Jtizzle Posted September 4, 2005 Posted September 4, 2005 Ok, so ive been in a long distance relationship with this guy for about a month or so..he's one of those guys who doesnt remember anything..well selective things he remembers..he remembers stuff like if i give head, how many sexual partners ive had,etc..but cant remember the simplest things like my bday, my middle name, what city i live in:eek: .. its like every other convo we have im always telling him the same things..but now when he asks me sumthing personal im like why, you dont care, and you not gonna remember it. Now is it me or do other ladies lthink like this, its important especially if your in a LDR to remember certain things..in my eyes it defeats the purpose of getting to know each other if your not gonna remember it. if you have to keep telling a guy constantly the same things and he forgets them or mixes them up with other ladies information, does that mean he just doesnt care?
LucreziaBorgia Posted September 4, 2005 Posted September 4, 2005 Sounds like it could be that he remembers those things which he chooses to remember: those things that directly affect and benefit him, and not those things which benefit or affect you. Speaking from my own experience, selective memory like that pretty much mirrors how much (and how little) I genuinely care for the other person. Have you addressed this directly with him? If you did, what was his response?
Outcast Posted September 4, 2005 Posted September 4, 2005 Some very common disorders are associated with terrible memory. ADD comes to mind. I knew someone with it once who couldn't remember his own mother's birthday.
RecordProducer Posted September 5, 2005 Posted September 5, 2005 My BF forgets some things, a few times I was even worried about his health. E.g. he forgot that I told him I had sexual experiences with a few women. I thought no one could forget anything like that. But it's not a big deal for him, I guess, and since then he hasn't fogotten it. He used to forget some minor things, but he does care, and we've been together for a year. I guess some people have a problem with remembering things, especially those related to names and numbers. I don't think it's his fault, but it probably has to do with how important they are to him. It doesn't mean he doesn't care about you though. It's too soon to tell anyway, you've been together for only a month. Don't give him a hard time about this. If it becomes too weird, ask him to go to the doctor just to remove the suspicion of some cerebral disease.
kgal Posted September 6, 2005 Posted September 6, 2005 YES! I believe it is important to remember stuff like birthdays, the color of one's eyes.. the first time you said "I love You" ... it's so important to not be forgetful of those things. I usually remember what interests me... and I've forgotten some "small" stuff along the way.. but it's the important things that matter. Try educating him about ginko biloba. Maybe he just has a bad memory?
NY-gal Posted September 8, 2005 Posted September 8, 2005 My boyfriend of 10 months remembers absolutely EVERYTHING i have ever told him about myself, even the tiniest insignificant things like the name of the elf i had tattooed on my arm 8 years before i knew him! Yet - he cannot EVER remember which toothbrush is his when he stays at my house, and he stays over a couple times a week!
megabit15 Posted September 10, 2005 Posted September 10, 2005 I started seeing LDR guy in 11/05. Did not have sex with him cause I wanted to take it slow and see that real caring was there. Anyway, by 1/06 I was fed up with me repeating myself. I said "I'm quite sure I've told you this several times before. Do you remember anything I tell you?" But I began to pull away and not listen to his "blah blah blah" about himself as much until he started taking much more interest in me. And he did very shortly thereafter. Other problems since then, other resolutions, but we're still dating.
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