Outcast Posted September 5, 2005 Posted September 5, 2005 If a guy feels like less of a man because one time he doesn't pay, then he must not have had much manhood to begin with You got that right! Sometimes to give, we must allow others to give to us. EXACTLY Who wants to feel like a mooch? What's 'ladylike' about being a constant taker and not a giver? (Well, unless I guess you put out as your gift in return )
Jtizzle Posted September 5, 2005 Posted September 5, 2005 it all depends on the circumstances of who pays..my last bf didnt pay for dates we'd go bowlin, to movies, have dinner at fancy restraurants and eat steak and lobster(him),do all that i usually footed the bill..because he didnt have alot of money, and i understood that when i met him..so on that note i had no real problem in paying for our dates.. been out of the "dating" field since him...and i have a date a month from now, which will be on my bday..and were goin to six flags for fright fest..i told him my mother works for cisco systems and she gets discount tickets for the park..and he was like ok, how much they runnin ill pay..so i was like, naw i got this..and he was shocked:eek: ..but he'll make up for it when we get to the park, he payin for everything:D .. i usually say this..the person who asks the other person if they want to go out, should pay...or at least if females feel the male should pay most of the time...why not pay 25% of the time..at least
littlekitty Posted September 5, 2005 Posted September 5, 2005 First to 3rd Date: Instigator pays. From there on it, I believe it should be pretty equal. My bf and I were honest with each other about our finacial status pretty early on, both of us were struggling slightly. We then found that our paydates were nicely timed that sometimes he could afford to take us out when I had no money, and vice versa. So we share, it works out pretty equal. We help each other out, after all we at the end of the day, it's all swings and roundabouts. I like to treat him as much as he does me. It's great to both give and recieve. My pride wouldn't allow me to have a man pay for everything all the time. I have money too!! Oh and JS17.... I love your avatar!! Is that you?!! Brilliant!
Author AmberAriesMom Posted September 5, 2005 Author Posted September 5, 2005 I'm with RP....I'm a Lady= the guy who wants to court me pays for the cost of it. I want to be wooed because I'm worth it and he needs to make that known by paying because words are cheap, hormones can't be trusted. I'm not saying he has to take me fancy places that cost oodles of money. It's in the type of experiences he wants to share with me to the point that he is willing to use his money for that as opposed to other non-obligatory things. Of course, I also think that whomever does the asking does the paying, but I'd never in a million years ask a guy out.
Lights Posted September 5, 2005 Posted September 5, 2005 Checking the current trends again..... Under what circumstances should a man allow his female date to pay her own half of the date....or pay for it all? When women I asked out offered to pay her own half, I let them. I think it's respectable and thoughtful when they do. I haven't been asked out on dates yet, but once that starts happening more regularly I will always offer to pay my half. I will not attempt to create too ugly an argument if she insists, though. Usually when questions like this come up, the messages posted in response have a very predictable theme, so I'll state my opinions about what's already been posted here: 1. Last millennium's gender roles don't apply to this millennium's men. 2. The system of "the person who does the asking pays for the date" is theoretically a great idea, but too many women are retrograde jokes who do not equally share in the asking out, so it ends up being disproportionally men who end up paying under that system.
Fun2BMe Posted November 27, 2005 Posted November 27, 2005 Another old tradition: When walking down the street, do you guys stand on the outside and you girls on the inside (the outside being the street side). With many guys I've dated, they will "switch us" if we are walking "incorrectly". They say the girl isn't supposed to walk on the outside because it looks as if she is being "pimped". Standing on the inside, then, is a sign of respect and shows she is taken. When I was younger I laughed at it and found it to be terribly old and patriarchical, but now its something I've almost learned to expect. I think if I dated someone who let me walk on the outside, I might actually be offended....like "What?!? This mother#@$#@% wants to pimp me??!?":laugh: That tradition stems froim the days when horses were used for transportation. As they trotted, they would splash mud onto people on the street, so it was customary for the man to protect the lady by walking along the street side. But if it makes you feel good and not seem pimped, for any reason then that is ok too.
FireReady Posted November 27, 2005 Posted November 27, 2005 Ok, here's the thing. We can't as women expect to have a double standard in society... on the one hand expect to be treated equally, but on the other hand assume that we don't have to pay on dates. That's called selective equality which is just downright silly! So... I think that the woman (and the man) should always offer to pay. But if it's an ego thing (and I'm saying ego not in a negative connotation) then whomever "insists" should have the final say... It's a date for crying out loud, not a marriage proposal, which in itself can open another can of worms...
Fun2BMe Posted November 27, 2005 Posted November 27, 2005 I think that the woman (and the man) should always offer to pay. In my experience, whenever I (female) have offered to pay I have instantly lost respect from the man. He might think I am used to being treated poorly and expect to pay. On the rare occassions if the man expects me to pay for half, I lose interest in him. I have money and believe in equality and all those things. I feel like a cheap girl though if I pay and upset if the man will accept my money, even if it's $5 for a coffee and a muffin deal. Am I in the minority? The men who don't expect for me to pay are always more curteous and respectfl throughout the date, open doors and all the other nice things a woman likes. I without exception always decline a second date from a man who accepts my date money, no matter how much I was into him before that point. Once I'm in a relationship, I have no problem picking up the entire tab and don't give it a second thought to take out my money to chip in. Only in the initial getting to know you dates I expect the man to not expect me to offer to pay. I don't think tkhat's too much to ask for otherwise I will feel like I am spreading myself thin.
CoolAunt Posted November 27, 2005 Posted November 27, 2005 I've always believed that whoever does the inviting does the paying. So, if she asks him out, she should pay. If he asks her out, he should pay.
doru Posted November 27, 2005 Posted November 27, 2005 I almost never pay... most of the times the other person offers to pay my part too, even if it's a woman. The thing is I always offer to pay or at least offer to pay for my part but in the end I'm not the one paying. The thing is I don't make the offer twice.
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