Loveydovey101 Posted August 8, 2018 Posted August 8, 2018 So I chatted with this guy on Tinder for a couple days, just harmless banter here and there. We decided we wanted to go on a date so we met for dinner and a movie. Dinner went well, then we walked around the mall and talked some more. We both seemed interested in each other. Then during the movie our hands touched and we locked hands. Throughout the movie he would place his head on my shoulder, rub my arm, little affectionate things. At the end of the movie I walked him to his car, we had a kiss. Then he offered to drive me to my car and he did. We hugged and kissed again then said bye. He texted me saying he got home, I replied with “I’m heading to bed, thanks again for a great night” and he said “of course! Goodnight” his texting personality is verryyyyy dry. Now it’s complicated because for heterosexuals it’s always the man texts to make plans for a second date. However I don’t know if I’m supposed to be the one being pursued, or if he’s sitting there waiting for my to pursue him. I’m just lost! I don’t wanna be desperate if he really just was not into me for whatever reason, but I also hate the thought of us both sitting here waiting for the other. I overthink a lot and I’m not good at what comes after the dates.
basil67 Posted August 8, 2018 Posted August 8, 2018 If you felt that the overall vibe was positive, I see no issue with you asking him out on the next date. Reaching out to someone who's company you enjoy isn't desperate. Desperate is chasing them when you know they have no interest 2
Loveydovey101 Posted August 9, 2018 Posted August 9, 2018 I’m going to Vegas for a weekend, so should I propose another date now? Or should I wait till I’m back. I hear all the time about the 3 day rule.
basil67 Posted August 9, 2018 Posted August 9, 2018 I’m going to Vegas for a weekend, so should I propose another date now? Or should I wait till I’m back. I hear all the time about the 3 day rule. How about shooting him a message saying that you'll be away for the weekend but would love to catch up when you return? If he replies positively, make a date when you get back. 1
Loveydovey101 Posted August 9, 2018 Posted August 9, 2018 How about shooting him a message saying that you'll be away for the weekend but would love to catch up when you return? If he replies positively, make a date when you get back. That sounds so adult. I feel like dating is so much different for someone who is 19 versus a full fledged adult.
passenger1991 Posted August 9, 2018 Posted August 9, 2018 Definitely drop a text saying you had a great time and want to do it again! Nothing desperate about that. Desperation is getting no response and sending message after message. Maybe he's feeling exactly the same as you. Break the silence, you could be missing out on something great if you're both sat there unsure wether to get in touch.
Loveydovey101 Posted August 9, 2018 Posted August 9, 2018 Definitely drop a text saying you had a great time and want to do it again! Nothing desperate about that. Desperation is getting no response and sending message after message. Maybe he's feeling exactly the same as you. Break the silence, you could be missing out on something great if you're both sat there unsure wether to get in touch. You’re right. I just texted saying “hey I’m going to Vegas, but did you want to go out again when I get back?”. If this boy doesn’t respond I will be genuinely stumped on how to tell if a date is into you or not. Gosh dating is frustrating.
Lotsgoingon Posted August 9, 2018 Posted August 9, 2018 This is the funniest exchange I've read in a while ... and really honest. Let's start with Basil's great suggestion: How about shooting him a message saying that you'll be away for the weekend but would love to catch up when you return? If he replies positively, make a date when you get back. Now the OP's response: That sounds so adult. I feel like dating is so much different for someone who is 19 versus a full fledged adult. Classic! Thisievan, hate to break the news, but you at 19 are a full fledged adult, and ironically dating is basically the same no matter what age you are ... People of all ages have to make clear their intentions and read others' intentions and reactions ... figure out how to communicate interest without sounding desperate ... and communicate interest in a timely way. This is going to be what you're facing the rest of the way through. Welcome to full fledged adult life!
d0nnivain Posted August 9, 2018 Posted August 9, 2018 The 3 day rule is an old fashioned notion from a Book called The Rules. At ground it was about teaching women to have some self esteem & not stoop to every man who looked at them but to have some dignity by not being too available. Everything is faster these days so as long as you don't feel like the date ask is always a last minute thing because to the person asking you you are only an after thought, the 3 day rule is meaningless. If you want a 2nd date, ask for one. Do work around your travel schedule. Since it's Vegas if you can squeeze in something before you go, it may help to reassure your new person that it won't be a weekend of debauchery. Even though you & him aren't exclusive Vegas' reputation will put ideas & jealousies in his head. I'd bring home a little trinket (< $5) just to show you were thinking of him & possibly reach out once. 1
smackie9 Posted August 10, 2018 Posted August 10, 2018 Ugh that head on the shoulder thing is like a limp handshake. This guy doesn't have a lot of confidence, so I hope you are up for the challenge.
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