rework Posted August 8, 2018 Posted August 8, 2018 I’ll do my best to make a decade’s long story as short as possible. I live in Idaho and I’m currently 26, on my way to be 27 years old. The girl that this post is about is almost 2 weeks younger than I am. She was when I first laid eyes on her, mysterious, softly spoken, smooth and paled, nerdy, and due to her Latina background, to this day, has the nicest backside I’ve ever seen ( I was mooned by her by accident, still an awesome memory). We first met in high school. She was the new kid. She was really shy near me, and would turn beat red when I would ask her to have lunch with me. She was a real sweet heart when we were friends. I got to know a little more about her: she’s an artist that used to model when she was a preteen. Despite coming from a Red State (Texas), her family was very progressive, she has a transgendered sister and an overly protective younger brother. Her siblings seemed very nice. I asked her out on a real date, and she told me that it would have to be postponed because her family and a family friend visiting, were going to Yellowstone (her brother who I had an anatomy class with was absent that Friday thus confirming her story). When she came back, she was much more confident and decided that she wanted to skip the dating and become officially a couple, that at the time she never had a boyfriend, but chose me to be her first. I never dated either at the time and being as awkward as I was, I panicked, said no, and stormed out to recollect my thoughts. She began to avoid me, and little to my knowledge, began to spread nasty rumors about me, such as me supposedly stalking her. I eventually went to another high school that opened up to stay with my closest friends and didn’t see her for a year and a half until college. The Spring and Summer before college, I was thinking about her and wanted to get back in touch. I should have realized something was wrong because my first attempt, I was immediately blocked by her on MySpace. I had an idea to apologize to her by making a fake MySpace account and asking her to meet me at our local Barnes and Noble (both of us were comics/manga readers) and buy her an apology gift. Well my creepy friend at the time talked me into messaging her himself on my fake account because he genuinely believed he had the moves and thus could hook me up with her. It didn’t work. Well I saw her again the first semester of college and we talked to catch up. I thought all was well and that maybe I shouldn’t apologize but was later contacted online and she vented.. she told me how she really felt, that she felt played, and was severely hurt by it and wanted to move on, and that any more communication she’ll press charges. I wanted to apologize in person to cut off all ties, but she was humiliated and left crying. To my dismay she lied that I was going to hurt her to our college security. I came up with a BS story to the Dean of Students and luckily convinced him to not get my a** kicked off campus and got a no contact order against her. During that time, I began reaching out to people who knew both of us, because I started to lose a ton of friends. Those who didn't block me, confessed that yes she was telling a lot of people that I was quote on quote stalking her. My world started to fall apart and for a while I was unable to date anyone, and due to a lot stress, I began to underperform at school, and began to hit depression. I started to sleep around with some of the nastiest girls out there that I regret so much today (druggies, alcoholics, loose women, women with facial hair etc). Despite me having no more contact with her, she gave me bad looks constantly. She began dating one of my friends and gossiped to him and I lost him as a friend. Year after year, I kept ignoring her, but she would not let up, to the point that over the span of 8 years now, I lost over 50 friends. I started to feel horrible about myself and never quite developed healthy relationships. My current girlfriend has been a total sweet heart despite me making horrible mistakes in our relationship, and hurting her and dumping her numerous times. It was basically until last year that the other girl started to leave me alone. She was now married, and since I’ve let myself go (I went from 160lbs to 210lbs) she was no longer interested in what I did. I really want to put this dark past behind me 100%. I am tired of feeling I am not good enough, that I’m not attractive, and that I’ve attracted pretty much trash throughout my young adult life. I’ve had it. I do not want to believe that I missed out with such a horrible monster such as this girl. Yet the experience she has given me throughout the near 10 years of knowing her has me wishing I could go back in time to date her so I didn’t have to go through this huge mess. What’s even more messed up is despite her no longer caring what I do, her family and friends still give me horrible looks and speak ill of me. Late last year I’ve decided to take some free counseling. This year I’ve decided to make a fake Facebook account and purposely find awkward angle shots of this girl where she looks bad in hopes to move on. I’m also trying to rebuild what I had with my girlfriend in hopes that I can become better and so can she. If anyone has more advice to give that’ll be great. I’m wanting to get over this 10 year nightmare.
normal person Posted August 8, 2018 Posted August 8, 2018 What’s even more messed up is despite her no longer caring what I do, her family and friends still give me horrible looks and speak ill of me. If she doesn't care what you do, what does this matter? I could understand if she was still calling you a stalker, and in which case I'd talk to the school administration and/or a lawyer, but I'm assuming at your age, you're out of school. Is it affecting your job or your personal life in any significant way other than "dirty looks?" If not, I'd just let it go. No sense adding more fuel to the fire at this point. This year I’ve decided to make a fake Facebook account and purposely find awkward angle shots of this girl where she looks bad in hopes to move on. You're 27 years old and making fake Facebook profiles. Maybe don't do that? It's a bit juvenile. Just move on to someone else or you're going to waste your best years on this stuff. I’m also trying to rebuild what I had with my girlfriend in hopes that I can become better and so can she. Please don't. You said you wanted to go out a few times before being "a couple," and she accused you of "playing" and "stalking her?" She sounds all sorts of crazy. This is not normal behavior. Cut your losses and move onto someone sensible, because she isn't. If anyone has more advice to give that’ll be great. I’m wanting to get over this 10 year nightmare. Find someone else and forget about her.
Author rework Posted August 8, 2018 Author Posted August 8, 2018 If she doesn't care what you do, what does this matter? I could understand if she was still calling you a stalker, and in which case I'd talk to the school administration and/or a lawyer, but I'm assuming at your age, you're out of school. Is it affecting your job or your personal life in any significant way other than "dirty looks?" If not, I'd just let it go. No sense adding more fuel to the fire at this point. You're 27 years old and making fake Facebook profiles. Maybe don't do that? It's a bit juvenile. Just move on to someone else or you're going to waste your best years on this stuff. Please don't. You said you wanted to go out a few times before being "a couple," and she accused you of "playing" and "stalking her?" She sounds all sorts of crazy. This is not normal behavior. Cut your losses and move onto someone sensible, because she isn't. Find someone else and forget about her. I think there's some misunderstandings, my girlfriend is not this a**hole. She's someone else that has stood by me, helped me etc. The jerk that I want to move on from is the one who is now married and is indifferent now that the damage has been done and that I'm overweight etc. As for the Facebook thing, if you saw her, you would say she was really hot, but we all take bad pictures at times so what I did was save those pictures where she looks awkward/bad/ugly so I can associate her bad character wit these pictures and hopefully move on and realize that she isn't worth it and I dodged a bullet.
DontBreakEven Posted August 9, 2018 Posted August 9, 2018 As for the Facebook thing, if you saw her, you would say she was really hot, but we all take bad pictures at times so what I did was save those pictures where she looks awkward/bad/ugly so I can associate her bad character wit these pictures and hopefully move on and realize that she isn't worth it and I dodged a bullet. Ummm ... wut? So you need to make a Facebook account, why exactly?
FMW Posted August 9, 2018 Posted August 9, 2018 You're obsessed with this woman. At any one of a 100 points along the way you should have just put her behind you and moved on to bigger and better things. You've held on to her and let your life fall apart. The fake Facebook account with unflattering shots of her is yet another way you are holding on to her. Ignore her friends and family, they have no meaning in your life (although you're giving them a lot of power). Losing over 50 friends because of her is a clear signal you were and are in an unhealthy frame of mind. Real friends don't ditch you because of misunderstandings about what you did or did not do to her. Either they really weren't your friends in the first place or you were acting in such a way that made them believe what she was saying. I'm sorry to be harsh, but I think you need to see how your obsession with her has led you to where you are. You've allowed this to happen. Stop giving her the power to keep you down. She has no place or purpose in your life. It's great that you are seeking answers on how to change things, I applaud you for that. 1
Author rework Posted August 9, 2018 Author Posted August 9, 2018 Ummm ... wut? So you need to make a Facebook account, why exactly? I deleted it. I only made it to get her bad photos to save them.
Author rework Posted August 9, 2018 Author Posted August 9, 2018 You're obsessed with this woman. At any one of a 100 points along the way you should have just put her behind you and moved on to bigger and better things. You've held on to her and let your life fall apart. The fake Facebook account with unflattering shots of her is yet another way you are holding on to her. Ignore her friends and family, they have no meaning in your life (although you're giving them a lot of power). Losing over 50 friends because of her is a clear signal you were and are in an unhealthy frame of mind. Real friends don't ditch you because of misunderstandings about what you did or did not do to her. Either they really weren't your friends in the first place or you were acting in such a way that made them believe what she was saying. I'm sorry to be harsh, but I think you need to see how your obsession with her has led you to where you are. You've allowed this to happen. Stop giving her the power to keep you down. She has no place or purpose in your life. It's great that you are seeking answers on how to change things, I applaud you for that. I know I've given her a lot of power. Before things went down the toilet, I started to believe she was the one for me because I also happen to be an artist too. I tried to just move on, but dated women who I felt were not attractive, were not good people and yes I felt like my life fell apart. I'm starting to recreate a work out routine, because I want to lose weight. I know I shouldn't let her ruin my life, but I kinda did. It really did suck when I was in High School that I could get a variety of phone numbers from girls but because of her, that all stopped. I used to fantasize that one day I would have made it right, that I would explain to her that I didn't mean what I said those many years back.. but I realized that I already had, and that there is no going back in time and she chose to see me in a horrible light. Her husband is starting to put weight on too (noticed before I deleted the FB acct used to take her unflattering pics), so I know she isn't a good person and puts a lot of stress on others. I fell in love with them because when I was younger, I did come across a lot of cheesy blogs from her, and got to read from various online journals about this woman. She was someone that I felt was my type in more than just physical appearance. My counselor did help me see that this girl had developed a sweet online persona but was not the same person in real life. So I have been dissecting her character. That's part of the reason why I'm wanting to use her pictures to perfectly remove the good qualities from this person altogether and see what I can do to either find it in a future partner, or see if my current girlfriend shares any of these attributes, or hell, apply them to myself. The point of this post is I'm done. In a few weeks it'll reach that anniversary mark of when I first met them, and I do not want to waste another 10 years of my life obsessing over this cruel a**hole.
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