mkaur215 Posted August 7, 2018 Posted August 7, 2018 I ended up giving him a call which he ignored and put to voicemail which then led me to send him a text message which said: I called to apologize for my sisters boyfriend reaching out to you. I would never want to bring someone else into this and wouldn’t disrespect you by having a stranger talking to you. Originally i was just going to ask how your summer was going because i missed you. but i ended up asking him what you said. I didnt realize i betrayed your trust and dont see my actions as betrayal. You were my first relationship and my lack of experience destroyed something that couldve been great. I would never intentionally hurt you and if i knew my lack of communication will make you lose trust it would have never happened. Its my own fault that it took me losing you to realize the impact you’ve had in my life and the empty space you’ve left in my heart, and God knows i regret it every day. I dont know if you’ll believe anything ive messaged but God as my witness I miss you so goddamn much and care for you a whole lot. I’m not asking for another chance but I miss being there for u even just as a friend. This will be my last attempt at reaching out to you because i cant keep doing this to you if you dont want anything to do with me and for my own sanity i had to give it one last try because regret is the worst thing and i cant keep living hating myself. He then replied that he cannever be in a relationship with someone he doesnt trust but we can try to b friends. Im thinking but i dont think i can stay just friends with him. Im hoping maybe friendship will maybe change into more
ThreeRainbows Posted August 7, 2018 Posted August 7, 2018 I am sure he had a part to play in this relationship's downfall? Why are you so apologetic? Don't send anymore texts like this - it just pushes him away further. He may "say" it's due to trust (and maybe it is), but often, it's also due to clinginess. This text is very clingy. It reeks of "please love me." Definitely don't be friends. That will hurt you. Just work on yourself. Work on becoming emotionally strong, independent, and become the best you. Don't be so damn apologetic. Respect yourself! Was this guy some kind of angel? I doubt it. Take him off his pedestal, and gain some perspective. There are so many great guys out there, I promise you will find another more deserving! 1
Author mkaur215 Posted August 7, 2018 Author Posted August 7, 2018 Hi ms rainbow, u have commented on my previous post before. But i ended the relationship after 2 years of mixed feelings about him and always doubting whether it will last. In his defense i feel i betrayed his trust by making it seem that we had hope. Only until after he was gone i started have all these intense feelings for him.
ThreeRainbows Posted August 7, 2018 Posted August 7, 2018 Hi ms rainbow, u have commented on my previous post before. But i ended the relationship after 2 years of mixed feelings about him and always doubting whether it will last. In his defense i feel i betrayed his trust by making it seem that we had hope. Only until after he was gone i started have all these intense feelings for him. Oh goodness. Let this be a lesson to you. Never let someone go because feelings are wavering (unless he is abusive / mean to you, or trust has been broken). Feelings are an inside job. I mean, you can move on to someone else, but you will have the same problem again. This is a problem within yourself. Either you need to practice being radically honest and authentic, or you need to deal with the lulls/boring periods in relationships. It is not your partner's job to entertain you. Additionally, the "in-love" high never lasts. To boot, it's an illusion. Companionate love (what's left after the high) is the real deal. Don't throw it away lightly. The grass is not greener on the other side. It is greener where you water it. Next time, try to work on the relationship before ditching the guy. Otherwise, you will experience this again.
ExpatInItaly Posted August 7, 2018 Posted August 7, 2018 Hi ms rainbow, u have commented on my previous post before. But i ended the relationship after 2 years of mixed feelings about him and always doubting whether it will last. In his defense i feel i betrayed his trust by making it seem that we had hope. Only until after he was gone i started have all these intense feelings for him. Then this is not the right relationship for you. When you are ready and more emotionally mature, you will understand that the right relationship for you doesn't seem right only after it's over. Leave him be now, OP. Maybe you can be friendly in the future, but now isn't the time for it.
Author mkaur215 Posted August 7, 2018 Author Posted August 7, 2018 Honestly throughout the 2 years being with him, ive always had doubts being with him. Eventually i ended it because i felt it wasnt fair to him being with someone who wasnt evensure she could see a future with and wasnt in it 100%
ExpatInItaly Posted August 7, 2018 Posted August 7, 2018 Honestly throughout the 2 years being with him, ive always had doubts being with him. Eventually i ended it because i felt it wasnt fair to him being with someone who wasnt evensure she could see a future with and wasnt in it 100% Then recognize that you subsequent events to contact him are probably more to soothe your loneliness and guilt than anything else. If you had reconciled, it more than likely would have ended the same way. 1
CantTakeMySmile Posted August 7, 2018 Posted August 7, 2018 May I ask why you texted him after he sent your call through to voice mail?
d0nnivain Posted August 7, 2018 Posted August 7, 2018 This was your 1st relationship. You didn't know how to be in a relationship. You had understandable doubts about the relationship during it's entire existence. As a result you got out. For him to say this was your fault & that now he can't trust you is ridiculous. This is not solely your fault. It may have been the timing. It may have been him. Now that you broke up you are having what I call dumper's remorse. It's kind of like buyers' remorse but it's more like oh why did I break up; being with somebody is better then being alone; what did I do? Being alone is actually better then being in a relationship that wasn't working but it is more difficult & takes work. You no longer have a built in companion. That is no reason to do backwards. Do yourself a huge favor & delete his contact info out of your phone. It will save you from messages like those. Do not try to be just his friend. Post break up friendships are a farce. Everybody is uncomfortable. You can't have deep conversations. They prevent you from healing & moving forward. Any quality new person coming into your lives will not tolerate the EXs presence.
Author mkaur215 Posted August 7, 2018 Author Posted August 7, 2018 I was going through a lot of emotions and wanted him to know despite what he thought i truly did miss him and cared for him and was hoping he’ll realize i do regret ending it.
Author mkaur215 Posted August 7, 2018 Author Posted August 7, 2018 (edited) D0nnivain idk what it is thats making me regret it. At one point i felt that i will never find somone that will treat me like the way he did.and recently ive just felt like an ******* for treating someone bad by bad i mean not texting him as much and not giving him enough attention as i should have. He keeps saying that i betrayed his trust the only way i can justify him saying that was that i didnt communicate with him my feelings about our relationship. But i feel hes trying to use that as an excuse to make it easier to move on. After so much pleading and pouring my emotions out to him if he truly was planning a future/marrying with me i feel he wouldve wanted to try it one more time. Im not trying to feel entitled here but what do u guys think? Edited August 7, 2018 by mkaur215 Typo
stillafool Posted August 7, 2018 Posted August 7, 2018 I feel like you are right that he is using that as an excuse to move on. Now that you know this it is time to grow up and move on. He isn't the last man on earth and if he really wanted you he would have accepted your apology and asked to get back and try again with open communication. He's over it now and you have to be too. We all learn something from our first love experience.
Author mkaur215 Posted August 8, 2018 Author Posted August 8, 2018 Honestly for the first time since we broke up i no longer have hope of him coming back. I try to focus on his negatives and how hes keep using this no trust excuse to not try again to help convince me this was not the guy for me and its been helping. I didnt cry yesterday (no contact day 1 again) and im starting to thibk even if he does come back in the future I probably wont come running to him
d0nnivain Posted August 8, 2018 Posted August 8, 2018 I think you are growing stronger & that is a good thing. You don't really regret the BU. It's just that change is difficult & scary.
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