailable? And if no explanation is offered, should the other person ask? This is two people who are supposedly building a serious relationship.
Kamille Posted August 9, 2018 Posted August 9, 2018 How long have these two people been dating? If it's been less than a month and as they are not exclusive (as per first post), then I wouldn't advise asking. They might be out with friends or they might be multi-dating. And, right now, either one of those activities are fine. What I would focus on is limiting anxiety. Make your own plans for Saturday night, hit the gym, have fun. Stay lighthearted.
alphamale Posted August 9, 2018 Posted August 9, 2018 Two people met online and hit it off, both removed dating profiles, although there has not been an explicit exclusivity talk. When planning to see each other, if one person is not available Saturday night, does that mean anything? Would you assume that person is multidating? no it does not mean anything, they may have a wedding to go to
Author Gretchen12 Posted August 9, 2018 Author Posted August 9, 2018 no it does not mean anything, they may have a wedding to go to If you had a wedding to go to, would you say "I can't make it Saturday, I've a wedding to go to." Or would you just say "I'm busy Saturday."
d0nnivain Posted August 9, 2018 Posted August 9, 2018 If you had a wedding to go to, would you say "I can't make it Saturday, I've a wedding to go to." Or would you just say "I'm busy Saturday." I would not necessarily specify what my plans were to somebody I just met off OLD. Unless you have been in my life for a long time it's really none of your business what I'm doing when I'm not with you.
Gaeta Posted August 9, 2018 Posted August 9, 2018 This goes to also what AndyK was saying, should the person say something about why he or she is unavailable? And if no explanation is offered, should the other person ask? This is two people who are supposedly building a serious relationship. Serious relationships don't go from 0 to 100 over night. There is still a need to slowly progress and go through the dating phases step by step. Are they exclusive? if yes since when? Being exclusive doesn't mean you have to spend your every moment together and you owe an explanation for the moments you aren't together. You get your 2 or 3 dates a week and then you continue with your life, hobbies, friends and family. At the beginning of our dating BF and I didn't have all of our Saturday together. He'd tell me he's busy that night and I simply made other plans. When I saw him next he often told me what he had done with his Saturday out of his own will, I would never ask. Months went by, we got closer, spent more time together and by the 6th or 7th month I'd say were more beholden toward each other. . 1
Kamille Posted August 9, 2018 Posted August 9, 2018 Are they exclusive? if yes since when? . They're not exclusive. This is the first post: Two people met online and hit it off, both removed dating profiles, although there has not been an explicit exclusivity talk. When planning to see each other, if one person is not available Saturday night, does that mean anything? Would you assume that person is multidating? 1
coolheadal Posted August 9, 2018 Posted August 9, 2018 Two people met online and hit it off, both removed dating profiles, although there has not been an explicit exclusivity talk. When planning to see each other, if one person is not available Saturday night, does that mean anything? Would you assume that person is multidating? A lot of people work the weekends today. What was the excuse use to tell you they weren't available Saturday night? Did you even bother to ask that question?
smackie9 Posted August 10, 2018 Posted August 10, 2018 If they give you a reason like, me and the _____ are going to a pool tournament, or hitting the pub for a ____ night out. Then it's reasonable. But if they just say "Oh I'm busy that night, let's make it another time" you are not on the priority list. 2
Author Gretchen12 Posted August 10, 2018 Author Posted August 10, 2018 If they give you a reason like, me and the _____ are going to a pool tournament, or hitting the pub for a ____ night out. Then it's reasonable. But if they just say "Oh I'm busy that night, let's make it another time" you are not on the priority list. Thanks, so if someone is a priority to you, then you should make a point of mentioning why you can't make it? That's what I was wondering about.
Author Gretchen12 Posted August 10, 2018 Author Posted August 10, 2018 A lot of people work the weekends today. What was the excuse use to tell you they weren't available Saturday night? Did you even bother to ask that question? Yes but the work schedule is known. This is 3 months into dating. No questions were asked.
smackie9 Posted August 10, 2018 Posted August 10, 2018 Thanks, so if someone is a priority to you, then you should make a point of mentioning why you can't make it? That's what I was wondering about. Well ya doesn't that make sense to? Tip: If it doesn't feel right, then it's not. Your expectations are not being met by this point, the what is the point?
Malin889 Posted August 10, 2018 Posted August 10, 2018 How did he say he couldn't make Sat night? Did you bring it up? Did he say he was busy?
coolheadal Posted August 10, 2018 Posted August 10, 2018 Yes but the work schedule is known. This is 3 months into dating. No questions were asked. If work schedule is know already does it cover Saturday evenings and nights? Yes or No. Start and get to the end point. If the work schedule includes Saturday Nights then there is no need to ask questions, if not then you need to ask questions. 3 months and no questions?
Gaeta Posted August 10, 2018 Posted August 10, 2018 Thanks, so if someone is a priority to you, then you should make a point of mentioning why you can't make it? That's what I was wondering about. But if they are not exclusive none should be a priority at this point right? If they are not exclusive and they are not official gf/bf then they owe no explanation to each other.
Gaeta Posted August 10, 2018 Posted August 10, 2018 Yes but the work schedule is known. This is 3 months into dating. No questions were asked. Three months into dating??? I thought it had been a couple of weeks! have they met each other's friends and family? Why has she left 3 months go by without clarifying their situation? Women have to stop waiting on men and take matters into their own hands! 1
smackie9 Posted August 10, 2018 Posted August 10, 2018 Hey exclusive or not, what's wrong with telling them what's going on or what you are doing just out of courtesy? Isn't that's just good manners? I never saw the point of wasting my time on someone I wasn't that interested in, so what is up with these people? This slow fade, flaking, or waffling, etc is so childish. OP go by this rule: date those who treat you the way you want to be treated. If you feel you are not a priority, end it.
Author Gretchen12 Posted August 10, 2018 Author Posted August 10, 2018 Hey exclusive or not, what's wrong with telling them what's going on or what you are doing just out of courtesy? Isn't that's just good manners? I never saw the point of wasting my time on someone I wasn't that interested in, so what is up with these people? This slow fade, flaking, or waffling, etc is so childish. OP go by this rule: date those who treat you the way you want to be treated. If you feel you are not a priority, end it. Thanks Smackie. Thanks to all who replied. We met 3 months ago and I haven't been available for any of the Saturdays he's asked for. I'd offer Friday or Sunday and he has never asked what I was doing on those Saturdys. I'm not hiding anything. I just didn't think it was a big deal until a friend told me that Saturday night is a "thing" when you're dating. I'll let him know why I can't make it tomorrow.
d0nnivain Posted August 11, 2018 Posted August 11, 2018 Saturday night was the traditional date night. If after 3 months of dating you have never been available on a Saturday night yes the guy probably assumes that you have 2nd BF who ranks higher because he gets the coveted Saturday night. I mean seriously you have blown the guy off 12 times. You are lucky he's still around. The fact that he hasn't asked when you are doing with those Saturday nights he's not getting shows he has some boundaries & does want to invade your privacy. So what, exactly are you doing on Saturdays?
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