djsnake Posted August 8, 2018 Posted August 8, 2018 my girlfriend of 3 years broke up with me by saying that she doesn't feel anything and all the feeling is gone and just a few days back she booked a resort for a vacation on her birthday. but on 28 july 18 she broke up with me and cancelled all the booking. it was a long distance relationship and it was about to end as i was going to join my master and she was working. but as soon as i came to the city she told me one night that she doesn't feel anything and she doesn't want to be in a relationship, there is one female friend of her who is insisting on breaking up with me while that friend is going to get married on 11 august 2018 but she told my girlfriend to break it off, that day i cried a lot and she also cried a little and after that i went NC after 28 th July. as i was missing her i called her up again yesterday and cried more and begged in the process. she was sure that she will not come back and she has made up her mind. but she doesn't sound like herself as if she has been rehearsed by someone else. i begged and cried a lot and called her sister and her sister in law but they all told me that it was her decision. she told me that she was more happy after the breakup and she feel anxious while she was in relationship with me. i really love her because she used to love me a lot and now she seems like a totally different person. Few months back we had a lot of fight it was because of the long distance and my anger issue. i really love her and now every min and every second feels painful without her, with a thought that she would not be with me ever. i messaged her on whatsapp that how much i love her but she sounds cold as i have never seen. i really want her back what should i do. she will leave for another city for that friend marriage on 11 and will be back on 14 th. i really love her and want her back. i dont know what to do. she is still reply my text but she has blocked me on phone..
fromheart Posted August 8, 2018 Posted August 8, 2018 What sort of anger issue? How would it manifest?
LostOne08 Posted August 8, 2018 Posted August 8, 2018 The simple answer here is that you don’t try to get her back. One of the worst things you can do after a breakup is cry and beg to be taken back. That only reinforces the dumper’s decision. Contacting her family members probably only made matters worse. Think about it, if you had dumped someone, even if you were initially unsure of your decision to dump them, would them constantly contacting you and crying and begging for you to reconsider make you more or less likely to take them back? What if your friends and family members told you this person was also contacting them over your decision? Be honest. I’m sorry you’re going through a tough breakup and I know this is not what you want to hear right now, but you need to move on. Part of the reason you’re feeling so much hurt right now is because you’re still tied to her and continuing to contact her. You need to block all contact with her (like it sounds like she had done with you) and go No Contact immediately. This probably won’t help you get her back but it well help you heal and move on to your next relationship.
M1128Y Posted August 8, 2018 Posted August 8, 2018 (edited) my girlfriend of 3 years broke up with me by saying that she doesn't feel anything and all the feeling is gone and just a few days back she booked a resort for a vacation on her birthday. but on 28 july 18 she broke up with me and cancelled all the booking. it was a long distance relationship and it was about to end as i was going to join my master and she was working. but as soon as i came to the city she told me one night that she doesn't feel anything and she doesn't want to be in a relationship, there is one female friend of her who is insisting on breaking up with me while that friend is going to get married on 11 august 2018 but she told my girlfriend to break it off, that day i cried a lot and she also cried a little and after that i went NC after 28 th July. as i was missing her i called her up again yesterday and cried more and begged in the process. she was sure that she will not come back and she has made up her mind. but she doesn't sound like herself as if she has been rehearsed by someone else. i begged and cried a lot and called her sister and her sister in law but they all told me that it was her decision. she told me that she was more happy after the breakup and she feel anxious while she was in relationship with me. i really love her because she used to love me a lot and now she seems like a totally different person. Few months back we had a lot of fight it was because of the long distance and my anger issue. i really love her and now every min and every second feels painful without her, with a thought that she would not be with me ever. i messaged her on whatsapp that how much i love her but she sounds cold as i have never seen. i really want her back what should i do. she will leave for another city for that friend marriage on 11 and will be back on 14 th. i really love her and want her back. i dont know what to do. she is still reply my text but she has blocked me on phone.. I was in a long distance relationship for seven years and the girl cheated towards the end of it, and then broke up with me. It was a co-dependent and unhealthy relationship. I made her the center of my life and talked to her almost every day. When she broke up with me, I had a nervous breakdown--or at least close to one. Everyday I woke up feeling like all the color in my life was gone and that somebody had punched me in the stomach. I prayed to God for help and looking back on my life, I think He did. You shouldn't be trying to contact her. If she wants to contact you, then she'd contact you. What's more, her family and friends seem to be involved. And based on what I'm reading, my own experience, and the reaction of her family and friends, this sounds like an unhealthy relationship. They seem to be intervening on her behalf (and, implicitly, on behalf of yours). I know it feels bizarre to you because how could somebody you care for so much not seem to care as much about you? How could they not want to be with you as much as you want to be with them? This happens all the time. It happened to me. In fact, it's happening again to me right now. A girl I've been with for three years just ended things with me, with absolutely no chance of getting back together. She cheated on me as well. Despite that, I still love her and want to talk to her. But she doesn't want to talk to or be with me. She seems to want to be friends in the future, but for now, she doesn't want to talk to me at all. Not for a while, at least. And she's probably going out with that guy she cheated on me with. That's life. It has only been two days since I last contacted her and it's difficult. But we both need to respect the wishes of our exs and move on. Get the idea of them getting back with you out of your head. That's poison. You need to think of your ex like a drug addiction. Of course it feels alien not talking to her. Of course there's a hole where she once was. That's normal, but eventually that feeling will fade and then go away. Time will heal this wound. Trust me. I've been through it. And if your relationship was unhealthy like my long distance relationship was, then you'll get stronger from this. You're going to become stronger and more independent. I know this sounds like bull**** but it isn't. I've been through it. You're going to get over this. Don't worry. I don't know if you're a believer in God, but I am; I'm a Christian. And the way I look at this is the relationship I was in wasn't meant to be. I could go into the details, but I won't. Let me just say that we both had issues and did things to each other. I don't think it was God's will for me to be with this woman--and it wasn't God's will for her to be with me. That doesn't take the pain away, but it does help me understand what's going on rationally. You're going to be OK, but my suggestion to you is to pray to God for guidance. I also suggest starting a hobby, going out, being with friends, making friends, and re-connecting with family. And whatever you do, do not contact her. That will only prolong the pain. Every time you contact her or she contacts you, things will refresh. Good luck. Edited August 8, 2018 by M1128Y 1
d0nnivain Posted August 8, 2018 Posted August 8, 2018 She liked the idea of a BF. While you were long distance she could have a BF but not have to put that much effort into it. You were far away. Now that you are going to be around, she doesn't want the reality of a relationship. It's sucks. Her timing is awful. But you will going into your master's program with a clean slate open to dating new classmates.
Author djsnake Posted August 8, 2018 Author Posted August 8, 2018 What sort of anger issue? How would it manifest? i quit my job on march this year to pursue my post graduate program. i was taking a lot of weed at that time and while she was working, i used to call her and engage her and some days i shouted on her and fought a lot while under influence. but right now after that fight i quit weed completely and changed my behavior. but when she broke up with me she told me that on that day she decided to break up with me but on 28 july she had a courage to do so. she used to say that all the things you do like quiting weed, masters is all for her and not for myself. she lost feeling for me like she used to. now she says that she is more happy and less anxious as she is not in relationship. is there any chance that i can reattract her and things could become better or else she is gone for ever. from today onwards i told her that i will not message her or call her or ever show my face to her and i am doing NC from today. she was one the sweetest person i have known but after the breakup she has become a totally different person. i have never seen this side of her. she has become cold. is there any chance down the lane ? help me pls to re attract
Author djsnake Posted August 8, 2018 Author Posted August 8, 2018 I was in a long distance relationship for seven years and the girl cheated towards the end of it, and then broke up with me. It was a co-dependent and unhealthy relationship. I made her the center of my life and talked to her almost every day. When she broke up with me, I had a nervous breakdown--or at least close to one. Everyday I woke up feeling like all the color in my life was gone and that somebody had punched me in the stomach. I prayed to God for help and looking back on my life, I think He did. You shouldn't be trying to contact her. If she wants to contact you, then she'd contact you. What's more, her family and friends seem to be involved. And based on what I'm reading, my own experience, and the reaction of her family and friends, this sounds like an unhealthy relationship. They seem to be intervening on her behalf (and, implicitly, on behalf of yours). I know it feels bizarre to you because how could somebody you care for so much not seem to care as much about you? How could they not want to be with you as much as you want to be with them? This happens all the time. It happened to me. In fact, it's happening again to me right now. A girl I've been with for three years just ended things with me, with absolutely no chance of getting back together. She cheated on me as well. Despite that, I still love her and want to talk to her. But she doesn't want to talk to or be with me. She seems to want to be friends in the future, but for now, she doesn't want to talk to me at all. Not for a while, at least. And she's probably going out with that guy she cheated on me with. That's life. It has only been two days since I last contacted her and it's difficult. But we both need to respect the wishes of our exs and move on. Get the idea of them getting back with you out of your head. That's poison. You need to think of your ex like a drug addiction. Of course it feels alien not talking to her. Of course there's a hole where she once was. That's normal, but eventually that feeling will fade and then go away. Time will heal this wound. Trust me. I've been through it. And if your relationship was unhealthy like my long distance relationship was, then you'll get stronger from this. You're going to become stronger and more independent. I know this sounds like bull**** but it isn't. I've been through it. You're going to get over this. Don't worry. I don't know if you're a believer in God, but I am; I'm a Christian. And the way I look at this is the relationship I was in wasn't meant to be. I could go into the details, but I won't. Let me just say that we both had issues and did things to each other. I don't think it was God's will for me to be with this woman--and it wasn't God's will for her to be with me. That doesn't take the pain away, but it does help me understand what's going on rationally. You're going to be OK, but my suggestion to you is to pray to God for guidance. I also suggest starting a hobby, going out, being with friends, making friends, and re-connecting with family. And whatever you do, do not contact her. That will only prolong the pain. Every time you contact her or she contacts you, things will refresh. Good luck. the pain you must be going through i can understand it. i do believe in god. thanks for your kind words. if only i could help you but right now my mind seems totally blank as the love of my life has gone for reason i cannot digest. i am still in denial mode as i believe that in the near future she would come back and things will be normal as it used to be. she loved as no has ever loved me and if another person is not involve i want to get back to her. i want to reignite the lost feeling not today not tomorrow but some day. i pray to god this .
fromheart Posted August 9, 2018 Posted August 9, 2018 i quit my job on march this year to pursue my post graduate program. i was taking a lot of weed at that time and while she was working, i used to call her and engage her and some days i shouted on her and fought a lot while under influence. but right now after that fight i quit weed completely and changed my behavior. but when she broke up with me she told me that on that day she decided to break up with me but on 28 july she had a courage to do so. she used to say that all the things you do like quiting weed, masters is all for her and not for myself. she lost feeling for me like she used to. now she says that she is more happy and less anxious as she is not in relationship. is there any chance that i can reattract her and things could become better or else she is gone for ever. from today onwards i told her that i will not message her or call her or ever show my face to her and i am doing NC from today. she was one the sweetest person i have known but after the breakup she has become a totally different person. i have never seen this side of her. she has become cold. is there any chance down the lane ? help me pls to re attract To be honest, if a woman was shouting at me for no good reason I would dump her. Drink and drugs are rarely compatible in relationships. Im guessing your young and when I was in my 20's I'd have so many shouting matches with GF's. I avoid this as much as possible now. If she starts shouting for no good reason, I just end it as the shouting will most probably get worse with time and age. All you can do right now, is tell her that you have strong feelings for her and would like to give it another go. But you can't be friends as that's not what you want. Don't tell her what you are doing with your life, and how you've improved or anything like that. Its up to her if she wishes to know about you. Then disappear, NC forever if you don't hear from her. You may have to just learn from your mistake and move on. I've had to do the same, most of us have.
Recommended Posts