losangelena Posted August 9, 2018 Posted August 9, 2018 Hmmm on the second date he did tell me he is looking to start a family soon as that is what's missing in his life. He was asking questions about my past relationships, what my goals are etc. So honestly I think he is looking for a real relationship but I'm just trying to feel if I have chemistry with him because that's kinda holding me back. Would I go out with him again? Yes sure to check my feelings. Yeah, but there's a difference between him saying he wants to start a family, and him saying he wants to start a family WITH YOU. So he could very well be looking for something serious, but that doesn't default mean you just because you've gone out twice.
d0nnivain Posted August 9, 2018 Posted August 9, 2018 He already left yesterday on the trip. We were out on Tuesday he left Wednesday. Today I texted him a thank you as others have suggested I should do. Now put your phone away & sit on your hands. I doubt he will call or contact you until gets back.
Author Britney25 Posted August 9, 2018 Author Posted August 9, 2018 Yeah, but there's a difference between him saying he wants to start a family, and him saying he wants to start a family WITH YOU. So he could very well be looking for something serious, but that doesn't default mean you just because you've gone out twice. Obviously I know that lol it would freak me out if that would be me when we barely know each other. I did sent him a thank you text. If he responds cool if not whatever. 2
morrowrd Posted August 9, 2018 Posted August 9, 2018 I'm old fashioned, and when I was dating I went at the girls pace. I have a saying "there's a difference between wanting something, and wanting someone." Men are the chasers, and to "get the girl" you have to be sensitive to her boundaries, which sometimes are pretty solid. The first few dates should be information gathering events, alot of talking, maybe some fun activities, see if there's attraction and chemistry. Hell, I still think hand holding is a big deal, it's romantic...and if there's chemistry, it will feel good, just like a kiss. Also, I disagree with the "grandmother kiss" comment, you can have romantic kiss on the lips without shoving a tongue down the girls throat. Touching the back of her head, caressing her hair, pushing your lips against hers, hold it there for a few seconds, and break away and look into her eyes. I guarantee you won't kiss your mom that way. 1
Author Britney25 Posted August 9, 2018 Author Posted August 9, 2018 I'm old fashioned, and when I was dating I went at the girls pace. I have a saying "there's a difference between wanting something, and wanting someone." Men are the chasers, and to "get the girl" you have to be sensitive to her boundaries, which sometimes are pretty solid. The first few dates should be information gathering events, alot of talking, maybe some fun activities, see if there's attraction and chemistry. Hell, I still think hand holding is a big deal, it's romantic...and if there's chemistry, it will feel good, just like a kiss. Also, I disagree with the "grandmother kiss" comment, you can have romantic kiss on the lips without shoving a tongue down the girls throat. Touching the back of her head, caressing her hair, pushing your lips against hers, hold it there for a few seconds, and break away and look into her eyes. I guarantee you won't kiss your mom that way. So was he too eager shoving his tongue , too horny? Very attracted or wanted to see my reaction?
preraph Posted August 9, 2018 Posted August 9, 2018 Look, if you don't enjoy french kissing him, then you probably have no reason to keep dating him. French kissing on the first date isn't out of line if things have gone well. Second date, nothing wrong at all. But I mean, if you are not enjoying the kissing, then you probably just aren't into him and may as well stop wasting your time. Kissing is harmless fun. 2
morrowrd Posted August 9, 2018 Posted August 9, 2018 So was he too eager shoving his tongue , too horny? Very attracted or wanted to see my reaction? I would guess possibly immature, to cut the young guy a break. The thing to do if you're uncomfortable is to smile, and ask him to slow down. Then, teach him, by YOU kissing him the way you'd like. If he is impatient, then he's after one thing. A man who wants you, not just sex, will respect you and your boundaries. 1
Author Britney25 Posted August 9, 2018 Author Posted August 9, 2018 I would guess possibly immature, to cut the young guy a break. The thing to do if you're uncomfortable is to smile, and ask him to slow down. Then, teach him, by YOU kissing him the way you'd like. If he is impatient, then he's after one thing. A man who wants you, not just sex, will respect you and your boundaries. He is 38 and I'm 25
Author Britney25 Posted August 9, 2018 Author Posted August 9, 2018 Look, if you don't enjoy french kissing him, then you probably have no reason to keep dating him. French kissing on the first date isn't out of line if things have gone well. Second date, nothing wrong at all. But I mean, if you are not enjoying the kissing, then you probably just aren't into him and may as well stop wasting your time. Kissing is harmless fun. I didnt say I didnt enjoy kissing him just the french kissing caught me off guard as I move a bit slower.
normal person Posted August 9, 2018 Posted August 9, 2018 Everyone's got a different pace/expectations. One time on a first date, we kissed at the end. It was in public and maybe even on a subway if I remember correctly, so I didn't want to make a spectacle. I texted her later saying I had a nice time, she texted me back "I had a nice time too, but don't you kiss with tongue???" She was worried, almost offended. As a guy you have proceed with enough pace for her to maintain interest, but not so much that she becomes uncomfortable. The problem is that standard varies person to person, so men have to test the boundaries along the way, leading to situations like these.
Author Britney25 Posted August 9, 2018 Author Posted August 9, 2018 Everyone's got a different pace/expectations. One time on a first date, we kissed at the end. It was in public and maybe even on a subway if I remember correctly, so I didn't want to make a spectacle. I texted her later saying I had a nice time, she texted me back "I had a nice time too, but don't you kiss with tongue???" She was worried, almost offended. As a guy you have proceed with enough pace for her to maintain interest, but not so much that she becomes uncomfortable. The problem is that standard varies person to person, so men have to test the boundaries along the way, leading to situations like these. I get what you're saying
Author Britney25 Posted August 10, 2018 Author Posted August 10, 2018 I'm kinda freaking out a but because I texted the thank you today and it's been like almost 6 hrs and I didnt get a response from him yet and usually he is pretty quick.
alphamale Posted August 10, 2018 Posted August 10, 2018 I'm kinda freaking out a but because I texted the thank you today and it's been like almost 6 hrs and I didnt get a response from him yet and usually he is pretty quick. yea something funky is going on
Author Britney25 Posted August 10, 2018 Author Posted August 10, 2018 yea something funky is going on So is he losing interest ?
alphamale Posted August 10, 2018 Posted August 10, 2018 So is he losing interest ? I don't know it's hard to tell now, the next 24 hours will be key
Author Britney25 Posted August 10, 2018 Author Posted August 10, 2018 yea something funky is going on But it was a text on WhatsApp. I see he hasnt even opened the message yet
Author Britney25 Posted August 10, 2018 Author Posted August 10, 2018 I don't know it's hard to tell now, the next 24 hours will be key True..I will give it time. If by tomorrow nothing...I got my answer.
Author Britney25 Posted August 10, 2018 Author Posted August 10, 2018 But honestly if he doesnt get back to me today...that's not respectful at all..especially when I texted that thank you 6hrs ago.
Author Britney25 Posted August 10, 2018 Author Posted August 10, 2018 My thoughts on what you've written here Britney25... Your first kiss from him was with tongue? Way too forward in my opinion. No thanks. More to the real issue though - It is important for you to acknowledge your feelings on such things - they are quite valid. The best reaction would have been to pull back and tell him you like kissing without tongue. (Eventually, when you're ready to go there in the future, he'll follow along as soon as you want I am sure). I would feel he is more interested in sex than interested in you as a person, yes. In my view his first kiss is either asking you if you want him to be that (kissing only) close to you, or it is testing to see if you are ready to go to 2nd or 3rd base. Tongue on first kiss to me says he is pushy for sex, not that he really liked the conversation you had and he wants to get to know you better. You did well suggesting a next date during the first date. Also though, yes, you must be direct - if you enjoyed the second date, tell him directly in words or text that you enjoyed it. During or after every date. For ever. This is not initiating, this is thanking him for a nice time. It's called courtesy. This is not you setting up a date and inviting him out. Do you see the difference? You ask if guys are this stupid that you need to tell them you enjoyed spending time with them so they'll ask you out again. I know it seems terribly obvious inside your head that if you didn't leave the date early and in a huff that you want him to ask you out again, but actually, outside of your head where this guy has to operate, it is not at all clear. What you describe is called 'mind reading', and is the great bane of men in dating. Please use words in both cases If you don't want tongue in your kisses right now, say it - out loud and clearly. If you enjoyed your date, say it - out loud (or in text) and clearly. Please don't get annoyed that he doesn't read your mind. It is your responsibility to tell him clearly what you want and don't want, and to do what you want to do, and don't do what you don't want to do. It is your life after all So I texted him a thank you for the date but it's been 6hrs and no response yet. Usually he was pretty quick to reply It was sent on WhatsApp since he is in Brazil. He didnt read the massage yet. So I'm wondering if he is ignoring me all of a sudden.
Sunlight72 Posted August 10, 2018 Posted August 10, 2018 So I texted him a thank you for the date but it's been 6hrs and no response yet. Usually he was pretty quick to reply It was sent on WhatsApp since he is in Brazil. He didnt read the massage yet. So I'm wondering if he is ignoring me all of a sudden.You are now waaaay over doing it. Just stop. You two have met twice, had a nice time. He told you he is on a work trip in another country. Let him be there. You are here. You be here. Before you met him, you had people and movement to fill your day - for now I recommend strongly that you go back to your life. You can't read anything from him not replying (in my opinion). Just let it be. You have done what you can, and now you will just have to live the other parts of your life, and what will be will be. You were a whole person before you met him - just breathe, and remember yourself as a whole person. You are OK. Best Wishes, Sunlight 4
d0nnivain Posted August 10, 2018 Posted August 10, 2018 I'm kinda freaking out a but because I texted the thank you today and it's been like almost 6 hrs and I didnt get a response from him yet and usually he is pretty quick. He is out of the country on a freakin' business trip. He's busy & doesn't have a lot of free time. He probably has sales calls, meetings etc. plus he may want to see some of the locale. He's not thinking about the girl back home he went on 2 dates with who bristled when he French kissed her. You can't fairly gage interest when someone is out of their routine. When he gets back see what he does but for now, draw no conclusions. Again, I do suspect that you two are incompatible. You fretting that he hasn't gotten back to you in 6 hours is yet another example of why you are more high maintenance then he wants to deal with. 3
Author Britney25 Posted August 10, 2018 Author Posted August 10, 2018 He is out of the country on a freakin' business trip. He's busy & doesn't have a lot of free time. He probably has sales calls, meetings etc. plus he may want to see some of the locale. He's not thinking about the girl back home he went on 2 dates with who bristled when he French kissed her. You can't fairly gage interest when someone is out of their routine. When he gets back see what he does but for now, draw no conclusions. Again, I do suspect that you two are incompatible. You fretting that he hasn't gotten back to you in 6 hours is yet another example of why you are more high maintenance then he wants to deal with. Ok yes you are right.
Author Britney25 Posted August 10, 2018 Author Posted August 10, 2018 You are now waaaay over doing it. Just stop. You two have met twice, had a nice time. He told you he is on a work trip in another country. Let him be there. You are here. You be here. Before you met him, you had people and movement to fill your day - for now I recommend strongly that you go back to your life. You can't read anything from him not replying (in my opinion). Just let it be. You have done what you can, and now you will just have to live the other parts of your life, and what will be will be. You were a whole person before you met him - just breathe, and remember yourself as a whole person. You are OK. Best Wishes, Sunlight You're right just that I'm used to him replying to me at least within an hour. I dont know. Ok let's see what happens .
alphamale Posted August 10, 2018 Posted August 10, 2018 You're right just that I'm used to him replying to me at least within an hour. I dont know. Ok let's see what happens . yes, let's see...
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted August 10, 2018 Posted August 10, 2018 You're right just that I'm used to him replying to me at least within an hour. I dont know. Ok let's see what happens . How did you two meet?
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